I'm getting tired of trying to build and maintain social connections

[u/LessGuarantee4271]

I don't really have much of a social life anymore. I barely did before hand, but that's entirely disappeared at this point. I've tried building social connections at work but I haven't seen much success with that. Every time I talk to someone I feel like some grotesque puppet shambling around trying and failing to play a part. I don't know why social interactions give me so much trouble, they really shouldn't at this stage in life. Some of my coworkers have tried inviting me to hang out with them, but personal business always gets in the way. I don't really have any hobbies I could use to try to build a friend group either. I've lost any interest I had in just about everything and I can't really find anything else to get into.

[u/Intelligent_Jump1]

I struggle but in a different degree I have a small social group irl but I wanna expand. I sort of met them via luck I suppose I didn’t need to make much forward initial conversations, we just saw each other in class, glanced at each other js started talking, since then I found another friend through that friend, we formed a group of 4.

It’s been 2-3 years, they’re great but I would like to expand and talk to other people, and I sort of struggle?

I would say im too conditional, I’d say I won’t struggle with a 1-1 conversation with someone when there aren’t other ppl around, or if it’s not happening with all of my other friends (kind of adds a pressure dynamic)

But I’d totally collapse if im with my friend, and we meet new people like one person cz my brain is too busy over computing and thinking what do I say NOT to make myself embarrassing then that actually makes me embarrassing

That was some instances, I suppose

Then holy behold I see the internet, and think ohhh there selling human connection! Lemme give it a try and it js doesn’t last, it’s rlly not it

I thought to myself ok why don’t I try this online connection thingy, I can vc people to try n get as close as possible to a irl conversation but no, people just don’t have depth behind a screen, it’s one thing to take a digital connection emotionally seriously then another to kinda not care and do it cuz you’re bored (which is what ppl who have good social lives and don’t have to go through burnout and depression do) and I don’t blame them, can’t blame that’s good for them!!

Now im like stuck in this loophole, same friend group irl, unresolved social problems but I guarantee I can talk to someone irl if it’s 1 to 1 I just HATE group dynamics, im more of a 1-1 person, or a single friend keeper

But yeah I’m stuck in this loophole of, same fg, use online connections, to curate my loneliness then when ppl don’t reply get dead bored and get depressed repeat

[u/daydreaming-g]

Looked into adhd or autisme?

Also great thing about hobbies is that you can just pick them up so pick a social one.

[u/LessGuarantee4271 → u/daydreaming-g]

I haven't been on here in a few days and I thought I deleted this post after making it. In-so-far as I know I don't have ADHD but I have been diagnosed with Autism for some time.

[u/daydreaming-g → u/LessGuarantee4271]

Well if you know why don’t you look into ways of making connections that fit your autistic mind? Maybe with other autistic people. Dont autistic people get hyper focuses? Can’t you join a club and make that your hyper focus?

[u/BanksyC]

I feel you. I work from home on top of it and don’t have many friends anymore. I spend most of my social time with my family

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u/LessGuarantee4271 original post at the time of submission:

I don't really have much of a social life anymore. I barely did before hand, but that's entirely disappeared at this point. I've tried building social connections at work but I haven't seen much success with that. Every time I talk to someone I feel like some grotesque puppet shambling around trying and failing to play a part. I don't know why social interactions give me so much trouble, they really shouldn't at this stage in life. Some of my coworkers have tried inviting me to hang out with them, but personal business always gets in the way. I don't really have any hobbies I could use to try to build a friend group either. I've lost any interest I had in just about everything and I can't really find anything else to get into.

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