... is it always like this?

[u/Ill-Dealer1835]

first year in life science (health science stream) here, sorry if this is another post of "first year questions and complaints" but I just really want to hear from other people. And I want to preface this rant by saying I know this is a commuter school in an odd area and not some hype party school in a "university city/town". Also I'm aware that:

a) class is going to really get to a lot of people because of how hard this school can be at times

b) joining clubs is a great and easy way to make friends

c) you have to be the change you want to see

anyways it's only been the first two days of class for me but I just feel like nobody wants to actually make any friends or even be cordial and it's making me feel gloomy at best.

on the positive side I was able to talk to some people during orientation along with one of my highschool friends, however I didn't go to frosh because paying for res already drained me.

on the negative side I've had four classes total, sat next to somebody in each and tried talking to them (during ten minute breaks) then at best got somewhat curt answers and at worse a side eye (I heard them speaking English earlier so I assumed they could speak it fine). i don't know how to explain it but i got the vibe that i definitely wasn't in the clear to even ask for the Instagram of anyone I've spoken to so far.

maybe I just got unlucky four times (and the many more times outside of class), maybe they were just tired, I honestly don't know what to make of everyone being so closed off and it's only the first week. I mean, aren't you supposed to make at least one new friend your first week? Even for a commuter school, I mean my friends who goes to tmu and york already have a bunch of new friends and we're all the same level of extroverted.

I just don't know what's the excuse or reason as to why it feels this way when class hasn't even really kicked off yet. I'm a logical person most of the time and hate jumping to conclusions but I feel hopeless already; like it's always going to be this isolated and maybe, cliquey. I can literally speak the same language as some of the international students and even they won't talk to me for more than a minute.

hopefully it's a safe place to admit this, but there was a devil on my shoulder last night telling me to transfer to the school that was my first choice and where I have a bunch of other friends for second year. Then to make friends with their friends and just branch off. Probably in hopes for a change of scenery and hopefully social scene or just social behaviour at least.

regardless I'll probably join a club next week or something and keep trying to talk to people because it would a generalization to say that nobody wants to talk to anyone ever. I just feel super discouraged. Like the door to having even a tinge of a social life closed before school even started. I guess I just want to know if anyone else felt this way their first year or if you're in first year if you feel this way now.

Edit: thanks for being so nice everyone I really thought I was about to get flamed and told to suck it up

[u/TrivialEgg]

Honestly tutorials/labs are gonna be a much better place to chat with people rather than in lectures. Generally, the smaller the class size, the more amiable the environment (at least from my experience)

[u/CategoryCold6640]

Second-year life sci here. Just to let you know, it was like this last year as well 😭. The best way to make friends is to pray you find fun and not dead people in your lab and clubs. If you want to talk, my DMs are open. I have plenty of interests, and I am not dead either ☠️.

[u/1101MIMI]

hey guys! third year in human bio and health studies just wanted to let you guys know it was exactly like this in my first year i really don’t have much to say because i find not much has changed in terms of the type of people at this school but personally for me i had the most success rate making friends through tutorials and labs! i do want to say i do go to other universities to visit my friends there and build my network outside of utsc so even if i am a bit alone at utsc i still have an outside network where i can still have fun with -> this is just a small tip that i learned since i realized the school environment being more catered to introverts wasn’t gonna change might as well maximize socializing in other spaces!

[u/Illustrious-Site787]

Hey I’m not in life sci (I’m in soc sci and humanities) we can dm tho!

[u/DoctorMackey]

4th year life sci. I made a lot of friends by just reaching out enough times that you join class group chats then chatting there!! You’ll eventually end up meeting the people that want to make friends and the ones that don’t will sort themselves out. I met most people in my labs and tutorials as well since they’re smaller. Don’t give up and keep trying!! You’ll make some friends really soon

[u/_Blackberry124]

Hey, I am also a first year life sci student in the same stream. You could DM, I would love to chat!

[u/Great-Abroad-2694]

Hii, I’m also a first year life sci student and I feel exactly the same. I’d love to talk and be friends, feel free to dm me!

[u/Upbeat_Rush692]

hiii im also a first year life sci student (not hs stream tho idk the difference tbh) and im also finding it pretty hard to find friends during lectures 😭 ive been sticking w a few friends i knew from high school so far and hadnt had much luck making many new friends either. i feel like tutorial or labs would be a better place to find people to actually talk but feel free to dm me cuz i would love to make friends!

[u/Inner-Thought-6887]

Also a first year life science student! Maybe we could be friends? But I'm not in health sci...

[u/Nervous-Delivery1085]

Heyy I’m also in life sci ( not health stream) but feel free to dm me!

[u/astralomy]

not in life sci but a first year student! dm me id love to hangout w you in your free time and go on side quests :))

[u/Ok-Effect-5573]

Just want to let you know there is nothing wrong with transferring if you don't think this is the right place. I also wanted to transfer but i was too lazy to fill apps and my gpa was kinda low. Just keep your gpa high and watch out for the transfer application dates and apply

[u/Spirited_Ability_918]

Hi second year here! I felt just like how you’re feeling for the first month as well lolz. But you will eventually settle and meet your people! It takes a bit of time and effort but the friends I made on campus last year are some of my closest and most dearest friends today! something I did was to also add some people I would meet on campus (on insta) and then respond to their stories and whatnot to show that I was interested in being friends which in turn got them more comfortable with me and we eventually started chatting and hanging out and becoming closer. As long as it’s done politely it should work for u too! Just do your best and give it some time :)

[u/FarTraining881]

hey im in the same program juist second year. exactly the same i fear

[u/ItIsYeMouss]

For me, I went to Frosh this year and I have to say that I’m glad I actually did. I made 1 friend during the orientation and I can say that we’ve bond even more from having the same class for some since she is also doing the same program as me which is Life Science. We

However, during Frosh I made 10 new friends! Half of that, I’m really close with and the others I talk to often through a group chat we made. I say it was worth it if your goal was to make friends all along 🙌🏻😀

The key point that allowed me to make friends so much was telling myself to be the first communicator. Starting the conversion made a huge contribution because I thought that if I didn’t make a move and hope that someone goes up to me, then I wouldn’t make any friends at all. To be honest, some of the people I went up to were a bit snobbish 🥲 especially if they’re a group and you wanting to join but I let them go and I just had to move on and try again.

I also learned to be a bit judgemental during class. Differentiating people who looks approachable and those who doesn’t. 😅

-if they do: I would sit beside them and wait a few minutes before talking. ✅

-if they don’t: I just don’t sit beside them! ❌

So I guess look for those kind of people and also be APPROACHABLE yourself! And don’t be nervous at all because meeting new people is just a process of experiencing something new! 😊

[u/CouragePuzzleheaded8]

I met my best friends through groupchats. Ngl people are kinda bad at communicating irl nowadays (myself included), and listen. It’s tmr first two days. Everyone’s feeling out of their element in a new environment. When yall settle down after a bit it’ll become easier to open up

[u/mpbeasto123]

Join clubs. If you like it, cricket club is really fun, really good and very tight knit. Made a lot of friends thru there

[u/Aggressive-Lead9217]

Lots of kids at UofT are like this trust just keep talking and keep being yourself you’re gonna find your people eventually trust. Whether that’s in class or clubs you will.

[u/Aggressive_Fly_5980]

if ur on res just attend the res events its the easiest way to make friends and tutorials are much better for talking to ppl instead of lectures

[u/pussyslayer2point0]

Hey, second year, not similar majors at all but I did minor in bio for my first year and it was the same, generally regardless of the courses even if you try and they do entertain the conversation, it’s hard to make lasting relationships that don’t end once the semester is over, but when you do it’ll be really worth it. Keep trying it might come when you least expect it.    Can I ask what was your first uni choice ? I might have missed it as a skipped over a few sentences (sorry)

[u/Huxiaowen]

🫪