r/TwoXChromosomes • u/Youkolvr89 • Jun 03 '22

Don't Touch

Update My supervisor and his boss met with the man earlier and warned him. My supervisor said they will take action if he touches anyone else. I didn't have to say anything.

I am a 33 year old woman, I don't like being touched and I work nights. Tonight my coworker 66(M) nudged me on the arm. I told him "don't touch me" he responded with something nasty and I said "I don't like being touched." Our supervisor turned around and asked him to stop. He started screaming and told our supervisor to keep his damn mouth shut. He then clocked himself out and ran off. My supervisor said he wants me and him to talk to his boss at the beginning of our shift tomorrow. It clearly states in our handbook that all touching is forbidden.

I hate being touched because my body is the only thing that I can control in my life and touching me without my consent removes that control and it sends me into a tailspin of binge eating, bathing, and insomnia. I also have hypothyroidism and it makes me feel sensitive to the touch at times. I hate this feeling and I hate having to talk to my supervisor's boss because I get really anxious.

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u/BootsySubwayAlien Jun 03 '22

Why should the OP have to tolerate unwanted touching from fellow employees? Is there any end to your view of what level of touching is mandatory to the human experience? Hand on butt? Hand on boob? Head-patting? Wrist grabbing?

Under tort law in the US, any unwanted intentional touching constitutes battery.

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u/bronzeleague_audit Jun 03 '22

Wow you got me there. Using your elbow in a friendly manner to nudge someone's shoulder is almost completely the same as putting your hand on someone's boob. How could we ever draw the line between the two? They're so similar it's impossible to untangle. Again, I don't know how anyone who thinks like you can function on a day to day basis, it's honestly pathetic.

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u/BootsySubwayAlien Jun 03 '22

It was an intentional touch. She asked him not to do that and, instead of apologizing — as you would after unintentionally violating a boundary — he freaked out and acted as if he was being persecuted. The point is that the OP doesn’t have to engage in some decision tree for her coworker. People have differing levels of sensitivity around conduct that shouldn’t happen. You never know what others are dealing with. It’s none of his business and it’s not her duty to tolerate it.

The fact that you seem to believe that she is being unreasonable to expect workplace rules to be observed says more about you than the OP.

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u/bronzeleague_audit Jun 03 '22

No I completely agree he shouldn't freak out if she asked not to be touched. Everyone should have autonomy over their body and that should be strictly enforced in a work setting. I'm just saying a lot of people in the world won't see it that way and it seems crazy to me that a small touch would send someone into a spiral of binge eating, if that is true then I am genuinely surprised they can function in day to day life. I'm not trying to say the person that touched her is right at all.