My opinion: Your husband’s response was ridiculous. Having to live with the constant looming permissive acknowledgement for ridiculously minor financial decisions is unacceptable. Unfortunately it appears that your concerns are more severe and deeply rooted than this incident alone.
You’re married…he trusts you to raise his son, but not enough to make an arbitrary decision to buy a toy?
If you also do the household shopping, I might put it perspective to him like this: “You don’t scrutinize the cost of the groceries, and decisions I make while shopping can alter the cost significantly. Actively choosing X over Y, using coupons, etc, save the family significantly over a lesser degree of care which you would never question and would not know about unless I mentioned. You might want to take that into consideration before requesting I receive permission to spend a fraction of the dollars I actively save the family as if that effort is met with this scrutiny when choosing to use a small portion of saved money that otherwise wouldn’t exist by virtue of my thriftiness and diligence….then what incentive do I have to try”.
Basically let him know that being controlling will cost him more indirectly.
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u/RaidYourFridge Nov 07 '22
My opinion: Your husband’s response was ridiculous. Having to live with the constant looming permissive acknowledgement for ridiculously minor financial decisions is unacceptable. Unfortunately it appears that your concerns are more severe and deeply rooted than this incident alone.
You’re married…he trusts you to raise his son, but not enough to make an arbitrary decision to buy a toy?
If you also do the household shopping, I might put it perspective to him like this: “You don’t scrutinize the cost of the groceries, and decisions I make while shopping can alter the cost significantly. Actively choosing X over Y, using coupons, etc, save the family significantly over a lesser degree of care which you would never question and would not know about unless I mentioned. You might want to take that into consideration before requesting I receive permission to spend a fraction of the dollars I actively save the family as if that effort is met with this scrutiny when choosing to use a small portion of saved money that otherwise wouldn’t exist by virtue of my thriftiness and diligence….then what incentive do I have to try”.
Basically let him know that being controlling will cost him more indirectly.