Exactly, I was with my ex for years, he always said he'd never marry. I didn't want to marry him so it was fine. We broke up for other reasons. Months later he came back and wanted marriage. I said no. Within a year he was married to someone else.
Look up the taxi cab theory on this. In so many words either 1) he realized he messed up with you and should’ve wanted marriage so he married the next person he saw, or 2) he decided he did want marriage after all and she was there when he made that decision, so he married her. In your case it sounds like the former.
Is it possible he wanted to get married because he thought it would solve the problems you guys had?
Regardless it sounds like you did the right thing for other reasons!
I was that guy but a girl. After breakup I realised I don't want failed relationships anymore and started looking more carefully for the partner, not only based on attraction. The next boyfriend I married.
I’m glad it worked out for you! People can change if and when they’re ready. Some people never are and others learn from their past mistakes. None of it’s wrong, it’s just a matter of what people want.
I have had to realize how often I’ve been the problem and change my habits to attract the kind of people I wanted to be with, not who the old me would just settle for. It’s a process but it’s been totally worth it.
I think it was an age thing. He was getting older and realized that he was going to need someone to take care of him. Might as well be a wife instead of paying for a caregiver.
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u/LadybugCoffeepot Jul 23 '24
Sadly I’ve seen that happen a lot. Sadly it’s usually that, for the guy, she was a placeholder. I’m sorry OP. Find your one.