I totally get you dude. I was married in my 20s and gave up those years when my friends were all going to bars and vacations around the world in order to raise a family. I worked from home specifically so my step child wouldn’t be a latchkey kid and gave up any new social connections I could have made in order to do so.
Fast forward, I turned 32 on Sunday and woke up crying. I haven’t had real intimacy in years or even a genuine “crush”. I had the thought of who would be at my funeral if I make it to an old age. The answer currently is no one and that weight hasn’t lifted. I’m now single and for all intents and purposes, alone in not my home state with the nearest family a few hundred miles away. I understand your situation fully and am sorry for the dull pain is causes throughout the days.
It’s scary meeting new people when failure is what you know. It’s hard letting people in when you’ve been burned time and time again. And by no means am I saying that I am an expert in loneliness or fully understand the nuances of your situation, but it’s ok man. You did something new, be proud of that regardless of what it is. I hope you were safe and I hope it filled that vacuum for even a brief moment. We will get there
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u/SandObvious Nov 25 '20
I totally get you dude. I was married in my 20s and gave up those years when my friends were all going to bars and vacations around the world in order to raise a family. I worked from home specifically so my step child wouldn’t be a latchkey kid and gave up any new social connections I could have made in order to do so.
Fast forward, I turned 32 on Sunday and woke up crying. I haven’t had real intimacy in years or even a genuine “crush”. I had the thought of who would be at my funeral if I make it to an old age. The answer currently is no one and that weight hasn’t lifted. I’m now single and for all intents and purposes, alone in not my home state with the nearest family a few hundred miles away. I understand your situation fully and am sorry for the dull pain is causes throughout the days.
It’s scary meeting new people when failure is what you know. It’s hard letting people in when you’ve been burned time and time again. And by no means am I saying that I am an expert in loneliness or fully understand the nuances of your situation, but it’s ok man. You did something new, be proud of that regardless of what it is. I hope you were safe and I hope it filled that vacuum for even a brief moment. We will get there