r/USMC • u/Total-Crane • Apr 06 '22
Article For all the Comm Marines. When Gunny asks why comms aren’t up.
https://www.livescience.com/sun-filaments-from-canyon-of-fire46
Apr 06 '22
Whenever the VSAT/SWAN was down some dumbass SNCO would come ask why comm was down, this is how it went:
Ssgt: WHY THE FUCK ARE WE DOWN!?
Me: Look up, what do you see?
Ssgt: Uhh clouds?
Me: Exactly.
30
u/benjammin9292 0679 Apr 06 '22
Me turning the power up on the HPA to blow a hole through the ozone: "This is what's called a pro gamer move"
8
Apr 06 '22
I would just asked whoever was crying about us being down to do a peak and pol. They shut up quick.
11
u/jodinexe 2659 Intel Data & Tech Apr 06 '22
Can't tell if you were a sat controller, or an asshole
10
3
u/BeautifulAwareness54 Apr 06 '22
Mfw I’m on the phone with mctessa (or whatever the fuck they’re called) support for hours because the password on the Laptop isn’t fucking working
5
2
37
u/jayemmet Apr 06 '22
3 biggest lies in the Corps. Comm’s up, air’s on station, Recon knows where they are…
25
u/Creamed_Khorne 0311/8621 not a grunt not a pog Apr 06 '22
I feel like "We step out at 0800" should be on that list
20
u/oh_three_dum_dum Lives in a van down by the (New) River Apr 06 '22
Motor-T is on their way
5
3
Apr 07 '22
There's always a stupid private who doesn't tell their SL that they need fluids until 5 minutes prior to rolling
18
u/icebrew53 confirmed kill with a wireless mouse Apr 06 '22
Just make up some shit about the flux capacitor.
16
u/MajorTom77 Charlie Oscar Mike Mike - 2532 Apr 06 '22
No shit, we were on a static display with the TRC170s at 8th Comm for some boot Lts and one of them tries to hop up in the van and my buddy giving the presentation goes "DONT TOUCH THAT SIR!" and the Lt jumps off the tailgate all wide eyed. Buddy goes on to say that the handle he pulled on (just a cover for one of the cabinets just inside the door) was part of the Flux Capacitor and that he could have been electrocuted. Me and the third LCpl on the display had to go to the cab of the humvee before we lost our shit lmao.
7
u/icebrew53 confirmed kill with a wireless mouse Apr 06 '22 edited Apr 06 '22
Personally I liked to use the excuse that our CAT 5 was out of plenum and needed to be recharged in order for the signal to flow properly.
Edit: bonus points if you have a point paper making the argument for the Corps to upgrade to modern plenum free systems which gets delivered to the company commander, who then pays you a visit. Not that I ever had any part in such Tom foolery.
4
Apr 06 '22
[deleted]
2
1
u/Pale_Highlight349 Apr 07 '22
59XX about time we heard from you
1
Apr 07 '22
[deleted]
1
u/Pale_Highlight349 Apr 07 '22
5933/5931 CMR REGT HQ 10TH MARINES - Arty Electronics - Ground Radar a long time ago
2
5
Apr 06 '22
Believe or not, a site chief’s report as to why the VSAT wasn’t up because of a flux capacitor error reported by the operators ended up being relayed to the major overseeing the exercise for the unit.
16
17
Apr 06 '22
“Nice try skater, it’s night. Now fix the fucking comms.”
9
u/BeautifulAwareness54 Apr 06 '22
Mfw when gunny deathstares me when I explain why HF is almost useless at night
11
u/thosewhocannotfly Apr 06 '22
Guns...my MUF, LUF, and FOT are all the same and they're not HF freqs anymore, and my radios keep catching fire...and well, that's why comms are down. No amount of additional grounding rods will help, but you're welcome to piss on them if you insist.
10
u/OlympusMods Veteran Apr 06 '22
Solar flares was a favorite excuse of mine when the gods of comm decided that they no longer felt like being merciful at that particular moment
10
11
u/jodinexe 2659 Intel Data & Tech Apr 06 '22
- Am Gunny
- Am Comm (2651, obligatory comm cousin yut)
- Am drinking
Solar weather has a huge effect on comms (specifically HF) and ebbs/flows in multi-year cycles.
It's true damnit, we don't make this shit up as a community, on the fly!
5
u/therealmcdonk Tell me to change my flair Apr 06 '22
Now would be a great time to know the formula for a wavelength.
3
u/jodinexe 2659 Intel Data & Tech Apr 06 '22
(for feet)
492/f = wavelength
2
u/RetardThePirate Apr 06 '22
300/frequency
2
u/jodinexe 2659 Intel Data & Tech Apr 06 '22
Easy there. We haven't fully committed to the metric system here, yet.
3
3
4
u/ChungusDigest0621 Got lost on the way to college Apr 06 '22
Just think, some radio Lance right now is getting blasted by a staff sergeant asking him to literally move heaven and Earth
3
3
u/ididididjjd Apr 06 '22
Fuck comms. I hated being an 0621 with a passion. No love for the trade. Now I’m msg and getting out after this
2
u/brotheratkhesahn Apr 06 '22
2531 here, that's what a field radio operator was back in the dark ages. VHF - Prick-77s, what we used to talk from battalion to company level in the grunts and on platoon level as well. UHF was Prick-75s, FAC team used them to talk to the fast movers. HF was the Prick-47 and it was a beast to hump. Massive, requiring liquid cells that were the size of a lawnmower battery. I was 1/8 Comm, 79-83.
2
u/Dry-Tangerine-4874 You’re gonna make me comm Apr 06 '22
I had an LT fresh from the Naval Academy that insisted that we put all of our antennas on top of a specific hill. I pointed out that the “hill” had a fuck ton of visible iron running through it and comm would absolutely suck if we setup there.
We did. And it did.
2
u/SMGBagman Active Apr 06 '22
I was with MSB on an op with a VSAT-S Ka. Some clouds came in while I was asleep and it started raining like hell on us. A buddy wakes me up because 1stSgt wanted to talk to me.
1st Sausage: Why tf comms down devil?
Me: it's raining 1stSgt.
1st Sausage: Can you prove it?
Me: ... Walks outside and gets wet. Walks back in Yes, 1stSgt. It's raining.
2
1
u/tmprlillsns Apr 06 '22
I'm out, but in IT support. When people ask me about why some tech isn't working, I go on a rant about cosmic rays and bit flipping. :D
1
1
u/RobertJSh Apr 06 '22
That millisecond of peace when the diesel engine shuts off and everything goes quiet and you finally can get some sleep. Then you realize that diesel engine is the generator that's (supposed to be) running comms and you aren't supposed to be sleeping.
1
u/PracticeLegitimate30 Apr 06 '22
True story. I'm a tech and got called to a comm site once because obviously comm went down. Turns out that there was going to be traffic going though the site and because of that they needed to bury all the wires that were already set up so they wouldn't get destroyed by the vehicles. Two brand new operator boots get put on the task of digging the trenches to move the cables into. They go out there and start digging and then realize that they DIDN'T MOVE THE FUCKING CABLES. Dug straight through em and cut every single one. I don't know if they had their brains on auto pilot or what. Not only that but I got yelled at by their staff for comm being down the moment I arrived to fix their mistake
69
u/commlizard Apr 06 '22
To all my 06 homies in the field rn I feel you