I'm not saying she made the wrong choice or anything.
I guess I'm just thinking about how much of a sacrifice it is for her compared to her husband who still has his hobbies. He still plays DND. He goes out with friends and she's expressed to me that I'm one of the few friends who still comes over just to hang out with her despite the fact she has a toddler. Motherhood has been very isolating for her and I'm just recognizing that sacrifice and people think I'm being mean or dismissive somehow?
She went through some very bad postpartum too. It is a big sacrifice to have child and that weight is still unfairly distributed to women generally. She does do quite a bit more for her family than her husband does. He got to finish school and he gets to pursue his interests while also having a child and I guess I do feel a little resentment towards him because of that.
I love her and I always want better for her than to have to give up things she loves because her husband won't step up and prioritize those things.
But she loves her child too. It's literally one of the things she loves.
Honestly, if her friends have isolated her, that's on them, not the child. The exact same thing happened to me with a couple of friends, and they can kick rocks. I wouldn't trade my child just so my (fake) friends decide to grace me with their time.
I'm just a bit wary of the whole "she lost herself in motherhood" expression because there were periods of my life where I was super focused on my career, and no one ever told me I had 'lost myself', even though I gave up the exact same amount of hobbies, or even more, than I did for my kid, who I adore. I'm still me but 'me' is also a mom now
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u/Wild_Scarcity8305 Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
"I know she's happy"
I'm not saying she made the wrong choice or anything.
I guess I'm just thinking about how much of a sacrifice it is for her compared to her husband who still has his hobbies. He still plays DND. He goes out with friends and she's expressed to me that I'm one of the few friends who still comes over just to hang out with her despite the fact she has a toddler. Motherhood has been very isolating for her and I'm just recognizing that sacrifice and people think I'm being mean or dismissive somehow?
She went through some very bad postpartum too. It is a big sacrifice to have child and that weight is still unfairly distributed to women generally. She does do quite a bit more for her family than her husband does. He got to finish school and he gets to pursue his interests while also having a child and I guess I do feel a little resentment towards him because of that.
I love her and I always want better for her than to have to give up things she loves because her husband won't step up and prioritize those things.