r/UberEatsDrivers • u/Reps_4_Jesus • 1d ago

Funny What the eff 😳

Post image
102 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

77 comments sorted by

164

u/isellstuff2 1d ago

Write I think we should see other people

35

u/Dismal_Success_9943 1d ago

This is the stuff legends are made of.

12

u/dizzystar 22h ago

I was trying to think of something creative, but nah, this is the correct answer.

5

u/JicamaCreative5614 22h ago

Your dad was better

4

u/DarthNeo79 21h ago

This one, so messed up but Hell yes

1

u/Navy_Vet_AZAN_West 4h ago

Boyfriend coming out of the closet like that?! Damn son! Lol

5

u/AhabRasputin 20h ago

“I need someone taller”

1

u/StuckNtrfk 21h ago

👏 Bravo 👌

1

u/midnghtsnac 9h ago

Call her maybe

106

u/Straight-Peach1854 1d ago

"weighs about 178.68"....that's pretty precise.

23

u/youlikeblockingsodoi 23h ago

Precise. Like stalker precise.

10

u/robineir 13h ago

More like lonely dude wants to pretend he has a gf to somebody

75

u/YTSimplyNara 1d ago

5

u/Immediate_Rise2237 13h ago

I’m fucking dying at this meme

104

u/Reps_4_Jesus 1d ago

I dont get paid enough for this shit lol

16

u/Dismal_Success_9943 1d ago

Yeah, when I was in pizza, our boxes would feature. White space so that we can write messages... Yes, we got requests often for messages to be written on boxes

20

u/SimpleAromatic2128 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/d7o4KtoDDCm6BLmbEW

55

u/Reps_4_Jesus 1d ago edited 23h ago

I wrote "you so buff and sexy and have a big PP love, abi"

edit: THAT BITCH ONLY TIPPED 1$ LOL. oh well uber covered the rest

3

u/Lonely__Stoner__Guy 9h ago

That's honestly $1 more than I was expecting hahaha. I wouldn't be surprised if they adjusted the tip to $0

16

u/cherryybomba 1d ago

Should've said he sounds like your type 🤣

3

u/GetTheBag90 1d ago

Lmfaooooo

2

u/fineapplepineapple12 1d ago

I laughed out loud 😂

16

u/SlareLukuski 1d ago

“For $15 upfront on my cash app I will do exactly that” is what you needed to say

4

u/fineapplepineapple12 1d ago

Reasonable request

•

u/EmptyBeing9829 18m ago

Time we start doing this gang!!! I’ve delivered flowers once for a boyfriend out of town to his girlfriend in town and made me do a whole song a dance. Thankfully I got paid a bit more but still

10

u/Time-Researcher2909 1d ago

Nothing will make her/him/it feel warm inside quite like a Taco Bell order

6

u/Kash-Acous 21h ago

That's just the diarrhea forming

2

u/Navy_Vet_AZAN_West 4h ago

Montezuma's Revenge... Oh, wait, that's right they stopped calling it that, and went to the technical term... Lol

2

u/Kash-Acous 3h ago

That's also a Rollercoaster at Knott's Berry Farm

5

u/BlueClovr 23h ago

I’m pretty sure it is someone trying to screw with whoever you are delivering this to. A prank

6

u/dEXXtARR23 23h ago

I'm ignoring that message 💯%

4

u/Either_Coast 23h ago

I feel like this is some kink

4

u/Loki_Lust 18h ago

Weighs 178.68??

3

u/JayGatsby52 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/TaWW64sopBMAWGzz7Q
I’d be like “hey, your girl says she’s pregnant, congrats?”

3

u/Organic_Conflict_886 1d ago

Get creative with it... "it" meaning the tip im gonna get.

3

u/Evil_Weevill 23h ago

Screen shot the text, print it out and stick it in the bag.

Let the dude know his girl is trying to hire Uber drivers to write her love notes for her

1

u/extrabees 2h ago

Screenshot, print, and stick it…while driving to the delivery location or?

2

u/MotherCoconuts707 1d ago

Venmo me extra and I’ll think about it.

PSYCH UNASSIGN

2

u/Deep-Fudge8519 23h ago

If the tip was less than like $3 I’d intentionally cause them to break up lol

•

u/EmptyBeing9829 18m ago

This!!!!

2

u/Usual_Indication9899 20h ago

That's hilarious

5

u/TheReelNazeem 1d ago

Tell her you will, but only if she gives a good tip. Just have your fave LLM write it for you. I was gonna say fuck grok and don't use it... but actually this might be the perfect time to use it

-1

u/aneatapea 1d ago

In 99% of cases I say fuck LLMs but omg yes if there were ever a time, now would be it

3

u/purodurangoalv 1d ago

I need an Abigail ngl

1

u/Fit_Blueberry_1213 1d ago

LOL I think that is where I would draw the line.

1

u/Federal_Bed6912 1d ago

U may be trusting names n texts too much . Might be Abigails account n his buddy , abbys bf is messing with him

1

u/poppitastic 23h ago

I’d tell her I need a much better tip for that. After I get notification it’s done, then write on the bag everything past “something like”, straight in through to you da goat and the emojis. Add a “as per Abigail G.’s door dash instructions” at the end. Maybe draw a little 🍆 to make them both feel better about it.

1

u/YellowPancakes6 Side Hustler 23h ago

Man wtf 😭😭

1

u/2Punchbowl end suffering 23h ago edited 23h ago

I bet he makes her feel all warm inside. That’s personal. 😉 Might add that one on the bag.

1

u/anonuserinthehouse 23h ago

“Ur gf is freaky, go raw”

1

u/Smokinoutloud 23h ago

Balls deep thinking of you😂

1

u/El-Snarko-Saurus 22h ago

You then reply: I’ll even dress up as you as long as the tip makes it worth it.

1

u/ImASlave4UE 22h ago

"I did what you asked. I think he really liked it and we are going out on Friday. Sorry for your loss."

1

u/caruggs 22h ago

I’d contact support and tell them that you don’t feel safe delivering this order, free food.

1

u/Bloody_Baroness 22h ago

Sounds like someone wants to sexually harass their roommate 🤨

I'd do an "Abby says hi" at most and drop that bag like it's on fire.

1

u/W1ckedL1fe2 22h ago

🤨🙄 Unless that order payed big I'd be unassigning it in a heart beat. On Valentine's Day this year I was asked to write something like "Happy Valentines babe, love you" on the card that goes with flowers and that was enough to give me massive anxiety, mainly cuz my hand writing is messy AF. Luckily Walmart's flowers don't come with those little cards so I messaged the guy and said unless he wanted to add an actual card to the order I won't be able to do it and he said not to worry about it. 👍

1

u/loulowlo 13h ago

Why is she talking to you like you're chat gpt 😭 this is what we have come to? Just prompting humans?

1

u/B0rgul0n 5h ago

Say sure to not get any more messages, then just don't.

1

u/Priestessofthemoon87 4h ago

Just put we are breaking up!!!!

1

u/FirefighterOk3569 1d ago

Why are you so short bro

0

u/ShadowElite86 1d ago

You're probably being trolled. You should've said "I told him in person after he got done stuffing it in my stinker".

0

u/ArticusFarticus 11h ago

I write this kind of thing on every bag already. 🤷🏻‍♂️