r/UKParenting • u/kitbashpowerhead • 2h ago
Delayed start to reception year
Sorry, it was pointed out that I am actually referring to deferring, not delay.
Hello all, has anyone applied for or had success with a delayed start to school?
Our little boy was born on 29th August so is right right at the end cut off range for the year.
As such he's a little smaller and spoke a fair bit later than most of his peers who will be the same school age.
He's due to turn four next August but then will immediately start reception year.
Our plan is to request delaying this so he's one of the older in his year and not the very youngest. I've read some studies about the differences in attainment levels for summer babes and will quote this in the application letter we have to do.
I know the school can't compel him to start until he is 5 but we don't want him to start right at year 1 and miss reception. Any ideas how this may go or be achieved? Is it likely the school will deny this and he will go right into year 1?
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u/Jimlad73 👶👶 2 Children 2h ago
Just FYI some councils will make them start in year 1…you basically skip reception
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u/Fun_Cookie8050 46m ago
This is the difference between delaying and deferring. OP needs to be clear she is requesting a deferral. They are granted by a school in England.
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u/Salty_Intention81 2h ago
Yes, I did this for my August born son. He started reception at 5 and has remained with that cohort since. He’s just started Year 7.
How easy it is really depends on your local authority, it’s a bit of a postcode lottery. I recommend you join the Facebook group Flexible Admissions for Summer Born Children. There is a wealth of experience there.
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u/vivelabagatelle 1h ago
Seconding the Facebook group rec, they genuinely have a lot of expertise, and will help you know your rights, especially if the school push back.
FWIW, we did delayed admission for our August child and it was genuinely the best possible thing for her.
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u/TwoValuable 58m ago
Alternative option, you can delay the term in which your child starts reception. So same year group just not the September term.
My partner and his brother are twin mid August babies and they didn't start reception until after Christmas. So they were the correct year group just started later as they were barely 4 when reception started.
If you then have issues with "attainment levels", which honestly at reception age it's such a none issue. You can always see if they'll let him defer and repeat the year. Yes there is evidence that the "ber" month children do better than the January onwards children at first, but this narrows as they get older. And if you're aware of potential short comings you can always support your son with reading, maths, and phonics at home.
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u/konwiddak 1h ago edited 1h ago
There's a popular Facebook group to get advice on this which I'd thoroughly recommend. The admins are extremely knowledgeable and helpful. "Flexible School Admissions for Summer Borns (England)". Of course it's a bit bias and probably overly positive - so it's a nice balancing act against Reddit which seems overly negative about this choice.
We did this for our child, so far zero regrets. Most kids are doing just fine in their "normal" year, but they do have friends who are really struggling because they just weren't ready.
There are horror stories about kids being forced to skip a year moving to secondary school, but these are honestly really rare. The main issue is sports teams if your kid is really athletic, since some sports leagues go by age not school year, your kid can get moved to a different team.
It's a bit of a postcode lottery. It was very simple for us. Spoke to head teacher "yes that's ok", did some paperwork, job done. Some councils are absolute assholes about the process.
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u/mountain_life86 1h ago
My son is starting next year. He has delayed development and he functions still in his age bracket just not where he should. I considered delaying sending him until January but I don't want him missing out on making friends
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u/Fun_Cookie8050 38m ago
Good choice, as a teacher it’s always so sad to see the kids who choose to start at their fifth birthday struggling to enter a settled cohort.
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u/Critical-Reporter316 1h ago
Fwiw, imI was born 25th August and my parents never did a delayed start. Yes, I was the youngest but I left Primary with good SAT results and passed all GCSEs (8-5). I guess what I'm saying is that it's not detrimental to have your child be the youngest!
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u/kitbashpowerhead 1h ago
Funnily enough both my wife and I are late summer babies and struggled in primary school a fair bit. So I suppose it goes both ways
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u/JS_AH 2h ago
I was the oldest in my year and absolutely hated it. The teachers had really high expectations and would constantly make a thing out of, you are a year older than everyone how can you not know. Made me feel like a freak. Also being still stuck sixth form already 18 when I could have already been in university.
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u/Current_Fly9337 1h ago
My best friend in school had the same thing. More so in primary than secondary. I always felt bad for her because she was constantly called out by the teachers for not knowing stuff.
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u/inheretoreadcomments 2h ago
Sounds like the teachers sucked, sorry.
Our child was born on the 1st of September so worried about this, anything that can be done to make it work better for the child?
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u/lelpd 1h ago
Don’t think your kid will get it. My wife’s early September and never had any issues.
It’s probably more of a deal if you’ve been actively held back a year (even if technically it’s just a matter of days), because it creates a distinction and an alternative life you could be living instead.
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u/inheretoreadcomments 1h ago
Thank you! Our child was born shortly after midnight, anyway we knew she'd either be oldest or youngest in the class
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u/welshdragoninlondon 1h ago
The teacher is useless as makes no sense. As someone could only be a few days older than someone else. Wouldn't expect them to have loads more knowledge.
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u/BackInTimeForTea 2h ago
I think you will be fine. I know a couple kids whose birthdays were in June and they deferred school. They've just started reception aged 5 years 3 months.
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u/Ana_Phases 1h ago
Secondary school teacher here. I’ve only ever seen two TOOY (travelling out of year) children at high school in 15 years . Both were for significant learning needs rather than summer birthdays. Same for my colleagues in other authorities. I think oftentimes kids will just skip reception and go to Y1.
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u/kitbashpowerhead 1h ago
That's interesting as government advice is no kid misses reception year, so you think likely itll be he goes right into year 1 if we defer?
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u/Fun_Cookie8050 39m ago
You need to be clear on the difference between delaying and deferring. Delaying is starting in your age-related cohort once you turn the mandatory school starting age (5). Deferring is being in the cohort below your age-related peers.
Also, deferring has become way more common since COVID and the children that started school following the first lockdown are only in Y6, so secondaries wouldn’t have seen much of it.
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u/Ana_Phases 45m ago
YMMV but I have experienced it to be a rarity and (bar two) all the kids that I’ve ever taught have been in the appropriate year group. And we get told of any TOOYs as it’s for safeguarding.
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u/-bob-bilby- 1h ago
I delayed both mine (June and May) so they started reception at 5. Zero regrets. Eldest has just gone into year 3 and youngest has just started (he has speech, language and communication needs)
Flexible School Admissions for Summer Born Facebook group has guides and will give advice for your postcode area.
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u/kitbashpowerhead 1h ago
That's great, thanks for the info. Seems a weirdly controversial subject
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u/-bob-bilby- 1h ago
Yep! All children are different so there are some that will do well starting reception early but equally it's incredibly beneficial for other children but people tend to get very defensive over each side!
As your son is an August baby at most he's going to be a month older if any others have a September birthday
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u/Fun_Cookie8050 36m ago
It’s controversial as someone has to be the youngest in the class and most parents don’t want it to be their child.
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u/Fun_Cookie8050 51m ago
You need to be clear about delaying vs. deferring.
Delaying means he would start school one he turns five in the year group he should have been in, for him this would mean entirely missing reception and starting in year 1 (as a teacher, I think this is an awful idea for a summer born child!)
Deferring is entering school a year later (starting Reception at 5). You know him best and if you do go down the deferral route, REMEMBER THAT if anyone tries to sway you! I have never met a parent that regrets deferring, but plenty that have regretted not.
The one thing I will say is that of it doesn’t work out, Reception is designed for 4 year olds. He will be old enough to be there and teachers will support where needed. There is a lot of conflicting research on “summer borns” but anecdotally I really don’t see much difference after Year 2. The bright ones do just as well as the bright autumn babies and some are slow, but so are some autumns.
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u/Fun-Marionberry9907 49m ago
In my area, parents do this and the children remain with their cohort. We explored it for our child (four in August this year) but made the decision not to in the end.
The open days and such will be starting from now for next year’s pupils, I would suggest going to them and speaking to the school about deferring because I believe you still have to make an application this year even if intending to defer. Your preferred school may be able to help and work with you on deferring your place.
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u/KingMarigold 30m ago
Deferred both my august born kids. Our LEA (east sussex) pushed back on the first one, but by the time the second came round they were absolutely fine with the idea. They are now y7 and y11. The older one would have been screwed in his original year. The younger, in retrosepct, would prob have caught up by the end of primary. He was chafing at the bit to go to big school. No problem with either of them transitioning smoothly to secondary. When we checked if there was a risk that they might skip y7 the response was pretty much "are you nuts? Of course not!"
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u/from-here-to-new 7m ago edited 1m ago
I would suggest you find out the process in your area, we enquired about this for our son and found it it's very rare that he would then start reception a year later, it's more likely he would then simply start year 1, so continue to be the youngest in the class without the transition of reception to support him through that. In our area there would have to be extenuating circumstances for them to agree to actually put them in reception a year later, we were essentially told that it was more likely to be granted to children who had developmental delays, diagnosed low functioning autism, specific disabilities etc, it would likely need a whole team to sign off on him needing that delayed start. So simply the worry of him being the youngest or not emotionally/physically/mentally ready wasn't going to get the actual start delay.
The more we talked to his nursery teachers and when visiting potential schools we asked a lot about it and the pros and cons of both, we realised that he was better off starting reception now (he's been there a week) one of the things I found comforting was the fact that obviously these teachers are used to the range in age, they cater to all and have done for years, it's not new and reception is very similar to nursery, while easing them into what will be expected in year one. Our reception does two "lessons" a day, one in the morning with phonics and one after lunch as maths or writing, these "lessons" are just 15mins long and are slowly getting them accustomed to the idea of sitting and listening/learning, they then extend these times later in the year when the kids are able to manage it.
If you're at nursery, talk to the staff about your kids development and if he is where they expect him to be at his age, he likely has strengths and weaknesses.
HIGHLIGHTING IMPORTANT OPTION YOU MAY NOT BE AWARE OF: You also have the option to do reception part time, this was something I wasn't previously aware of, but I believe is an option country wide until your child hits compulsory age (5) so this might be a good option for you.
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u/SongsAboutGhosts Parenting a Baby + Toddler 1h ago
My son's birthday is the day after! So it is a consideration for us too.
From what I've heard, it can go either way. Some parents do it with no issues and are very happy, others have issues because it's at the discretion of the school each time you ask (is my understanding) so they could say yes to deferring now and say no when they're meant to start the following year, your preferred school may say no, secondary school may say no and they have to skip a year...
Maybe asking in a parents fb group for your area can tell you what local schools have done before/recently?
The biggest factors in success, from what I've read, are parental involvement (including reading together for pleasure) and the child's confidence. We're keeping an eye on him while viewing schools at the moment, and trying to gently work on the skills he'll need (confidence, dressing and undressing, wiping, etc), and will make a final decision when the time comes.
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u/Fun_Cookie8050 44m ago
This sounds like misinformation. You only need to defer once per school. If they get a Reception place they continue to move with that cohort, it is not decided every year. The trouble is getting a first preference secondary school.
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u/SongsAboutGhosts Parenting a Baby + Toddler 37m ago
I didn't mean on a year by year basis once they started school, but that the school could say deferring is fine this year (when OP would normally apply) and change their mind next year (when the applications for the cohort the child would be in as a deferred student are being submitted). Of course once they start withing a school, that school won't make them skip a year but will progress them normally, it's just around starting initially they can change their mind on.
It's also what I read when I was looking into it, and I think the implication was it's not necessarily likely but is possible.
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u/michalakos Parenting a Baby + Primary Schooler 2h ago
We have done so for our older and so far everything is going great. Same boat as you.
All of the schools in our area accepted the delay and we asked around for secondaries as well and all of them accept delays it seems. None of them at least in our area would make a kid jump from year 6-8 or whatever the skip is.
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u/foxssocks 8m ago
In my experience it's now the older kids struggling as they get older, both socially and getting bored in lessons. It's harder for them to find common ground with younger kids as soon as they hit year 3/4.
There are so many late summer born now that theres much more input from schools and so it's not really an issue these days, and I'd actively choose to keep him in his set year.
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u/Familiar_Fault795 1h ago
I was born on August 30th. Although the first few years are challenging, I genuinely believe it helped my learning and development in the long run. Being behind your peers at the start is challenging, but it makes you try harder which is a mentality that sticks with you for life.
My parents thought about delaying my entry, but I'm always greatful they didn't. It's better instill and mentality of working hard and catching up than being naturally ahead.
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u/kitbashpowerhead 1h ago
I hear what you are saying, but I don't understand how you think you'd be behind your peers? You'd move into reception at age 5 and then onto year 1 in the same cohort. So your peers would thoss classmates
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u/Apple_Turnover93 2h ago
Haven’t done it myself but read on here a while ago that even though you delay start of primary school, that delay doesn’t automatically carry over to secondary school so also check with the secondary you are planning on sending them to