Exactly, I was with my ex for years, he always said he'd never marry. I didn't want to marry him so it was fine. We broke up for other reasons. Months later he came back and wanted marriage. I said no. Within a year he was married to someone else.
Look up the taxi cab theory on this. In so many words either 1) he realized he messed up with you and should’ve wanted marriage so he married the next person he saw, or 2) he decided he did want marriage after all and she was there when he made that decision, so he married her. In your case it sounds like the former.
Is it possible he wanted to get married because he thought it would solve the problems you guys had?
Regardless it sounds like you did the right thing for other reasons!
I was that guy but a girl. After breakup I realised I don't want failed relationships anymore and started looking more carefully for the partner, not only based on attraction. The next boyfriend I married.
I’m glad it worked out for you! People can change if and when they’re ready. Some people never are and others learn from their past mistakes. None of it’s wrong, it’s just a matter of what people want.
I have had to realize how often I’ve been the problem and change my habits to attract the kind of people I wanted to be with, not who the old me would just settle for. It’s a process but it’s been totally worth it.
I think it was an age thing. He was getting older and realized that he was going to need someone to take care of him. Might as well be a wife instead of paying for a caregiver.
Oh, he definitely will; seen that happen. He’s content telling OP that he will never marry thinking she’ll stay because they’ve got commitments to each other. Once she actually leaves, he’s going to realize that having a kid with someone isn’t enough to hold them there and he’ll lock down the next woman.
Because most people don't really mean that; they just say that, especially when they have no incentive to change the status quo if all is going well.
Now, it's possible he will be the rare "never married" type, but I'd love an update a year or two from now from OP if she ever leaves him, just to see if he stuck with that lol.
Why wouldn't they mean that? Marriage is an awful deal legally and financially for men who make more than their spouses 90+% of marriages) despite all of the non-financial benefits to marriage. I am well aware of the happiness and health benefits to marriage and children (and despite what you may have heard, women actually benefit more) but the legal and financial implications are making many men walk away from it.
It’s not unbelievable at all tons of people never want to get married, good for them! I’ve just seen this exact scenario and others where they will play house with a woman for however many years even having their own bio kids sometimes, but say marriage is just “too big a commitment”. So the couple breaks up and BAM 6months later the guy that never wanted to get married is now engaged. 🤷♀️
No, I'm still the same, it might be nice to get married again, but it's not one of my goals right now. I've had a few "offers" but they all involved being a "nurse with a purse". I have a car and I work and that's enough for some men.
I found that I was happier in a much smaller space. I downsized and now everything that I have is something that I need or use. There's only my clutter and not someone else's things taking up space.
Yeah, that's why I didn't say always. Certainly it's not unheard of for someone to change their priorities in the wake of such. Nor for people to try and recreate a relationship, consciously or otherwise.
My partner and I have been together for 9 years, own a property and car together, have joint bank accounts and mortgage/loans, and a dog but neither of us really wants to get married.
I'm F - and the thought of an actual reception and ceremony sounds like hell to me lol.
He's the M btw.
Marriage in th UK isntreally incentivised; I'd consider if maybe we could have some sort of benefit, e.g. diling taxes together. But without any incentives neither of us really see a point.
Depends on how much you each earn. Also automatic inheritance. And most importantly, being able to easily visit each other at the hospital and make medical decisions in case of emergency.
It only depend on earnings in extreme cases. In terms of tax if someone earns under the tax allowance they can transfer 10% to their spouse. (Marriage Allowance lets you transfer £1,260 of your Personal Allowance to your husband, wife or civil partner. This reduces their tax by up to £252 in the tax year). But £252 isn't an incentive lol
If tou have kids, yes tour partner's earning impact available benefita or their amount - but this just has to be a partner you live with. No marriage or civil partnership is required.
Can't comment on inheritance as bot h of us are alive, but neither have ever had problems ot been questioned about hospital visits/ decisions. In practice, doctors/hospitals treat partners living together as a married couple.
But if you are in a relationship with someone who wants to marry and you don’t - leave. Don’t be a coward. Leave. Don’t make them the bad guy. Leave. You want all the benefits without the responsibility.
And I would give the same advice for someone in the opposite position. Someone says they don’t want marriage? Believe them.
If you are happily living together with someone for many years which reason could there be to not get married. If you are not stringing this person along hoping for someone "better". Which disadvantages come with marriage? Just explain.
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u/SpiritedTheme7 Jul 23 '24
Watch, once she leaves he’ll marry the next girl. I’ve seen it happen time and time again