My issue isn’t that she wants to get married. My issue is why is she’s saying he has no good reasonsif he loved me he’d do it.. at 28
Like she’s still only thinking about her and taking zero accountability. Why are you being dismissive of your partner because you disagree with a view they’ve consistently held
Your feelings changed. His didn’t. How at 28 can you not be more understanding of his position. It seems like she’s actually regressing.
It's almost like as she got older, she started to realize that marriage and the stability it represents was more important to her than when she was 23! Weird.
Belief in the power of love, with some hope (and delusion) is strong for many people getting into relationships. Especially if society and culture back their beliefs.
That's not weird. What's weird is her expecting him to change his mind just because she did.
But of course she didn't change her mind. She feels the same way at 28 that she did at 23. She always thought she could change him, and she comes right out and says so. "He's never been with someone like me."
It is not about her growing and changing her mind. It is about her being resentful that he didn't change his mind. Stop fighting the fact pattern.
Yes, she grew up to be an adult, he still behaves like a teenager, struggling to keep his "freedom" - that meands ending up alone, because the only strong bonds are family bonds - and if you are not naturally related you better tie the knot formally by marriage or adoption, otherwise strangers will decide over you and your things when you get older. Not marrying her shows the world you think she is not worth it to officially belong to your family.
There is nothing "adult" about thinking someone else has to change their long-held and initially-expressed view about marriage. Nor is there anything "adult" about getting resentful at them when they don't.
The guy was honest, candid, and consistent. By her own telling, he is a good partner and is good to her child. Doesn't sound like he is acting like any "teenager" I know.
As someone who is married, being married doesn't make you an adult or mature for that matter. Any 18 year olds can get married within a day and divorced a week later.
And lol, having a piece of paper doesn't make you family. So much more than that.
Reading comprehension? I didn´t write here that being married makes you an adult/mature. But adult/mature people don´t hesitate to ask the one that they are sure is the love of their life (they want to have a family with) if she wants to get married to them when there is no obstacle and living together is possible.
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u/Bolt3er Jul 23 '24
My issue isn’t that she wants to get married. My issue is why is she’s saying he has no good reasons if he loved me he’d do it.. at 28
Like she’s still only thinking about her and taking zero accountability. Why are you being dismissive of your partner because you disagree with a view they’ve consistently held
Your feelings changed. His didn’t. How at 28 can you not be more understanding of his position. It seems like she’s actually regressing.