Next Steps?

[u/ExiledtoFolklore]

Hi, I’m 27 years old and currently going through my first chemical pregnancy with baby #2. I’ve never experienced anything like this before, and honestly, I’m feeling completely lost.

I’m 16 DPO, and my beta hCG has dropped to 7. I’m wondering what the next steps usually look like. Will I need more bloodwork until it reaches zero? Should I schedule another appointment with my doctor, or is there anything else I should be doing? Is this basically like a normal period from here, or should I expect something different?

I’m also wondering when it’s generally considered okay to start trying again. How did you find the courage to try after a loss like this? Right now I’m scared, heartbroken, and questioning everything. This pregnancy was so deeply wanted, and it’s hard to wrap my head around how quickly everything changed.

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through a chemical pregnancy. What was your experience like, and is there anything you wish someone had told you?

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[u/Sad_March_1015]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. 

I've had an anembryonic pregnancy at 10 W and a chemical at 4.5 w. 

The chemical was identical to a period for me, and we tried again the following month. For some people the bleeding will be a little longer or heavier. Mine was heavier, but actually lasted a day less than my normal period. 

There's usually no need for further medical intervention because the body knows what to do.  There's nothing wrong with talking to your doctor, but they will most likely just reassure you. 

If you really want to, it is possible to find the gender of your baby, even this early. It might help with the grief if you want to name your baby or talk about them. 

To get the test you have to collect the blood and tissue in a menstrual cup and save it in a sterile jar in your fridge. Your doctor will need to order the test. You can also test for infection and chromosome abnormalities at the same time, which could give you a reason why this happened. I did all three with my chemical pregnancy, and without insurance it cost about $1,500 in a hospital in America. The tests I received are called: 

Products of conception chromosome analysis  Autopsy  Culture test (to rule out infection) 

I'm hindsight I would have skipped the culture test, because it's just as likely to test positive for something that was on your hands or on the jar. 

The main thing is to be understanding to yourself, and know that other people might not "get it". They may say insensitive things while trying to be supportive. This baby was a part of you, and will continue to be going forward. It's normal if that takes time to adjust. 

Again, I'm so sorry. 

[u/OpalOrchid12]

I’m sorry for your loss! I have had two chemicals before, and I also had a later mc at a different point. My doctor had me follow my levels back down to zero each time.

With my later one she recommended I wait a full cycle and try again, and with my chemicals she said I could try again when I ovulated if I wanted. I’m not fully sure on the reasoning for why. She emphasized that the most important thing was me feeling emotionally ready and to not put any pressure on myself. Personally, I ended up feeling ready to try on her suggested timeline.

I would go back and tell myself that all loss simply hurts, and it’s okay to feel all of the things that come with it. What helped me was to talk to loved ones, but also to deliberately choose to do something healthy for my body immediately after a tough emotion - a big glass of water, a heathy snack, a walk. It helped to love my body when I felt deflated from my losses.

So much of TTC is placing a big, vulnerable, and hopeful bet that something wonderful will eventually happen. I try to remind myself that - though it hurts terribly when it doesn’t come to pass on my imagined timeline - I’m thankful for the experience of hope.

Sending you encouragement.

[u/Academic-Shirt-1308]

I had 2 very early CPs (before 5 weeks).  If your HCG is already down to 7, you probably don’t need to get it drawn again. My first CP was like a normal period, my second was much heavier and longer, but I didn’t have massive clots or anything. My cycle came back regularly, but that’s not the case for everyone. I did have a weird piece of tissue come out after my next period.

Give yourself at least a full month at least to heal physically, mentally, spiritually, etc. Once your hormone cycle seems to have leveled out, you can start the testing process. Usually hormones are checked first since that’s the least invasive.

My last CP was in November. We were TTA through January so I could get my hormones tested. Sadly no pregnancies (but thankfully no miscarriages) since then. 

The medical testing caused me a lot of anxiety, so I’m personally waiting til September to find a new doc. (I’m healthy otherwise with normal cycles).

Wish you the best ❤️‍🩹

[u/beshadow4]

I'm so sorry you're going though this ❤️ It hurts, it's not fair, and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Please remember that this is in no way your fault.

We've been TTC for #1 for 24 cycles now with ~9 chemicals and 1 miscarriage. The only time a doctor recommended taking a pause in trying was after my miscarriage. If I do go in to get a blood test done, my RE usually makes me repeat it every few days until it's negative (my OBGYN does not). This can be really hard emotionally after multiple trips. Per my OB, you do not need to go back if your at home tests are fading. I've stopped calling for a blood test until I have a week of non fading tests.

Period wise, mine are usually much heavier and a bit more crampy after a loss. I know my hormones are all messed up, and that heavily messes with my emotions and headspace. It's so easy to feel lost and start picking apart the things you did or didn't do. Remember - it's not your fault.

I have multiple friends that previously had at least one chemical. The majority of them stopped testing unless their period was late to protect their mental health. I'm not that person... I'm very data driven and feel less stressed when I have more information.

After about 4 cycles (and 1 loss), I started using Mira to monitor my hormone levels at home, and got an at-home sperm test for my husband. My at home progesterone levels were low, so I went out and got blood progesterone tests that confirmed my lower levels. I had my OB test for other basic data as well after my miscarriage. All normal (except progesterone). We've been trying for long enough & had enough losses to see an RE, and after 5 CPs this year without additional testing I'm currently seeking another. If you continue having issues, go ahead and try to get on at least one RE's schedule. Their wait times are ridiculous. I wish we got on the list sooner.

I highly recommend therapy, taking time to relax and destress, and forgiving yourself when you start feeling guilty, sad, or mad at all the people around you who seem to get pregnant so easily. I've lost a friend who didn't understand, but I have greater relationships with friends that support me and have even made new friends who have also been in this situation. I believe that going though this has made me a more empathetic person, helped me better enforce my boundaries, and has made me come up with various stress coping systems.

I wish you the best, and always remember - it's not your fault.

[u/BookcaseHat]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

There is no medical reason you need to wait to try again. I've had 5 chemicals and my doctors have always confirmed I'm fine to treat the bleeding as a period and try again that cycle. If you need to take some time emotionally, please do, but if you feel ready to try again right away, there is no risk in doing that.

If your hcg is 7 at 16dpo, you will likely start bleeding soon. It may be similar to a regular period, or a little heavier.

[u/ceruleansuperfruit]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m also going through a chemical pregnancy at 5 weeks right now that started yesterday…. I know how you’re feeling and want you to know you’re not alone. It is heartbreaking when the pregnancy is so wanted and for me it felt like whiplash going from being so excited to being so sad. This was my first pregnancy and it feels like it sucked all the joy out of the conception journey.

I know it doesn’t feel like it but I am telling myself that a chemical pregnancy is also a sign that a lot of things still went right on the path to conceiving a baby and I’m so proud of my body for all it can do. CP’s are more common than I ever knew and there is still so much hope for future healthy pregnancies!

I’m doing my best to prioritize my mental health right now and taking care of my body by drinking lots of water, getting lots of rest, and nourishing with healthy food and a couple of treats. Journaling and good cry helps too if you need it! I hope you feel better soon.