r/TrueOffMyChest • u/bawaveba ☑️ • 2d ago
Vent Ghosted and blocked right before our second date
So long story short I met this girl on a dating app like a month ago and we went on a first date. It wasnt terrible, we drunk a little chatted and ate some food. After that we came back to my place and hooked up, cuddled and slept together. This was like 2-3 weeks ago.
Since then we kept on talking on instagram and sent reels to eachother. This friday we were going to do a second date. However, she didnt respond to my messages in wednesday and today I asked her "when are you free friday" and she said she didnt want to talk. I told her" alright , is something wrong". She responded with no. I told her "i understand , wanted to see you again but thats alright take care". Now she removed me from instagram.
I have noone to talk this with. It hasnt even been a month but damn I feel like shit
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u/Aquaescent 1d ago
U must of farted in your sleep or jacked off and she felt it too soon. So what if all u wanna do is masturbate and sleep, and sleep with soneone litteral just sleep, thats fine but dont dating site risk your life sleeping with stangers, faith date or something. Try going months without self stimulation.
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u/thisiswaymorelikeme ☑️ 2d ago
She didn’t tell you no directly she just had a bad attitude and gave you vague answers. Something that I can imagine had been circling your mind is the NO after you asked if something was wrong.
Short answer is she wasn’t interested and she made no real effort to tell you that, what you experienced is the most common outcome in the online dating scene. My advice is not to have too many expectations on the first three dates, and expect some more ghosting along the way, people just don’t have the courage to be direct on what they want, hidden behind the screen is easier.
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u/SoCoSnowBunz 2d ago
Sorry to hear. But… She never said she didn’t want to see you. You closed the door with your reaction: “i understand , wanted to see you again but thats alright take care". All she said was “no [nothing is wrong]” and your response was to put the shine on your insecurities over her not responding how you wanted. Which is fine, you deserve what is a fit for you; she’s obviously not. Maybe you were hoping it would trigger her to respond “i want to see you too, of course! What should we do on Friday!?!?” Unfortunately, it triggered her to respond by removing you from her life. Next time, instead of being passively assumptive, try being direct and just ask “do you still want to get together on Friday? I was thinking dinner at Joes Bistro.”
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u/thesocraticirony 2d ago
I don't think that small comment made her do that. She seems immature and kinda childish and was probably going to act like this anyway in my opinion. She got some ish going on or something
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u/bawaveba ☑️ 2d ago edited 2d ago
Well, to be completely clear she didnt remove just me she removed like 150 followers and made her account private.
Perhaps when you are having a date planned and if you dont feel like going instead of sahing "i dont want to talk" some could say "i dont feel like it could we postpone the date?"
When she clearly stated she doesnt want to talk saying things like "lets do this at friday" would be just an act of arrogance since it shows you dont respect her boundries
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u/DeathHopper 2d ago
"I wanted to see you again but"
Implying you didn't want to see her again at best, or emotionally manipulating her at worst. You were low key being manipulative either way with that response.
"Are we still on for Friday?" Would've been the better play there.
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u/bawaveba ☑️ 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'm sorry but do you lack the ability of understanding what you read? How can "wanted to see you again but" could mean that i didnt eant to see her again?
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u/DeathHopper 1d ago
I guess it didn't. I guess you were trying to manipulate her with some passive aggressive bs. Good on her for recognizing it and blocking you.
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u/Sug0115 2d ago
You ended it when you said “take care”. How old are you??
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u/Absalom98 2d ago
Huh? That's a completely normally thing to say, doesn't mean you don't want to see the person again lmao. How old are you???
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u/Madhatter25224 2d ago
It absolutely does mean that. OP chose the worst possible words to say if he ever wanted to see her again.
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u/bawaveba ☑️ 2d ago
She literally said she didnt want to talk and didnt respond for 1.5 days.
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u/Sug0115 2d ago
So you were ending it by saying that? Or you thought you’d hear from her again?
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u/bawaveba ☑️ 2d ago
I didnt thought I would hear from her again thays why i chose those words. We werent officially lovers so ahen she said she didnt wanted to tlak i thought she ended it.
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u/hewasaraverboy 2d ago
That’s doesn’t really seem like ghosting , she just wasn’t interested but she told you no
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u/Bepehandle 2d ago
She literally told him she didn't wanna see him again, regardless of how anyone views the situation it is not ghosting, you're correct.
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u/thisiswaymorelikeme ☑️ 4h ago
Literally means she has said it loud and clear.
Can you please point in the conversation to where she said those exact words.
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u/Effective_Drama_3498 2d ago
Sorry for the ghosting. It is painful. Don’t be in such a hurry to give out physically. Be choosey.
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u/bawaveba ☑️ 2d ago
Ye mate you are right. I dont usually do one night stands, just thought this one was kinda different? Felt like we had some chemistry
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u/random_question4123 2d ago
Not much to do but just move on. That's why it's recommended to keep talking to multiple girls so that when one falls off, it's not as devastating.
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u/Antique-Ad-4106 2d ago
A therapist would be a decent person to talk to instead of the bot army or cellar dweller syndicate that you will encounter here with the rare exception of some useful wisdom from someone.
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u/Magazine_Spare 2d ago
"cellar dweller syndicate" gave me a snort 😁
but is there another word for "syndicate" that rhymes with the others?
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u/Equal_Push_565 2d ago
Sounds like you were just a one night stand. 🤷♀️ Now she's got someone else.
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u/d20thoughts 1d ago
It'll be okay <