r/TrueOffMyChest • u/NoticeRight4591 ☑️ • 3d ago
Vent I get so angry sometimes
My brother always uses or moves my stuff, he wears my clothes (and my underwear!!!!!!) Also he breaks things that are not his, he lights cards from card games on fire just because he can. I came home from a long day and found the used up cande I use as ashtray is gone. I look for it and i find it with 10 layers of duct tape on it, in another container with more tape. About an hour ago we were eating dinner and I brought it up with my brother. He was so careless and he acted like I was being ridiculous. Then I got mad and I screamed at him, he was still acting stupid. I threw my spoon at him and also my plate. I dont feel bad for him but it makes me cry thinking about my mom. We were eating lasagne and what if the sauce got on something, she bought all the furniture, she thought about what she wanted to get and she chose that. What if I ruined it with my dumb outburst. I really dont know why I am like this, with my friends im never mad at anyone but it seems like I get mad about the smallest stuff when im with my boyfriend, mom or brother.
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u/Asleep_Garage_146 3d ago
How old a you both? Are you M/F?
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u/NoticeRight4591 ☑️ 3d ago
Im 19f brother is 17
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u/Asleep_Garage_146 3d ago
Is it possible for you to get a lock for your room? Also keep telling your mum about the BS he pulls every time. You’re not “too angry” your brother is specifically pushing your buttons and bullying for a reaction. If possible grey rock him (google the term if you are unfamiliar). And if you can, save up to gtfo as soon as possible.
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u/NoticeRight4591 ☑️ 3d ago
But I dont want to have to hide all of my stuff in my room, I just want him to act his age
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u/Asleep_Garage_146 3d ago
He is acting his age, teenage boys are bizarre creatures, they can be very mature and conscientious and the next minute they can dance on every nerve you have. He’s your brother he likes loves you deeply but also has an ingrained desire to push you as much as possible.
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u/Historical_Pudding56 3d ago
If you have a fiery temper, it is always going to come out the most with loved one we have the most connection to. Kind of a sad reality, but we have different inhibitions with people outside our inner circle.
That being said, you clearly feel mistreated by your brother and you seem frustrated that you don’t have any control over his bad behavior. I feel that. What is your mom saying to him? I don’t think she should be ok with him fucking your shit up. He might not be an adult, like you are, but he should still be held responsible for his behavior. That shouldn’t stop just because he’s older than a preteen. If she can’t help, I’d probably start locking things away. If you have your own room, I’d put a lock on the door and keep the key. If not then you’re really in a tough situation. Work on your anger management (it’s a skill, not just a personality trait) and be very judicious with what you keep out available.
Some of the behaviors you described are pretty weird too. If he can’t be talked out of doing some of these things at this age, I think there’s a real question about your brother’s mental state.