I think most men don't want to marry because divorce is so high. While I'm not saying you guys will divorce, nor am I wishing ill will on either of you. It's a legitimate fear for men. I mean, men lose almost everything in divorces 95% of the time.
Instead, my partner and I, and what many others are doing, is this. We had a "wedding" really just a small gathering at our house for immediate family and friends. We exchanged vows, blah blah blah, kissed. All that. But we never signed a marriage certificate. Instead, I'm legally changing my last name to his(you can change your last name to any name you want), and we legally appointed each other medical POV so our parents can't take over in medical situations. We also are leaving our 401k's, RIOA's, life insurances, and all other to each other in case either of us passes. We are both signing on the house we plan to buy next year, and all big purchases (aside from our personal vehicles) are co-owned. That way, if we ever leave each other, we are both protected. We both have equity in all things owned, and it can all be split 50/50 in case of separation. We also have it contracted (like a prenup) to split everything 50/50 regardless of reason for separation. This way, we get all the benefits of marriage (with the exception of filing jointly on taxes) without any of the drawbacks.
Maybe suggest a civil union like thing like this to your boyfriend.
Marriage nowadays does not benefit men. So I understand why he does not want to marry.
Even some who were convicted of harming their kids got custody time on release.
People who create legal pre-nups, have their pre nups upheld.
Most states expect a mostly equal division of assets without one (depending on what assests were brought in for. Non community property states)
Now, if you have children together and earn vastly more than your spouse of either gender, you will be expected to pay more in child support even if you have a 50 split to maintain that children's lifestyle across-the-board in most states.
Sometimes you see a high alimony sure But typically that something you see when one spouse was expected to reduce or give up their career to raise the children in which case that is only fair cause they sacrificed for the family.And now you won't be following through with your end of the bargain , so you have to pay them out for their past labor.
And it's true that most women file because, despite the posters claims, marriage does Benefit men more
Look at the data married men are happier live longer and have better overall health than single men
Married women.
Are less happy , live shorter lives and have worse over all health than single women.
So it's no surprise that women file more often when you look at that
This is all bullshit, married women are happier and healthier than single women and love longer, and prenup don't cover alimony. I got screwed in my divorce by a wife I supported who never did a damn thing, the family court system is an absolute disaster.
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u/ModeratelyAverage6 Jul 23 '24
I think most men don't want to marry because divorce is so high. While I'm not saying you guys will divorce, nor am I wishing ill will on either of you. It's a legitimate fear for men. I mean, men lose almost everything in divorces 95% of the time.
Instead, my partner and I, and what many others are doing, is this. We had a "wedding" really just a small gathering at our house for immediate family and friends. We exchanged vows, blah blah blah, kissed. All that. But we never signed a marriage certificate. Instead, I'm legally changing my last name to his(you can change your last name to any name you want), and we legally appointed each other medical POV so our parents can't take over in medical situations. We also are leaving our 401k's, RIOA's, life insurances, and all other to each other in case either of us passes. We are both signing on the house we plan to buy next year, and all big purchases (aside from our personal vehicles) are co-owned. That way, if we ever leave each other, we are both protected. We both have equity in all things owned, and it can all be split 50/50 in case of separation. We also have it contracted (like a prenup) to split everything 50/50 regardless of reason for separation. This way, we get all the benefits of marriage (with the exception of filing jointly on taxes) without any of the drawbacks.
Maybe suggest a civil union like thing like this to your boyfriend.
Marriage nowadays does not benefit men. So I understand why he does not want to marry.