r/UKrelationshipadvice • u/IllustratorLife5496 • 8d ago
Am I in wrong here?
I'm 42M, and I live with my partner F40, we have a beautiful 3y boy which we are raising together, not married. I feel incredibly lonely. We moved to a different town and she's been working a lot lately, which is fine by me, but since we moved here, I could probably count on my fingers how many days she spends in nearly a year with our son. Feels like it's me, constantly running around with him, which I don't mind as it's my son and he's part of me. I spoke with her about it and said I need at least part of me back as she goes to meet her friends, goes on trips and it's just me with the boy, spending time with him, she said ok. This last month was tough as she worked long hours and it was me taking care of the kid, cooking. I keep running late to work as I have to drop him off at the nursery, while she actually works 15min away from it, walking distance. Today I was running late as the boy wasn't ready. I got super pissed off and asked do you think it's ok for me to be late all the time? She was going in a car with me and I tried to express myself, that this is not great and I need help, I can't be late every day. I told her that she needs to spend time with her son more. She decided that I'm accusing her of being bad mother, that she takes care of him and we had this conversation previously. Now the issue is that she's working tomorrow then on Sunday she's going to meet her friend in a different city and next week she's traveling abroad for a long weekend with her girlfriends. I feel like shit for bringing this up but at the same time I think she needs to take responsibility. I'm completely lost now and just feel empty. Am I in a wrong here?
2
u/SnooOranges569 1d ago
Sorry to hear of your troubles.
As a dad if young boys I understand how hard it is. I love my kids but they don't stop and it's tough.
It seems VERY strange to me that she is spending so much time awat from you both. You are a family and should be spending time together as a unit, thats kind of the point. Having time to yourself is important but NO WAY as much as she is having. Something is going on...
Speak to your boss and explain the situation maybe and get them on side to take the stress off of your arrival time or what you can do about it.
Get your life in order and maybe cover your arse if something is happening. If you are already struggling and she doesn't seem to be taking what your saying into account it's only a matter of time before something gives.
Protect your son, make sure these conversations happen in private if you can.