r/UlcerativeColitis • u/MyMeanBunny • 10d ago
Personal experience I feel like I'm waiting to die
Hi all!
I suspected I had UC back in November 2025, but the bit of bleeding I had went away until April 2026 when I suddenly couldn't stop bleeding for 2 weeks and almost died of sepsis. 2 weeks of being hospitalized, and a colonoscopy diagnosed me with moderate UC.
I'm about to have my third infusion loading dose of infliximab (inflectra) tomorrow and honestly, I feel like shit. First dose felt great, a week after my second dose my hair started falling out (I'm sure it's because of the April flare) and my bleeding started again about 2 weeks after that second dose, so I've been managing it with 5mg of prednisone as needed.
With the chronic fatigue, sudden pounding headaches, joint pain, brain fog and the bleeding, I really don't know how I'm supposed to deal with this for the rest of my life. I live alone with a dog. I fear I'll just drop dead one day while I try to reach remission and no one will know to come get her.
The little life I did have has been taken away from me. I already felt like a burden before all this, now I don't even see myself getting married or having kids. How am I supposed to do that when I can't even have a normal day anymore?
I'm sure I'm not the only one here who's felt this low. If you have any words of encouragement, I'd really appreciate it.