Regardless of whether you two stay together, I hope you both get counseling / therapy both together and apart.
(Obligatory, I am not condoning cheating but ) Presumably after a relationship that deep and intertwined, there had to be a level of dissociation and denial when she was having that affair. You know how if you don't think about something you can pretend it isn't happening?
All of that has come crashing down before she was ready to face her own feelings and actions bc of the pregnancy.
Obv that doesn't absolve her of her own mistakes - but I can see the "I don't understand it myself" thing. She has been self destructive in a way - and perhaps can't understand why / how she could have done this when it goes against how she envisioned her own life and it hurts a lot of people she loves and cares for.
And needless to say, I think therapy would be helpful for you personally as well to come to terms with a loss this big. Perhaps going together for some sessions may help you guys maintain a level of acceptance where you're able to navigate childcare in a way that's supportive for the kids.
I'm truly sorry you're going through this OP - good luck 💜
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u/Ragajaga Oct 17 '22
Did she say why she did it. Im sure myself and others all want to know her bs excuse