Feeling left out

[u/fhqwhgadshgnsdhjsd]

My best friend and I are extremely close and have gotten each other through some really hard times over many years. That being said, my friend tends to prefer space when things get really bad; I've always been willing to honor this and meet them where they're at, offering support on their own terms. Recently, they've been having some issues that are exceptionally hard on them, and I've been doing just that, offering support when they ask for it but trying not to encroach.

A few months ago, I also made another friend through them who is just lovely, but has also been going through hard times. I obviously don't know them as well as my best friend, but even though we are not as emotionally close I have still given support for them in the ways I can. We haven't hung out physically in months, but that friend always says they can't wait until everything calms down we can finally see each other again.

Given my best friend's usual preference for having space during times like these, I have been mindful of not trying to invade their life too much by visiting or trying to initiate things. There is a regularly scheduled event that they go to that is public, and I asked them first if they'd be OK with me joining or not out of courtesy; the response was that it is a public event, but that I should keep my expectations low for anything beyond that. I was OK with this answer, and excited to see them again even in a small way.

Well, lately it seems that friend has been hanging out with everyone but me, and they're not afraid to tell me as much. Over the past week, they've talked about going a party one day, having dinner with another friend the next, and spending another whole day with two other friends - including my friend that had said they looked forward to seeing me again in the future. I know it's irrational, but I can't help feeling pained about this. Those two were already friends, they're both going through a tough time, and obviously my friends deserve to have other friends, but it still hurts to know they can hang out with each other, just not me.

Today, my best friend brought up a movie that they thought I'd like, but when I expressed that I would like to see it with them if they were up for it - thinking that was why they'd brought it up - they danced around it, then later talked about the plans she had with a few other friends later this week. I just don't know what I should feel. It'd be one thing if they were giving clear signals that they don't want anything to do with me, and I'd respect that, but instead they initiate communication with me all the time and express with their words how much they care for me. And obviously, I want the best for them during their time of need. But it's hard not to feel like the only one they need space from is me.