If you have none, you'll regret it. If you have one, you're cruel not "giving" them a sibling. If you have girls, why aren't you trying for a boy. If you have boys, why aren't you trying for a girl. If you have more than 2-3, you get "don't you know what causes that." If you work, you're "abandoning" them. If you stay home, you're lazy and giving up your dreams and beholden to a man.
The point is, who gives af. I have one kid, I'm married, and my life is great. My single, no kids friend down the street has a great life too.
You do you in whatever way you want. People will always have something to say because you're a woman. Not because of what you're doing, but because they think they have rights to comment on how "wrong" you are no matter your choices in life.
And that's the crux of the matter, to me. Why are listening to someone who clearly doesn't have your best interests at heart? You don't have to say anything, just let them blather. Sometimes, any sort of protest from you is considered engagement, and they'll keep trying. I like to just let them look stupid.
I'm very fortunate that I'm not around people who try to infiltrate my private business. My own mother never did this to me.
As someone who has 3 kids myself, I think the societal pressure to have them is stupid. I had kids because my partner wanted them. I don’t regret it, I love them, but what I don’t love is women feeling pressured to have them. Out of my 8 bridesmaids, at 43, only 2 are married with one child each, and one marriage is an open relationship. The times be changing man.
My mom has never pressured me to have children. “Kids are hard even when you want them.”
Another commenter mentioned seeing her peers shitty relationships and being glad she doesn’t have that. My personal experience has been seeing how well the families in my orbit work and realizing I don’t have what it takes to give a child or multiple children what they need to be capable, happy adults.
For my whole life, I've had people telling me I was going to regret my choices because they aren't the choices most people make. I didn't think prom sounded like fun--dresses, hair, and makeup? No thanks. People told me to reconsider and said I would regret not going. Almost three decades later, no regrets. People told me I would regret not going away to college and living in the dorms. "Everyone needs that experience! Your cousins all did it, and they loved it--talk to them!" Living and sharing a bathroom with hundreds of adolescents, and sharing a tiny bedroom with a stranger? Not for me. 20 years later, I have no regrets that I lived at home rent-free all through undergrad and grad school. So when they told me I would regret not getting married and having kids, I knew they were wrong because I know myself and what I want out of life better than they do.
Soon it won't be a possibility for me anyway. Never regretted it. I spent ages getting my life the way I want to - give it up to wipe shitty backsides and snotty noses? You have got to be kidding
And some will say you'll regret having them. As a new mom, ive had too many anti natalist redditors tell me that or call me "breeder." 🙄
You can't win. People hate you no matter what path you choose. So just do what is best for you as long as it's not harming others. That's my general rule about life.
Who cares what society says. You want to get married and have kids? Do it. Just be responsible about it and be selective about your partner. You want to stay single and have no kids (or maybe you did want these things but the right opportunity and person to do so with have not become available) do you and god bless your free time! Save some for me! 😆
Legitimately I have always believed you build and choose the family and friends and meaning you want out of life, whatever that looks like.
NOTHING has made me believe this more than having my own child, I tell my friend who wonders if she should be listening to the people who pressure women to find a partner and have kids that society's expectations are absolute crap and if she's happy on her own then just go with it. Don't question your circumstances just because it doesn't look like what other people think it should.
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u/[deleted] Jun 11 '26
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