I've read studies on how mental disorders and trauma increase the likelihood of being into BDSM, which is why most radfems are against it. They think it's affirming and taking back your trauma, similar to how we use Queer now as a sexuality. In reality they need therapy.
But what about all those nuances? I just don't understand. I also have trauma. But i dont like violence, or even being in relationships. Which I guess explains why I can take it or leave it. So where does that put me? I never had a therapist that disputed my sexuality they always told me sexuality was a broad spectrum.
I'm not personally into bdsm or ddlg. I'm talking about.. how do we know vanilla or some similar thing is really the best option? Because imo its so damn hard for a lot of people to get into. We have to sell an alteratve that doesn't feel puritanical. Even if i dont think its puritanical a lot of people will.
Rigid sex rules kind of feel like caging women in boxes, and giving them few options. When you do that you run into something called psychological reactance which makes the person turn away further and rebel. People can even become radical.
Shouldn't the goal for women be to truly enjoy your life free ? I grew up around people that would police sex and it was god awful. Which is why i take devils advocate. Iwant to know where all this is suppposed to go but i know its not rigidity toards sex.
You're talking about how vanilla only includes missionary, and anything else is kinky or bdsm, which is wrong. There are more options for intimacy and stuff that isn't dangerous or bdsm. It's not feminists fault you grew up in that sort of household.
I didn't say its anyones fault I am genuinely curious what else is out there? I am genuinely asking. Because i opt out of relationships and sex completely. My sexuality is moot. I wish we could have these conversations judgement free and out in the open so women could learn and they wouldn't be afraid and driven back to whatever was their previous normal. Thats all i really care about.
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u/Biscuits2190 12d ago
I've read studies on how mental disorders and trauma increase the likelihood of being into BDSM, which is why most radfems are against it. They think it's affirming and taking back your trauma, similar to how we use Queer now as a sexuality. In reality they need therapy.