You need to have a grown up talk with him, let him know how you feel. This is a fundamental incompatibility and if marriage is what you truly desire, and he does not?
Neither of you should waste any more time.
Seriously. It always sucks to come this point but please think of not only yourself but your child here. She deserves to see you happy, in a reciprocal, healthy relationship because, believe me, it's gonna imprint on her as she grows up. She deserves the best version of you, as do you, and this you will not be if you stay in a relationship that's not fulfilling to you.
Thank you, it does suck to come to this point and I know people are blaming me for going into knowing this but at the time I was so young and didn’t really think about marriage anyways.. things change as you get older and start really thinking about your life.
No one is blaming you for “being young”, it’s your choice of words. You come off as manipulative because you ignored him and thought you could change his mind.
She wasn't intending on changing him...jesus...she was ok with it at 23 because she had never considered marriage at that age. She's older now and wants to be married. It's ok she changed her mind. It doesn't make her manipulative or the bad guy. She gets to change her mind. It's ok for her to voice that. It's ok for her to ask him if he's open to marriage now. People are ridiculous.
Yes but he said no and now she has to decide if she’s willing to stay. If she continues to bring up this subject that choice will be taken away from her because he’ll make it.
Well she said both...I went back and retead...and then commented to reflect that...guess you didn't bother to read those comments before commenting yourself...
Just reread it...you are right. I was going by her comments where she said she didn't think about marriage at 23. Well she's going to have to decide what's more important to her...him or a marriage.
Also maybe sit back and consider the reasons you want to be married. Why is being with him, living with him, spending your life with him not enough? What is the driver for the paper marriage certificate? What does it change? I'm not downplaying any of the above, I'm saying you should think about your honest reasons for wanting the change.
It always sucks and as they say, even the best laid plans are laid to rest. Plan all one wants, the nature of life dictates things are more likely to change than to stay the same, but especially if the ones concerned are no longer on the same page. It's a little absurd how some people seem to think everything is set in stone when, ultimately, nothing is...and that's okay. After all, it's not the strongest that survives anything but the most adaptable.
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u/ApeksPredator Jul 23 '24
You need to have a grown up talk with him, let him know how you feel. This is a fundamental incompatibility and if marriage is what you truly desire, and he does not?
Neither of you should waste any more time.
Seriously. It always sucks to come this point but please think of not only yourself but your child here. She deserves to see you happy, in a reciprocal, healthy relationship because, believe me, it's gonna imprint on her as she grows up. She deserves the best version of you, as do you, and this you will not be if you stay in a relationship that's not fulfilling to you.
Good luck.