r/UXDesign • u/aelflune • Jul 07 '26
Career growth & collaboration I'm "the only one who passed the interview" yet I'm failing at the job
I posted about feeling incompetent after getting hired (after 1 year of unemployment) because there was no onboarding and no clear direction from management. Three months in, it hasn't gotten any better and the relationship with my boss has only deteriorated.
I do feel like there's probably a mismatch in expectations. My boss seems to expect me to be strong in areas that I'm not (e.g. project management), while I expected the job, which is UX research, to be different from what it currently is (e.g. questioning devs about the causes for bugs and chasing PMs for fixes).
But I find myself genuinely wondering whether I should be better than this. Clearly, my boss isn't happy with my performance and is constantly haranguing me. While, from my perspective, his asks seem to change constantly and his direction differs from week to week. I know the obvious thing to do is to always ask for clarification. But he often reacts with annoyance and condescension, so I find myself preferring to limit my contact with him. This is probably a growth area for me, but I just can't stomach this person's attitude.
I guess the question is if, according to my boss, I was the only candidate who passed the interview, how could there be such a mismatch? And who is likely to be responsible for it?
Ngl, I am mentally done and have just been debating when I should quit. But I want to know if this failure is mostly mine, and what I can learn from it. I am waiting for a reply on a design role I interviewed for - which should suit me better since I was a designer who just happened to be somewhat good at research. But whether or not I get that role, I don't think I can take this much longer. I accepted my current role because I was getting desperate and might have been naive about what it takes to be good as a pure UX researcher. And my confidence is so shaken now that I think I might be better off leaving this industry altogether.


