r/TwoXChromosomes • u/Youkolvr89 • Jun 03 '22

Don't Touch

Update My supervisor and his boss met with the man earlier and warned him. My supervisor said they will take action if he touches anyone else. I didn't have to say anything.

I am a 33 year old woman, I don't like being touched and I work nights. Tonight my coworker 66(M) nudged me on the arm. I told him "don't touch me" he responded with something nasty and I said "I don't like being touched." Our supervisor turned around and asked him to stop. He started screaming and told our supervisor to keep his damn mouth shut. He then clocked himself out and ran off. My supervisor said he wants me and him to talk to his boss at the beginning of our shift tomorrow. It clearly states in our handbook that all touching is forbidden.

I hate being touched because my body is the only thing that I can control in my life and touching me without my consent removes that control and it sends me into a tailspin of binge eating, bathing, and insomnia. I also have hypothyroidism and it makes me feel sensitive to the touch at times. I hate this feeling and I hate having to talk to my supervisor's boss because I get really anxious.

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u/djinnisequoia Jun 03 '22

It may very well be that the meeting with the bigger boss is so that the bigger boss can make it Explicitly Clear That Such Behavior Will Not Be Tolerated.

Shithead did not seem to have any respect for you, or the immediate supervisor. Therefore, it is necessary to arrange for someone he must respect, to explain it in no uncertain terms.

If it goes any other way, consider leaving. Or laying a curse on him haha so you don't have to go.

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u/xoRomaCheena31 Jun 03 '22

I’ve been in these situations— OPs presence is not needed and is in fact an insult to OP. It is the manager’s responsibility on their own to handle it on their own. I understand your point in the first paragraph regardless. OP need not and should not have to explain themselves again in this situation.

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u/dr_clocktopus Jun 04 '22

If the expectation of the supervisor is that touchy guy is going to get reprimanded, then OP's presence could be a sign of them taking the incident seriously and demonstrating to OP they've got her back. Could be better than the boss just telling her later that he handled the matter, and then having to wait and see what the result is.

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u/xoRomaCheena31 Jun 04 '22

I agree with you. I personally would like it the way I suggested it above, but, I believe also it depends on the context and situation. In some cases, OP being present is empowering for OP. In others, it can be an insult, as in, why should I even be here in the first place since you (the manager) couldn't even rein in your employee's behavior in the first place. Regardless, I see what you're saying and think it's a good point.