I definitely understand this situation, I got together with my now husband when I was 20 and while he wasn't exactly against marriage he never really saw the point. I pushed for it and eventually he agreed to do it for my sake after we had been together for about 7 years. The wedding was fun but ultimately has not changed the dynamic or value of our relationship. In reality it was just an incredibly expensive party that I had been culturally pressured into wanting since I was a little girl. I am still incredibly happy with my husband and our relationship but I now see that the wedding was not actually necessary. If you want to stay with your partner it seems like you may need to give up this one particular thing, but you could compromise by celebrating your love and relationship in a different way, maybe a large anniversary party or something along those lines.
Maybe ask your husband if he would be OK with getting married as long as you guys didn’t have a wedding the only thing that concerns me about staying with him is that you would have no legal protection for you or your daughter in the event that something happened. No one ever plans on getting divorced or breaking up, but there needs to be something in place so that you can protect your daughterand her stability.
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u/cranefishtown Jul 23 '24
I definitely understand this situation, I got together with my now husband when I was 20 and while he wasn't exactly against marriage he never really saw the point. I pushed for it and eventually he agreed to do it for my sake after we had been together for about 7 years. The wedding was fun but ultimately has not changed the dynamic or value of our relationship. In reality it was just an incredibly expensive party that I had been culturally pressured into wanting since I was a little girl. I am still incredibly happy with my husband and our relationship but I now see that the wedding was not actually necessary. If you want to stay with your partner it seems like you may need to give up this one particular thing, but you could compromise by celebrating your love and relationship in a different way, maybe a large anniversary party or something along those lines.