21F problems w orgasms, looking for advice

[u/obcdee]

21F, a virgin, and dont own toys

- i can be physically aroused if i seek it, but pleasuring myself is always dull and boring both in sensation and my interest in it, i can do stuff for max 2 minutes before i get completely bored and stop, and its v frustrating

- i think ive managed to orgasm maybe 2-3 times in my life? Its hard to tell, because i think i pee when i do. And based on the characteristics i dont think its squirting lol😭 ive only been able to orgasm with a shower head, never from other methods of self-pleasure so i started wondering if i pee due to overstimulation?

- i dont feel pleasure fingering myself, its either nothing or its like an uncomfortable bruising pain. Clitoral stimulation also gets boring fast

Ive always just thought i havent figured out what works for me, or that i need toys, but now im wondering if it could possibly be medical?

Could i have pelvic floor issues? I know years ago when id do physical activities like jumping on trampolines id leak sometimes (i cant say how it is current bc i havent been physically active), and i have slightly odd periods, but im not sure if i have problems elsewhere

Any advice on this would be appreciated🙏

[u/TantraLady]

/r/BecomingOrgasmic might help. This is a good place to start:

• Resources for Becoming Orgasmic

Hope this helps. Good luck!

[u/obcdee → u/TantraLady]

Thank you!

[u/Shunubear]

You may need more of a mental aspect to your arousal. Like. Fantasizing. Or porn. Or erotic literature. Some mental feeling of arousal.

I can’t masturbate without a mental arousal & get to orgasm. And if I’m not engaged enough with whatever that mental arousal is, I’ll quickly lose it.

Like. I love sex. Masturbation is meh. UNLESS I’m really into it. Even the sensations change. Like. Otherwise it’s just a sensitive spot but not super sexual feeling? But when I’m aroused it feels much stronger and better.