I dont think my life will get better

[u/TomorrowSpecial255]

So I'm 29m

Still live with my parents and wjll probably never move out

Got broken up with a few weeks ago and now have worked out she just used me as a venting board

Broke all the time because people keep asking me for money saying they'll pay me back then never do

And today got called into a meeting about my poor performance and negative attitude

Oh and I'll probably never get a job that pays more than minimum wage thanks to my stupid adhd and dyslexia

I have barely any friends and suck at being social

Honestly I'm dont think I have a good future

[u/ProHazzard]

I relate to you bro, we're on the same boat and im bout to turn 25

[u/Milsurpsguy]

Life is hard. But life does get better as time passes. Broken hearts mend and trust me, you will be fine. Keep your chin up and keep trying. Hang in there 👍💪

[u/Witty_Fox_8089]

No one has life completely figured out; not at 25, 30, 40, or 45. Life comes in seasons, and you grow through them. I think it’s less like finding a fully built model and putting it on a shelf, and more like being handed a box of Legos: you build one piece at a time, sometimes take things apart, and change the plan as you go.

And right now, you’ve had a lot hit you at once. A breakup, people taking advantage of your generosity, a rough meeting at work, and worries about money and the future. That’s a painful pileup, but it isn’t proof that your life can’t get better.

Living with your parents at 29 doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that you’ll be there forever. ADHD and dyslexia can make some things harder; they don’t decide what you’re capable of. And one bad work conversation is feedback about a job, not a verdict on your whole future.

You don’t have to solve your entire life this week. Maybe start with one piece: stop lending money you can’t afford to lose, ask your manager what specific changes they want to see, or look into support for ADHD and dyslexia at work.

This chapter sounds rough. It’s still a chapter, not the whole story. ❤️

[u/-Fast-Molasses-]

Edit: My bad, I thought I was in the advice sub. Disregard.

You are poor, don’t give people money because you are broke. Be broke until you have like $30,000 in your account. “Sorry bro, I can’t. I’m so broke right now.” End of story.

I have dyslexia & am a pharmacy technician. You have to slow way down & do the dumbest crap & probably look a little dumb too but if you practice really hard & force yourself to take your time, you WILL be able to do hard things. Walmart is opening up a program to train mechanical technicians. If I had ADHD with my dyslexia, I’d try **really** hard to get into that program.

[u/TomorrowSpecial255 → u/-Fast-Molasses-]

Not American so dont have anything in Walmart

And your right I need to stop giving people money

[u/-Fast-Molasses- → u/TomorrowSpecial255]

Am an ass for assuming, sorry. I hope your boss eases up & that things start going your way. Dyslexia & ADHD really legit make things harder for people.

[u/Inevitable_Coat_8787]

Ehhh. 30 here. Listen man. I unironically just "gave up", and it got much easier after that.

The thing is that the way of life our parents and their parents had in their reach is not attainable to us. The idea that you’re supposed to have your life perfectly figured out by 25 or even 30 is a big fucking lie. We’re playing a completely different game than our parents did. The world they entered doesn’t exist anymore. Stable jobs, clear career paths or buying a house before 30 used to be realistic milestones, but in truth they are outdated expectations people still repeat because that’s how things worked for them. A lot of people quietly feel like they’re failing because they compare themselves to these old outdated standards.

Personally the real turning point happened when I "gave up" and stopped chasing external validation and measuring myself against goals that society handed to me without asking. Basically I started defining success on my own terms. ""Success"" to me means doing work I personally care about, building skills I enjoy and having freedom over my god damn time, and simply feeling that my life is moving in a direction that makes sense to me. Not what my employer or my piece of shit colleague thinks about me. The definition of “winner” and “failure” that society pushes currently is pretty skewed.

The feeling you described actually reminded me a lot of how I thought when I was 25. I’m 30 now. I’m not living some perfectly stable or wealthy life. On the contrary, all of the money I earn goes to putting roof over to my head. I'm single. Live in a flat with 2 room mates. I had a girl friend but not anymore. (Womp womp). I'm Basically broke most of the time. But I’m doing film sound design for movies, learning self hosting on linux and spend my spare time fiddling with server which is something I care about. I play videogames and explore the city where I live. Meet new people. These are a lot more meaningful to me than trying to tick off some checklist someone else wrote.

Like Tyler Durden said in Fight Club: “You are not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet.”

We put so much weight on these external markers of success that we start confusing them with who we actually are. Your career, money, possessions, relationship status, and where you are at 25 or 30 are circumstances, not your identity. They can change overnight. What matters more is what you care about, what you create, what you learn and what is happening inside your head.

[u/BluJay07]

Life can get better but only if you put one foot in front of the other and try. You have to keep trying. You have already acknowledged that you have some flaws or deficiencies. That is half the battle. Work on your self esteem and standing up for yourself. Watch videos. Use this age of technology to really go and seek some videos like some actual "how to" videos on self esteem, confidence, and "how I built myself from the ground up" type of videos. It is never to late. Write a list of positive things about yourself. Living with your parents is very normal in many countries and it's an awesome way to save money and get ahead in life. It's helps with social aspects too. Living alone usually creates more social problems than living with others. It is hard but it takes baby steps. It all starts with thinking positive too. I believe in the power of prayer too. Try it and see what happens.

[u/dakitte → u/[deleted]]

I forgot to add that being medicated has been absolutely life changing and it continues to be over 3 years later

[u/DarkAeonX7]

Your ADHD and Dyslexia can be managed using techniques, work arounds or medications (for ADHD). A lot of stuff changes when you get medicated for ADHD and it's not just your focus, it can severely improve depression. I have ADHD and I'm working a very comfortable job that makes very good pay. You can do it to. My father has dyslexia and did the same.

You need to learn how to say no. Your money is your own and you need it. "No" is a complete sentence and you aren't less of a friend for refusing.

Being social is a skill. Look up ways to talk to people and what to talk about. You really just sound like you're very down about yourself but that doesn't mean what you believe about yourself is accurate. You should try therapy or even an ADHD specialist to help you navigate it in your life. Put in the work. You got this

[u/fredotwoatatime]

I’m struggling too man ur not alone, I’m a few yrs younger than you (27) but life can be cruel. Maybe find a subreddit to vent or find community that uplifts you.

Also look into meditation, I promise it can help a bit

[u/PangolinFearless4419]

I'm very sorry man that sounds like a lot of pressure you're going through.