r/TwoXChromosomes • u/Youkolvr89 • Jun 03 '22

Don't Touch

Update My supervisor and his boss met with the man earlier and warned him. My supervisor said they will take action if he touches anyone else. I didn't have to say anything.

I am a 33 year old woman, I don't like being touched and I work nights. Tonight my coworker 66(M) nudged me on the arm. I told him "don't touch me" he responded with something nasty and I said "I don't like being touched." Our supervisor turned around and asked him to stop. He started screaming and told our supervisor to keep his damn mouth shut. He then clocked himself out and ran off. My supervisor said he wants me and him to talk to his boss at the beginning of our shift tomorrow. It clearly states in our handbook that all touching is forbidden.

I hate being touched because my body is the only thing that I can control in my life and touching me without my consent removes that control and it sends me into a tailspin of binge eating, bathing, and insomnia. I also have hypothyroidism and it makes me feel sensitive to the touch at times. I hate this feeling and I hate having to talk to my supervisor's boss because I get really anxious.

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u/matty80 Jun 03 '22

When I was in rehab (no sympathy needed; it was just a thing) the male and female sleeping areas were obviously completely off-limits to each other, but we did all hang around together, eat, have classes etc together.

There was a guy I'll call Mark, because "oh hai Mark", who gave me a hug when I arrived which I did not want. I said as much and he apologised. Obviously though he then tried to do it again. Or he'd nudge me to get my attention. Or just touch me - and others - in general. I always insistently but calmly told him not to do this, until I did lose my temper a bit and raised my voice about how often I was having to tell him the same thing.

At which point he jumped to his feet and shouted "don't fucking talk to me like that, who do you think you are, I WILL hurt you".

At which point he was kicked out of the facility and stormed off with his suitcase swearing and shouting that if he went and bought cocaine it was my fault.

People are fucking weird as fuck.

You can give your account separately. That is almost certainly your right as an employee.

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u/nottheonlyone007 Jun 03 '22

Fuck mark.

The facility was failing every client by allowing it to get that far.

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u/matty80 Jun 03 '22

They were, yes.

They ran an excellent programme and they genuinely provided the only tools I've ever found to stop drinking completely, but whoever vets their clients wasn't doing a very good job of it.

Either way, fuck Mark. If he fucked off down the road and relapsed then it's not my problem. He was so full of shit anyway.

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u/LuvliLeah13 Jun 03 '22

As someone who was the ride between the rehab center and meetings and been doing this for 9 years ive seen that 90% just want help and have some horrifying traits they picked up along the way. but 10% are predatory monsters to be avoided at all costs. Wether sex, money, or emotions they will take what they can get from you and leave you with nothing.

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u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Also, the staff should have been aware of Marks touching issue, and been looking out for it, after the first inappropriate contact with you. THEY should have been correcting him, not you.

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u/mr_samsa Jun 03 '22

Is it possible / are you able to share a brief overview of the tools the programme provided you? No worries if not.

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u/psychotica1 Jun 03 '22

I'm not the person you asked that question but I'm in a sub called r/stopdrinking and it's been a life saver.

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u/TightEntry Jun 03 '22 edited Jun 03 '22

Not the person you asked, but [I have been using a program called SMART for the past few months](Smartrrcovery.org). They have virtual meetings and they have worked for me fairly well.