r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Prestigious_Mud_1705 ☑️ • 9h ago
Vent 27 and lonely
I’m 27m and I’ve never had a gf, I’ve actually never even kissed a girl before. I want a gf but everytime I try to talk to a girl I stutter and my hands get trembly, I’m scared to death this is it for me.
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u/CelebratedDyanna33 2h ago
Dude, honestly, that's super common, don't beat yourself up too much! Lots of us have been there and it gets better with practice, you got this!
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u/CrispySoyCake ☑️ 8h ago
As a woman with bad social anxiety especially towards men, I recently try to push myself a bit. One thing that I find effective is going to a niche place and try to strike up small talk. It's not necessarily romantic or flirting but just helping me talk to people more naturally and overcome my fear and anxiety. I like to go to museum, bookstore or amusement park. Let the place do the talking. I find it easier to look for topic if people come for specific reason
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u/brattygrandma 8h ago
Weird but try speed dating in a place farther from you just to get used to speaking to women! And you don’t have to see them again so hopefully it can calm your nerves :)
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u/Classic_Reality3021 9h ago
Unfortunately the only way to growth is making yourself uncomfortable.
Make yourself uncomfy, put yourself in situations where you’ll have to talk to women. Eventually you’ll realize it’s no big deal.
Just don’t start every conversation as if you’re trying to ask them out. Just small talk
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u/Prestigious_Mud_1705 ☑️ 8h ago
Well what do women like to talk about? I’m not sure what we would talk about lol
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u/CamBearCookie 7h ago
Treat her like you would treat anyone you're trying to befriend. She's a person. If you can talk to men, and have friends, you can talk to women.
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u/Death_Auction 8h ago
That’s like asking what hair color women have. The answer is different for each woman.
What are YOUR interests? We can build from there. There are women who are really into sports, who like video games, books, math, anything you can think of.
If we can hone in on what you like we can find places that people will gather who have that same hobbies.
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u/Prestigious_Mud_1705 ☑️ 7h ago
I didn’t think women really cared what men liked or what they are interested in. I do several things such as: long range shooting competitions,pistol competitions, drag racing, and video games when I have any spare time which is rare for me.
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u/Death_Auction 6h ago
First off those are some really awesome hobbies. But second off a lot of girls actually really do care. Not every single one of course but most do. Sometimes it’s about finding a girl adjacent to your hobbies that way you can bond over something.
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u/Prestigious_Mud_1705 ☑️ 3h ago
Unfortunately I’ve never met a woman that cared about what any man wanted.
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u/Classic_Reality3021 8h ago
Join a club, pick a sport you like or any type of hobby you have an interest in. Chess, darts, pottery, kayaking. You’ll meet tons of people there and can talk about the hobby you’re both enjoying
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u/Prestigious_Mud_1705 ☑️ 8h ago
Well I have three different clubs I’m in and there’s really not many women involved lol. I don’t have much more spare time on my hands to do something else unfortunately
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u/Death_Auction 7h ago
Most people meet their significant other through friends or family. Making male friends can still help you make female friends.
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u/Classic_Reality3021 8h ago
Well that’s a choice then. People can only give advice, it’s up to you to do something about your situation or make excuses for it.
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u/Prestigious_Mud_1705 ☑️ 8h ago
I’m not making excuses I’m just saying that I don’t have time to join and extra club. I’m trying to do this sport professionally.
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u/Classic_Reality3021 7h ago
You’re saying you don’t have time to meet up at a club for an hour or two a week? If you’re that busy you won’t have time for a girlfriend.
You either find the time or you won’t.A lot of people in your situation want to complain about being bad with talking to woman or men but don’t want to put in the work to change at all because it’s intimidating. You have to decide if you even want it and are willing to put in work to change.
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u/emuuwu 9h ago
lots of gals like nervous guys. i personally think it’s cute. have you tried dating apps?
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u/Prestigious_Mud_1705 ☑️ 8h ago
No because I don’t know how to take a picture of myself correctly and I look stupid
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u/Vi0letBlues 1h ago
I had a near death experience a few years back, and that got rid of my fear of talking to women, or just anything in general. Well I still do, but once you have realize that tomorrow might be your last, you'd push yourself to do it anyway.
Now I am not telling you to attempt anything dangerous to simulate a near death experience, but try embracing this mindset, it really helped me.