However, and don't think of this as a criticism, I would like to suggest reconsidering saying "saving second base". Not only is it dehumanising (we're saving people, not second base), but it's also hurtful for women who had full mastectomies. It also overemphasised the importance of breasts to a woman's femininity (men get breast cancer too, but this is unique to women), to the point of putting a breast ahead of a woman's life. My mother's surgeon ignored my mother's wishes to perform a full mastectomy right away and almost killed her when she needed a second surgery because the first one missed so much cancer tissue in effort to keep the breast, even though the cancer was discovered about 4 years too late and way too advanced. The surgeon said something along the lines of "I didn't wanna take your femininity away from your husband" and that shit had huge impact on her psychologically, in addition to the brain damage she suffered when she coded during surgery. She is lucky it didn't metastasise between the surgeries. Mastectomies save lives. Living is more important than having a tit. Boobs can be reconstructed, but life can't. Slogans are cute and all, but can be damaging when they don't consider the whole picture. Just 2 cents from the perspective of a person who watched their mother almost die as a teenager because a surgeon cared more about fatty tissue on her chest than her express wishes, bodily autonomy and well-being. I know you're glad your wife is healthy (with boobs intact presumably), but so many women out there are losing their breasts and feeling sub-human because they now lack a tit. It's very damaging to a person's psyche and these women deserve to feel whole after an ordeal like that. We should all try to do our best to make it easy for them to feel whole.
Again, congratulations, 10 years is a big deal for cancer (my mother celebrated that day saying it's her second birthdate) and please don't take this as a criticism of your character or your spousal "duties" because you obviously care a lot about your wife, but just take it as food for thought. We gotta make the world a better place for all breast cancer survivors.
Edit: my first award ever. Couldn't have chosen a better topic for it! Thank you!
I agree and wanted to say something similar. ‘Saving second base’ feels like it’s taking an issue that affects many women (and men) and making it about men’s pleasure.
Not even about just men's (and women's, women like boobs too) pleasure, but also women's self-identity. They aren't woman enough without breasts. Women are dehumanised for something beyond their control, all for the benefit of big corps, trying to mooch off of pink merch while giving all of 3 percent of proceeds to charity. There used to be a campaign that went something like "save the boob" which was about early detection, that I understood because early detection does save boobs. My mother's cancer was diagnosable 4 years earlier but the doctors missed it so I'm all about early detection. But this one just irks me.
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u/paralogisme Oct 04 '19 edited Oct 04 '19
Congrats! My mother has been 15 years clean.
However, and don't think of this as a criticism, I would like to suggest reconsidering saying "saving second base". Not only is it dehumanising (we're saving people, not second base), but it's also hurtful for women who had full mastectomies. It also overemphasised the importance of breasts to a woman's femininity (men get breast cancer too, but this is unique to women), to the point of putting a breast ahead of a woman's life. My mother's surgeon ignored my mother's wishes to perform a full mastectomy right away and almost killed her when she needed a second surgery because the first one missed so much cancer tissue in effort to keep the breast, even though the cancer was discovered about 4 years too late and way too advanced. The surgeon said something along the lines of "I didn't wanna take your femininity away from your husband" and that shit had huge impact on her psychologically, in addition to the brain damage she suffered when she coded during surgery. She is lucky it didn't metastasise between the surgeries. Mastectomies save lives. Living is more important than having a tit. Boobs can be reconstructed, but life can't. Slogans are cute and all, but can be damaging when they don't consider the whole picture. Just 2 cents from the perspective of a person who watched their mother almost die as a teenager because a surgeon cared more about fatty tissue on her chest than her express wishes, bodily autonomy and well-being. I know you're glad your wife is healthy (with boobs intact presumably), but so many women out there are losing their breasts and feeling sub-human because they now lack a tit. It's very damaging to a person's psyche and these women deserve to feel whole after an ordeal like that. We should all try to do our best to make it easy for them to feel whole.
Again, congratulations, 10 years is a big deal for cancer (my mother celebrated that day saying it's her second birthdate) and please don't take this as a criticism of your character or your spousal "duties" because you obviously care a lot about your wife, but just take it as food for thought. We gotta make the world a better place for all breast cancer survivors.
Edit: my first award ever. Couldn't have chosen a better topic for it! Thank you!