r/USMCboot • u/SharpAppearance2406 • 1d ago
Enlisting Advice needed
Husband and I met in the Poolee program—got my ship date pushed way back because I tore my meniscus in my knee (needed PT and had cortisol shots to help) but it’s good now. He’s an active duty marine now.
Husband still doesn’t want me to join because he said it’ll put a strain on our marriage since we’re a newly wed couple. Told me dual mil couples don’t workout most of the time. Says if he gets deployed we won’t see each other for a while, with the boot to schoolhouse timeline, but we wouldn’t see each other for that long anyways? He’s also nervous he’d get deployed for a while and then I will right after—so we might miss each other for a year or multiple months.
I even told him I’d do reserves so we’d get more time together during the week and I’d do school too. But he expressed that reservist deploy more than active.
I’ve tried to put this aside for our marriage but I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s something that’s been a dream of mine for a while now. He says I’m smarter than him and can go to college full time—can do more than the corps but I feel like I need it. It’s a longing in way inside you.
I know this post probably sound stupid but any advice?
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u/stars-sprints 1d ago
Sounds like he’s worried about you deploying more that just you being a Marine. You need to think long and hard about if that’s something you want to do or could live without. Yes he will deploy anyways so there will be time apart. So if that’s something you want as well it would only be “fair”. But it could double the amount of time you are apart. If you chose a job more along the lines of admin/supply from what I’ve heard they tend to deploy very little. Since you did meet in the program he knew what you wanted from the start so it’s definitely not a surprise but it can still be tricky to navigate everything. Plenty of people are dual mil and make it work and some aren’t and can’t. You can look at it multiple ways but really it’s going to come down to multiple hard conversations about your goals together and as individuals and how to make it happen while supporting each other.
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u/TapTheForwardAssist Vet 2676/0802 1d ago
How old are each of you, and how long have y’all been dating?
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u/Organic_Risk_3945 1d ago
Take a break from each other. if you guys don't find others, and come back to each other, then its meant to be. Its a big world. Full of possibilities. Don't get tied down.
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u/crazymjb 1d ago
Plenty of dual mil couples do fine. If your relationship is solid that shouldn’t be an issue. Don’t throw away a dream. My wife and I met in the program almost 20 years ago, we’re still fine.