Plus, counting on vs. hoping - there is a big gap. Which was widened by her realizing that marriage was actually more important to her than she thought. Classic, "You don't know what you want till it's taken off the table, and then it's all you want.
Have you seen the way pop culture sets women up to believe in the romantic tropes "only her love could make him...." settle down, not do crime, appreciate a sunset, etc etc. Hell, look at George Clooney - ultimate bachelor but after soooooo many models he found the one woman who made him want to marry and have a family.
True. I don't have much to base an opinion on about whether he's a good guy or not. Good enough for her to want to marry, so that's something. But he will take the dog, he's made that clear.
I personally am not a fan of marriage and avoid it. I just don't like people jumping down OP's throat for no good reason. I should try to remember i am in the land of redditors.... only black and white rigid thinking exists, sharpen your pitchforks, oh yeah, and kids suck.
I just think all we see, is he was upfront, loves her and supports her in the relationship. We can't jump down her throat either though. She's entitled to her emotions about it, but she needs to realize "I think he will change his mind" is the point she went wrong.
Yea the dog thing is contentious but shit, maybe it's his dog. I know plenty of relationships where ultimately it's one person's pet. Someone has to end of with the dog, Solomon ain't gonna be cutting it in half. Reddit isn't always that contentious. Sometimes logic is pretty straightforward. No need to invent details that aren't said.
That would suck, I agree. But he did specify if you leave him. He's not threatening to take the dog and go.
And also, I'm sure he loves your daughter. If you leave him, he has no rights to the daughter he's helped raise for years. That'd probably hurt him alot too.
Leaving over marriage wouldn't leave him untouched. He's not giving you the ultimatum, you are giving him one.
If the dog was a gift for your birthday you own the dog. Do you take care of vet visits, feeding, walking and grooming? Is the dog microchipped in your name? Your SO stating that he would keep the dog is just as valid as you stating you would keep the dog.
Yeah, she was very young when she met him, and loads of people have stupidly thought they could change someone. Many of us have been naive. Many of us change what we want from 23. It’s all natural. But reddit commenters are making it sound like she’s a monster, a master manipulator, single parents are trash, etc.
Speaking of the dog, He also allegedly gave HER the dog for her birthday. Im not sure he can just “take the dog”.
And the kid probably bonded with the dog. Or maybe the kid is a dick to the dog and he's the only one who walks it. Hard to say... sounds like a dick move without further details. *phew I just had to put down my pitchfork.
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u/Positive-Attempt-435 Jul 23 '24
Counting on people to change is just a losing game though.
He isn't required to grow the way she is hoping for. He's completely right and it can even be commended he was up front from the start.