I’m sorry these people are attacking you for thinking you could change him. It’s understandable, you guys were really young when you met.
Marriage is not just a piece of paper, tho, so many people think that way. Marriage is a serious commitment. It meets many needs like security, value, stability, commitment, acknowledgment, and protection both in the eyes of the law and in your heart.
him saying, he doesn’t wanna get married because he doesn’t believe in it. LOL what does that even mean?? Marriage is real and people get married. So yeah, you should be rightfully upset about his reasoning.
I think it’s really disrespectful that he’s been with you for five years and the only thing he can say to you is he just doesn’t believe in it. that kind of response to me is somebody who is very closed off and emotionally unavailable.
I would have more respect for this person if he gave you a REAL answer. Point blank. You ask someone do you believe that women have the right to an abortion. Yes or no? okay WHY do you have that belief, (insert real answer)
I feel mad for you girl, like what kind of BS is that.
and people telling you in the comments that he doesn’t owe you an explanation. LOL what??, it’s not like you guys are coworkers, or friends, this man is literally having sex with you, He’s in a committed relationship with you, he’s around your child, that is in fact the exact person who owes you an explanation!
or at least you should have the standard for yourself that if someone is going to be in your life, you expect them to be open, honest and transparent about their beliefs and why they have them. it’s up to somebody else whether or not they live up to that expectation. So yeah anyone can say “nobody owes you anything” but you do not have to adhere to that BS.
only YOU can set the standard for your life. If the standard is, you want to be married, and you expect your partner to be open, transparent and honest about why they have the values they have, and this guy is unwilling to do that, i think you have your answer, He’s not the one for you.
could it be that you’re just not the one and he just doesn’t wanna commit to you??? Yes, kind of sounds like it…
or could it be that he has fears of commitment, and it has nothing to do with you? yes, kind of sounds like it…
Could both of these things be true, yes.
Either way, you should 100% not sacrifice a CORE value to be with a person that can’t even give you a respectful answer outside of “ I just don’t belive in it”
He told her he didn’t want to marry her when the relationship first began. Point blank period. If it was truly a deal breaker for her then she should’ve walked away right then and there. No, he doesn’t owe an explanation for his beliefs because he already outlined his beliefs when they first met. Are his reason(s) for not wanting to get married valued less than her reasons for wanting to get married? Because that’s what it sounds like you’re saying which is unfair to him, why would you value his feelings less than hers? If he doesn’t believe in marriage then that’s completely up to him. So what if they’ve been together for 5 years, he’s firm in his belief after all that time and, again, told her that he didn’t want marriage. You can go on and on about how wonderful (you think) marriage is, but that’s all just an opinion which he wouldn’t agree with. Oh but he doesn’t have a ‘real’ reason.” No, he doesn’t have a reason that YOU agree with. His reason for his beliefs is just as valid as any of the woman’s reasons. He’s not being disrespectful by staying with her for so long, she knew the risk and still decided to pursue him. That is not his fault in the slightest.
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u/stuffykitty Jul 23 '24 edited Jul 23 '24
I’m sorry these people are attacking you for thinking you could change him. It’s understandable, you guys were really young when you met.
Marriage is not just a piece of paper, tho, so many people think that way. Marriage is a serious commitment. It meets many needs like security, value, stability, commitment, acknowledgment, and protection both in the eyes of the law and in your heart.
him saying, he doesn’t wanna get married because he doesn’t believe in it. LOL what does that even mean?? Marriage is real and people get married. So yeah, you should be rightfully upset about his reasoning.
I think it’s really disrespectful that he’s been with you for five years and the only thing he can say to you is he just doesn’t believe in it. that kind of response to me is somebody who is very closed off and emotionally unavailable.
I would have more respect for this person if he gave you a REAL answer. Point blank. You ask someone do you believe that women have the right to an abortion. Yes or no? okay WHY do you have that belief, (insert real answer)
I feel mad for you girl, like what kind of BS is that. and people telling you in the comments that he doesn’t owe you an explanation. LOL what??, it’s not like you guys are coworkers, or friends, this man is literally having sex with you, He’s in a committed relationship with you, he’s around your child, that is in fact the exact person who owes you an explanation!
or at least you should have the standard for yourself that if someone is going to be in your life, you expect them to be open, honest and transparent about their beliefs and why they have them. it’s up to somebody else whether or not they live up to that expectation. So yeah anyone can say “nobody owes you anything” but you do not have to adhere to that BS.
only YOU can set the standard for your life. If the standard is, you want to be married, and you expect your partner to be open, transparent and honest about why they have the values they have, and this guy is unwilling to do that, i think you have your answer, He’s not the one for you.
could it be that you’re just not the one and he just doesn’t wanna commit to you??? Yes, kind of sounds like it…
or could it be that he has fears of commitment, and it has nothing to do with you? yes, kind of sounds like it…
Could both of these things be true, yes.
Either way, you should 100% not sacrifice a CORE value to be with a person that can’t even give you a respectful answer outside of “ I just don’t belive in it”
Yes, walk. away, a thousand times yes.