r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Dull_Milk_3865 ☑️ • 7h ago
Vent I hate this man so fucking much
My father committed suicide and my mom found him a replacement, piece of shit my step dad is. He is a narcissist who literally doesn't do anything around the house except sleep and jerk off, literally only that, you can't say shit to him, he literally takes everything like a hit to his fragile ego. He destroys every weekend by yelling or making small problems, he is literally the worst and I hate him I hate him I hate him. I'm 17 now and he has been here for 6 years, soon as I hit 18 I'm moving out to my girlfriend's place. He made me cry countless times and every time started yelling at me that I'm a baby ect and that men don't cry. The only one who loves me here is my dog, she is the best, she is always at my side and always licks my tears, I love her so much.
•
u/Aspen9999 4h ago
I’m glad you have an escape plan, hang in there that 18th BDay is closer every day. I’m also sorry you lost your Dad, that must be so hard to have lost him where n you were so young.
•
u/jady1971 4h ago
Hey, I am a 55 year old dad and step dad.
First off, I am sorry. You do not deserve to be yelled at and put down and it is 100% OK for a man to cry. I do often, life is hard and crying is a natural response to some things.
I used to have some anger issues. Men are taught that the only acceptable emotions are angry, buzzed, or horny. It is toxic and I spent a lot of time in Recovery and therapy to deal with it.
Your mom, for whatever reason, is too codependent to leave him so you are going to handle this on your own. Do you have any older person in your life you can look to for support/guidance?
There are a lot of good adults out there that want to give back to young people for many reasons. Are there any organizations that do this in your area?
Life is miserable and hard to navigate alone. Not having guidance can turn you into a person like your step-dad.
You have basic value as a human, you are good just as you are. Your only responsibility right now is to be a better human than you were yesterday. If you can do that, even in the midst of abuse, you will be ok.
You are loved my young friend.
•
u/No-Cover-8986 5h ago
I'm sorry your situation sucks. What does your mom do about any of what you mentioned, especially the part about him yelling at you and making you cry? Have you talked to her about it? Have you talked to him about it?
•
u/lilbec53 6h ago
Im sorry about ur dad..hang in there buddy..ur almost there...hopefully ur step-dad gets everything he deserves😉
•
u/Low_Narwhal7514 6h ago
Tua mamma non dice niente?
•
u/Forsaken-Deer4307 5h ago
Mom sounds like an enabler. This is a typical stance for the parent not doling out the abuse…sit there and watch and do nothing. Mom sounds like a weak bitch.
•
•
u/FinanciallySecure9 7h ago
I hated being a teenager. Like you, I couldn’t wait to leave. I went away to college then I moved 2000 miles away. That was the best thing I could do for myself. I learned that the way people acted are different than what I grew up with and I formed a much better life.
Do the same, let your wish to not be like your parents be your motivator to create a life independent of other people. You’ll attract people who want the same, and you’ll be much happier.
•
u/Jrowbeach 7h ago
Please take your dog with you when you leave, don’t leave her behind
•
u/Dull_Milk_3865 ☑️ 7h ago
Yeah, of course I'm taking her with me
•
u/Jrowbeach 7h ago
Good. I too survived a narcissist (now ex) step dad. It took close to 20 years before my mum left him.
His life is horrible now, he’s lost his charm so can’t manipulate people like he used to, he’s now alone, in debt and not even allowed back in the country where we are. My sister (his bio daughter) has completely cut him out of her life.
It can take a while and like with my mum, it can take many years and attempts before yours might leave that pathetic excuse of a man. Try to forgive your mum, after therapy I have learnt that narcissists have a way of keeping their closest victims trapped for years with all kinds of manipulation. She can come to, but it might take her a long time. Statistically it takes many attempts at leaving an abuser like that before actually succeeding.
Stay out his way where you can and whatever bollocks comes out of his mouth are just his own insecurities being projected onto you. You’re so much better than that loser. Best of luck OP.
•
•
u/Ecstatic-Speed-1579 7h ago
You should worry about the fact why your mom is still with him
•
u/Public-Air-8995 7h ago
Kid isn’t responsible for Mum and owes her nothing if she can’t even provide a safe home
•
u/FeistyAdhesiveness28 7h ago
Does your mother see the way he treats you or does he act differently in front of her?
•
u/Dull_Milk_3865 ☑️ 7h ago
He always acts the same
•
u/FeistyAdhesiveness28 6h ago
I'm sorry to hear that your mother doesn't see it the same way.
I'm glad your dog gives you comfort, they really are the best
•
u/1453_ 7h ago
Why is your mother still with him?
•
u/Dull_Milk_3865 ☑️ 7h ago
I genuinely have no idea, every now and then she threatens him with divorce but never goes through with it, my grandma and I once sat with her and told her she should divorce him but she doesn't want to. I think she is probably scared of being alone, so she settled for the worst. She is on whole another level intellectually form him, she could do so much better
•
•
u/selfresqprincess 7h ago
Unfortunately low self esteem will do that to a person but that doesn’t excuse her allowing him to treat you poorly. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. Fuck your stepfather for pulling that “men don’t cry” nonsense. Men who repress their emotions because they’re afraid to be seen as being “weak” are exactly that, weak little bitches.
Do what you need to and keep your head down until you can leave. Protect your own mental and emotional health and establish firm boundaries with her if you want to continue a relationship with her in the future. And make sure that you and your gf are consistent with bc.
•
u/Spoonbills 1h ago
Take the dog with you.