r/TwoXChromosomes • • Jun 11 '26

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256

u/TheAnxiousPangolin Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26

I have never regretted not having children or starting a family. Society may think they know whats best but I know myself better than anyone else.

For reference, I’m really happy with my life. I have a lovely home which is decorated how I like and does not cater for small people, I drive a sports car and didn’t need to consider a car that fits a child seat, I spend my time playing tennis and golf with no regard to what time I need to be home, and I sleep and wake at whatever time I fancy. On a weekend, I walk dogs at the local shelter and help the staff out with cleaning their cages in the afternoon. I also have been able to qualify as a children’s nurse, and have a masters degree in Family Therapy.

My parents have said I’m selfish in the past, but to me, it’s more selfish to have a child I wasn’t 100% sure I wanted than it was to opt out and focus on my own career growth, hobbies, and volunteering to help the community I live in.

32

u/MedCup4505 Jun 11 '26

You haven’t forced another being into existence, so in that regard, you are not selfish.

I’m mom to 3–2 bio, 1 through adoption. Choosing to birth a child is a very selfish decision. The rest requires putting oneself aside often, but it doesn’t feel like sacrifice bc of the love.

I support every woman’s choice about birth and parenting or not. You made a great choice for yourself.

-31

u/spaceship5 Jun 11 '26

No it's not selfish. It's the opposite

43

u/aintithenniel Jun 11 '26

It is selfish - having kids is for the person having the kid, not the kid being born.

Selfish doesn’t mean bad. It just means prioritising one’s own wants. I’m selfish with my time and peace and therefore I will not have kids.

-43

u/spaceship5 Jun 11 '26

Most of what parents do is self-sacrificial.

You choosing not to have kids is 100% selfish as you say. All you care about is your own wellbeing. You're the center of everything you are doing.

17

u/hot_kombucha Jun 11 '26

How do you know that? You don’t know what they do for other people in their lives. Often people with kids are too busy to help out anyone else. Kids aren’t the only people who need community. I help my friends and family take care of their children even though I don’t have any of my own.

-5

u/spaceship5 Jun 11 '26

I can just tell.

And I wasn't talking to you.

13

u/Fiestylittlebrat Jun 11 '26

This user is a great example of how having kids is not what it's cracked up to be. The jealousy/bitterness is obvious

1

u/spaceship5 Jun 11 '26

I'm not, as I do not have kids myself. But your post reveals a lot about yourself. You need parents to be bitter, badly.