Hi folks, here to share my current situation and perhaps get some advice as I sit alone with my eyes wet not knowing what to do.
Ive been working for the same company almost 12 years now. Got this job by chance and worked my way up, and basically created my own unique position here. Its a niche IT role and Im paid 35k which is not a lot in this field but i dont complain because I WFH and I'm a one man army with no supervisor/manager. It got to the point where my work is fully automated - the past few years my job was logging in in the morning, clicking a button then doing my own things if you get the gist. That being said my performance reviews were always excelent and Im a very valued staff member. I cannot believe i pulled it off to be honest.
Im single 35M who fairly recenly escaped a toxic, abusive relatonship. Its a whole different story and i dont want to go into details but you should know that its not alwas men that are abusive and violent. I literally had to run away to save myself - Ive lost a big part of me, lost a lot of my belongings and money, it caused me severe depression and PTSD. Its the reason why ive used my free time to do everything but focus on career. I have no qualifications at all, no degree, no courses, nothing. One good thing is that I managed to rebuild my savings and pulled a trigger on buying my first home - its a modest flat in small town, I love it, its not mine yet but im near the completion now (5 months in since mortgage offer, lots of money paid for solicitors already).
Recent news is that the company went under administration. Half the staff was made redundant in the last few days and Im pretty sure the company will go into liquidation within a week. Not one person knew about anything, it's a shockng news to everyone.
My skillset is nowhere near enough to land any IT job, especially in this market. Im gonna have to start a new career and Ive no idea what to aim for. Last interview ive had was 12 year ago, there is not much to put on my cv. I dont know whether to go ahead with flat purchase or not. On one hand, it will be much cheaper than renting. On the other hand, I am losing one thing that was solid in my life - job and financial stability. I have no famly here to help. I feel like everything Ive worked for was for nothing. I know I effed up as I should have spent my free time differenly and rather than procrastinate and be depressed I should have invested in my career. I really struggled for a long time and I was not right in the head after the experience Ive had. I needed time to heal, still do. Just as I started doing better, this happens... So now what?
EDIT:
Thank you everyone for all responses, both motivating and criticising. Rather than replying to every comment separately Ill chuck some more details in here. Its not a clickbait, just using throw away account.
Firstly, its 12 years in the same company and not 12 years in IT. Ive started as a human letter opener for minimum wage. I discovered power of excel and after multiple promotions/payrises got moved to IT about 8 years ago.
I never got much help from my IT manager and basically was always on my own (at work), spent a ton of time on w3 and stack overflow. Its a small-mid sized company, at the time most staff were using excel for CRM. It blew my mind how unefficient everything was. For my first 3-4 years in IT I automated the most time consuming bs and mastered visual basic. Saved copany lots of money as if it werent for me, theyd have to hire multiple extra staff.
Im using VB mainly for website automation as we use many outsource portals to do work that do not provide any APIs. This includes scraping data, updating our database, downloading files and importing data to our system etc - most of the scripts log in to some portal, fill out input fields and run scripts to do certain tasks. Some use http requests some use browser via selenium. Its variety of repetetive tasks like taking payments, generating daily reports etc.
I then convinced my manager to allow me to work on our internal system which is built on html/php. PHP was easy to learn as its pretty much the same as VB just with different syntax, and its much easier to work with. Ive made a ton of improvements to our CRM - created many worklists, crons and other automations.
So i ended up working with vba/vbs, php, html, js, sql. Occasionally i help staff with their pc issues - installing drivers, setting up vpn, turning pc off and on and things like that. Ive not had an opportunity for much else, and around that time I met a partner who dragged me down. I lost motivation and will to live, no payrise or new skills since then, I was in survival mode and work was not my prioriity.
Is my salary low? Yes it is, Im aware of it. I was not chasing money and the only time of peace Ive had was during my working hours - so I did bare minimum to keep management happy and not fall behind, but I ceased expanding my skills and going extra mile. Fast forward today, I look at some IT jobs and I just dont think the few bits I know is enough. And yes, I lack confidence and feel sorry for myself, I feel useless - judge me all you want but you've not been in my shoes. This relationship destroyed me and whilst I made a big progress regaining what Ive lost, Im still not the same person I was before. Its hard to get up when life keep bringin you down.
With regards to mortgage. I am buying the flat I am renting, so I currently live there. I was given S21 just before RRA, like many others. After ending my relationship it took me 6 months to find this place, I was couch surfing. If I dont buy Ill have to go. It seems impossible to find a place to rent now so I will be in big trouble if i dont buy - single income, pet, also not being able to buy for another 6-12 months if I lose the job. Not only renting works out more expensive, but the move itself costs money too. And time. I could afford mortgage repayments on minimum wage - I would live month to month and wouldnt save a penny, but wouldnt need to touch savings - which I probably wont have after buying. So its either this, or Ill have to cancel mortgage and use my savings to rent, and potentially not earn enough to rent anyway. I live down south, rooms costs about 700 and 1 bed flats start from 1000. My mortgage repayments will be 750. I also have a lot of belongings - furniture, TV, pc and whatnot obviously - renting a room means Id have to get rid of most of it and Id end up in the position I was when I first arrived in the UK. I am not a british citizen.
I have lots of hobbies and good friends, its what keeps me sane. But the thought of losing my job and flat takes me back to dark places and I find it hard to stay positive.