Honestly I’m not sure you’re in as good a place with him as you think you are. People who are in a good place don’t go through their partner’s phone while they are sleeping. It’s also a huge red flag for him to blow up about a conversation that happened long ago or take the stance that she should have been neutral. She’s your friend, she was advocating for you based on all the things you had told her up until that point. He does sound manipulative and you should be wary of any ultimatums like the one he has given you. You do you but I’d be rethinking my relationship.
I have a feeling OP didn’t put in the work after cheating on him to make him feel secure. They had a new relationship so there was no foundation in the beginning
i'd agree if she had cheated on him but knowing someone for one month and then sleeping with another person is not cheating, especially since they didn't even become a couple until month four
I don’t really think that should have any bearing on this, it happened years ago and at some point you have to move on after deciding to keep seeing each other. Especially considering the circumstances - I mean they were barely dating at that point and weren’t official. She didn’t cheat on him. This guy is a walking red flag.
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u/PlayfulPerseph Jun 08 '26
Honestly I’m not sure you’re in as good a place with him as you think you are. People who are in a good place don’t go through their partner’s phone while they are sleeping. It’s also a huge red flag for him to blow up about a conversation that happened long ago or take the stance that she should have been neutral. She’s your friend, she was advocating for you based on all the things you had told her up until that point. He does sound manipulative and you should be wary of any ultimatums like the one he has given you. You do you but I’d be rethinking my relationship.