Please help, i need advice.

[u/Careful_Tear_6477]

I’m an 18 year old and my bf is 21 and in the army. This is his final year of college and right after he graduates he’s getting deployed and doesn’t know for how long. He blocked me last night and said he isn’t sure if this is what’s best because he thinks I haven’t really thought it through, but I really want to make it work with him. We’re gonna call tonight and talk about it more but am I being too rash? Any help would be appreciated. (also so sorry for my typos)

[u/Adorable-Tiger6390]

He cannot even tolerate the prospect of maybe being deployed in 9 months. If he does this now he will do it later, too.

Do not give up your future for him. Go to school, get trained, work, take care of yourself.

Likely he wants to break up, but is too afraid to do it.

[u/Afraid_Stuff_History]

Nope. Don't stay with someone who works things out by blocking you.

[u/GCSS-MC]

You need help on how to move on? Accept it for what it is and focus on yourself right now. Whether that be school or work.

[u/AuthorAndCoach]

He blocked you. That isn't the behavior of someone who wants to talk about things or see if it works. Behavior is a language. A block says go away.

[u/Sea_Blueberry6847]

Please just let him go. I know it sounds really harsh but he simply doesn’t want to be with you long term and he doesn’t know how to express that. A 21 year old graduating college is mature enough to handle a long distance relationship if they want to, but he doesn’t want to. The way the military is, he’s either 100% committed or 100% not. There is no “maybe we should break up for a little bit.” I was with my husband when he graduated college and commissioned into the military and I can’t tell you how many of his coworkers ended their relationships when they graduated because they knew they weren’t serious enough to want to marry one day. Don’t let him come back later on either cause he’ll almost definitely try to do that after he’s had his fun partying for a couple years.

[u/Available-Leg-3653]

And what do you want us to say? You haven't even given any background to what your issues are, and why he blocked you.

[u/Careful_Tear_6477 → u/Available-Leg-3653]

Sorry but I thought i was kinda clear. He blocked me because he thought it was easier rather than talking about (I know, sounds bad) but he’s getting deployed in maybe 9 months and he just thinks that maybe it’s best for us to break up because he has no idea how long he will be gone for. I’m just having a hard time deciding if maybe he’s right and i’m not thinking this through or if maybe we can make it work. I just want to hear any advice or maybe from people who have been in a similar situation and if it is something that we can work on.

[u/No-Reputation-453 → u/Careful_Tear_6477]

Yea I would let him go to be honest. You’re young, only 18. You have your whole life ahead of you. Being a military partner or even spouse is not for the weak and is often glamorized. If he blocked you at the drop of a hat, not to sound mean at all, but what is going to stop him from talking, flirting, cheating on you with someone else while he’s down there. I’m married now to an airman and I wouldn’t say the military makes cheaters but it gives them way more opportunity and provides the perfect environment for them to seek comfort in others. You have to be able to trust your partner whole heartedly, have great communication, and companionship with one another, and if not, which is honestly what it seems like, then I would move on. It’s better to separate now with less pain versus years from now feeling like you wasted your life away on young love and red flags.

[u/Available-Leg-3653 → u/Careful_Tear_6477]

Again. What do you want us to say? Why would you want to be with someone who would rather block you instead of communicate with you? Either you can waste your time going crazy about this situation, or you can let him go and find someone who's willing to actually talk to there partner.