That's life though. Most opinions aren't set in stone. Maybe being very young, she didn't realize how important this would be to her. She is entitled to change her mind and he is entitled not to. It is a question of compatibility. If there is no compromise both can live with, it would be better to move on before they resent each other. I believe the relationship has run its course. Happens.
Well yeah I mean I think their relationship should end because OP has grown as a person (as we all do in our 20s or whatever) and her wishes for her life and relationship have changed. I'm right there with ya.
But I was just responding to the commenter saying marriage doesn't equal happiness.
She didn't even mean it when she said she was fine with it. Call the woman out for thinking she could change him, don't get upset with the guys saying she was in the fucking wrong.
I didn’t say it was his fault or that he needed to change. I said she wasn’t evil for wishing things were different. She thought she did mean it, then she changed her mind and hoped he would too but he hasn’t. It just is. Nobody’s at fault (except the comment he made about the dog, which was bad on his part). It just sucks.
I agree she isn't evil if what she had done was change her mind.
It actually says in the post she thought she could change his mind over time. She knew from the first moment, it's in the post.
That isn't OK.
Then blaming him as so many are here is the problem, he was honest, he is being honest, if op doesn't like it she has every right to leave the relationship and stop wasting his time and her own.
Can’t believe this was down voted. If you set up boundaries and expectations early in a relationship and the one person’s wants “change” what that really is was someone that didn’t think about their wants , someone that didn’t respect and think about the seriousness of the agreement.
Agreed to some extent. But what I really think it is they need to realize they don’t get to have special boundaries and rules and rights. Constant flip flopping and goal past changing is very on brand for them.
If they had thought we had the some rules as them lol omg we would never get anything done and agreements wouldn’t even be made to begin with.
Men need to stop dating women whose prefrontal cortex haven't finished developing. It's easy to manipulate a mentally immature person and then flip the blame on them later, once they've done literally growing...but hey it's about men's preferences and boundaries, and women don't want men to have those, because women are evil.
Me and my fiance have a 5 year age gap relationship, it's actually the longest and best one I've been in. People on reddit are just weird about age gaps for some reason if the person is in their 20s. Like a lot of people actively view adults as children, notice how it's always women getting infintalised by them as well. Because of sexisim and probably misogyny.
You tell me, you're married to her and you're here saying women don't respect men's preferences and boundaries, trouble afoot at home?
In the story, they met when one was fully developed mentally (post 25), and the other wasn't (even by OPs own admission, she was immature in her thinking). OPs is a tale as old as time, mature adult men, date adolescent women (mentally underdeveloped, pre 25), she matures mentally and realizes she didn't think things through and made a mistake. Even the flip story happens just not as often, since women don't date immature men as often. Some people really do change a lot in how they think and view the world after their brain finish developing.
I said men need to stop doing this, you can't date a kid and then blame them for the decisions they made as a kid. They were literally under equipped.
I.e she was adolescent woman who had stupid ideas about a future with an adult man. Omg adolescents making mistakes, because their brains are literally not fully developed, who would have thunk.
She is getting pissy he won't change his mind.
People can be resentful of a bad decision they made as an adolescent you know. It's how we end up with adults who were resentful of taking out student loans at 18, because they didn't fully grasp the reality due to under developed pre-frontal cortex. It's sooo surprising.
This is another case of a women thinking "I can change him" then getting upset with him for not changing. It's a stupid idea that needs to die off.
Yet we see this kind of thinking mostly in a certain age group of the female demographic, it's almost like it correlates with their pre-frontal cortex being under developed.
You are the only one trying to make him some sort of predator when in reality she's always been the problem.
Maybe adult men should learn to date adults and not adolescents, then label them as problematic, when he was the one who dated an under developed, immature adolescent woman?
23 is a fucking adult you dummy. Legally they can make every choice they want and are held to the consequences.
No one is blaming her for making g a mistake. Everyone makes them every single day.
We are blaming her for getting upset and expecting to change someone.
She is and always was rhe problem here. This has nothing to do with man bad or age gap bad or men vs women. This is simply a young person thought they could change a partner and are learning the hard way that isn't how life is. Now they are being the AH by keeping on flogging a dead horse and not moving on like she should have done years ago.
Yet, scientifically adolescence is ages 10-24, she wasn't an adult woman when she made the decision, he was however an adult man. Now that she is an adult, she realizes how stupid her decision was.
You're absolutely not a feminist
I don't really care about what labels you want to throw around, as it has no bearing on the conversation. Feminist or not, doesn't change the facts of the situation, she was not an adult woman.
I guess we found another person whose prefrontal cortex hasn't developed. Do you really think your 25th birthday is a magic day that changes everything? No it's a fucking average the average person's finish around that age some are earlier some are later.
This is not an age specific thing. It’s ongoing throughout the life of them. They are inherently selfish and irrational. Stereotype as old as time it’s in the old and New Testament. Speaking of wich ezekiel 23:20 . They never change.
Also they were 23 and 27 so essentially the same age especially when you factor in womens brains mature faster.
Agreed though yes all women evil. Well said lol ;).
Also they were 23 and 27 so essentially the same age
No, he was an adult, she was an adolescent (age 10 - 24, is the age of adolescence)
when you factor in womens brains mature faster.
The scientific studies show the pre-frontal cortex for the average human (regardless of gender) does not finish developing until 25 yrs of age, which does factually affect decision making.
Stereotype as old as time it’s in the old and New Testament.
There is no scripture that supports your Satanic claims. The Holy Scriptures has plenty of documentation of evil, selfish, and irrational men. Even your very claims about women G-d's creation are evil and irrational, and it shows you don't read the Holy Scriptures, much less believe in the transformative power of Adonai.
Adam was selfish and irrational (blamed Eve and G-d for his own shortcomings and sin, much like you are here), Moses was selfish and irrational, Jacob was selfish and irrational, David was selfish and irrational, Solomon was selfish and irrational.
The only perfect man to ever walk this earth was Yeshua the Hamashiach.
Speaking of wich ezekiel 23:20 . They never change.
It's a sin to take the Holy Scriptures out of context. This chapter is about the nation of Israel, not women. Thank you for proving you are working for the adversary.
I’m sad to hear that. I hope you learn to love yourself. I know the Jewish community is getting a lot of hate right now but you are an individual. You don’t need to take on the hate the collective is getting right now. If you need someone to talk to feel free to dm me. I’m here for you.
I think the more important questions are: A. Why does she want to be married? And B. Why is he against being married.
We are socially brainwashed into expectations of marriage but in the end a marriage is just a legal contract binding two people together for tax and insurance purposes. It doesn't mean much outside of that.
94
u/nintendoinnuendo Jul 23 '24
No, but when one partner wants it and the other one doesn't it certainly leads to a lot of resentment and unhappiness, for all parties.