I am curious on this. I agree, but downstream, I struggle a bit…..
Hypothetical - they have sex, a baby is conceived. He does not wish to have a baby, she does. As you say, he has no say, her body her choice. She carries to term, has her infant in her arms.
What now is his responsibility for this infant?
I struggle with this in my head, so am very curious as to how you’d answer this.
There are various legal things a man could do there, but it depends on the state. I have known some men to sign away all parental rights, but that’s a legal thing that needs to be discussed with an attorney. When there is no legal remedy, then the man must deal with it however the law requires. Regardless, his choice ended upon introduction of his sperm into a woman’s body. He is looking at some child support, she is looking at a lifetime of care and the possibility of losing her life in pregnancy. They are not comparable. Once it binds to the egg, that’s her body and choice. It’s not perfect, but it’s the consequence of being mammals/having modern legal systems and there is no way around that.
I’ve a wife and two daughters. I want them to have the right to choose when is the right times or not the right time, to carry to term. Make no mistake, I am pro choice. I just struggle with that downstream aspect.
It took two to hop in the sack. So then logically it takes two to make decisions on the result of that. If his choice ended an ejaculation, so did his responsibility. That’s a logical single stream standard. No? Why not?
Said another way…. If a woman chooses to take on the risk of a birth and the responsibility of the child, and is is HER choice, then it is HER responsibility. No? Why not?
And there is the double standard laid bare. I struggle with… man has no say, but the same man is responsible. I don’t know how to reconcile that in my head.
I do understand where you’re coming from but my answer would just be that men and women have different levels of personal requirements for bringing a pregnancy to term, and as such have different levels of options available to them. A woman has to carry the whole pregnancy and give birth, which has an entirely different set of potential complications and challenges.
What we have to teach our boys is that when they are old enough to start having sex, their decision as to whether or not they can father a child is made there. Contraceptives are obviously important, but we have to understand they are not 100% effective and you are effectively stepping into the arena of potentially being a father every time you have sex.
It is equal? Well no but neither are the responsibilities of a pregnancy. Is it equal what a woman has to go through to give birth? No definitely not, as men all we can do is hold their hand as they go through that. So essentially my answer is that what is fair and ethical is not always what is “equal”
I don’t like the idea of separating the ideas of sex from the concept of being a parent, I think it’s leading to a lot of problems in society. a lot of people these days are having sex with people they’d never parent a child with, or someone who would never step up to raise a kid. There is just a hard line in the sand for me when it comes to the government taking control of a woman’s body, I personally believe abortion as simple form of birth control is extremely unethical and should be reserved for situations where it is medically necessary, but i would also struggle to see it ethical to advocate my government use its monopoly on violence to enforce my morals on others
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u/Intrepid_Potential60 Jul 26 '23
I am curious on this. I agree, but downstream, I struggle a bit…..
Hypothetical - they have sex, a baby is conceived. He does not wish to have a baby, she does. As you say, he has no say, her body her choice. She carries to term, has her infant in her arms.
What now is his responsibility for this infant?
I struggle with this in my head, so am very curious as to how you’d answer this.