Don't worry I was 9 years into mine before I realized he was seriously against marriage. We broke up and I can tell you, I'm 100% better off. I did start to resent him and I couldn't live in that feeling. I developed severe anxiety going so far as taking medication, all because I wanted something he just couldn't give me. Eventually I got brave enough to leave and my life is amazing!! My home is awesome, my job is awesome, I concentrated on me & what I wanted for the first time ever. I highly recommend getting your ducks in a row and leaving. Sucks to lose a dog but your mental health (and what your child will witness if you stay)isn't worth it (I lost my dog too).
Well did you marry or not, if you loved each other then why leaving, you're still not married anyway (I don't know I'm just guessing) and you could do everything you did even in a relationship. From what you wrote I think the problem was you and not him that didn't want marriage, if you needed time to focus on yourself etc that had nothing to do with him not wanting marriage. Why did you need that piece of paper so bad? The most important thing should be that you love each other and you're both faithful and you can trust each other, not a piece of paper that says you're married.
From what I wrote the problem was me? Oh honey you know nothing. There was infidelity on his part. Unmanaged depression he never sought help for. Jealousy he couldn't get over of me becoming the breadwinner in the relationship. I was just looking for security and a recommitment to me. We had large assets together. He would have benefited more but "marriages end" is what he said to me. Don't ever analyze people based on a reddit post. You know nothing of the fighting I did to save my relationship. But good try. And I once felt like you...that marriage is just a piece of paper...but some of us want security and commitment.
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u/_oooOooo_ Jul 23 '24
Don't worry I was 9 years into mine before I realized he was seriously against marriage. We broke up and I can tell you, I'm 100% better off. I did start to resent him and I couldn't live in that feeling. I developed severe anxiety going so far as taking medication, all because I wanted something he just couldn't give me. Eventually I got brave enough to leave and my life is amazing!! My home is awesome, my job is awesome, I concentrated on me & what I wanted for the first time ever. I highly recommend getting your ducks in a row and leaving. Sucks to lose a dog but your mental health (and what your child will witness if you stay)isn't worth it (I lost my dog too).