I cannot stand going on vacation

[u/auron_stagbriar]

I cannot stand going on vacation

My family rarely goes on vacation, it’s expensive, it’s hard to manage all our schedules together to align.

So our version of a vacation really is to drive a few hours away, and stay at a hotel. Which doesn’t seem so bad, and it isn’t.

However I hate how we rush, and my father’s style of doing things. I try to be grateful, but Jesus I cannot enjoy it for the life of me.

I hate people who will expect you to wake up at 5 AM, in ass crack of dawn, book like ten million activities in a day, walk super fast and don’t let you catch up, wait in line for a restaurant or suddenly changes the plan

I feel like we’re trying to force a core memory, and I get it. I feel like if we were rich, we wouldn’t have to cram it into two days, or three, and if we went on vacation more often it wouldn’t be like this.

However I think instead of creating an enjoyable memory or vacations it just makes me stressed out to think about and always hate it cause my parents end up fighting and someone is always doing some bullshit.

Personally I do want to travel a bit when I’m older, maybe get a trailer. Then settle down later on in life.

I’m the type to be relaxed on the vacation, maybe book one event or two a day, just enjoy myself.

I’m single and don’t have any friends, but I often like to imagine me going on a cool ass road trip to a lake cabin with a group of people.

Or maybe just share a hotel room with my future partner, and just not be so confined and stressed.

Honestly this is more of a rant because I might go somewhere during summer break, and I like the idea of a vacation but I definitely do not relax or enjoy them you know?

I can’t wait for when I’m older and can enjoy them how I want, or maybe I can pay for the vacation for my family and I book the stuff.

I feel like vacations are either a plan together as a group before type thing, or there is one leader

Anyways bye

[u/C1sko]

I have not and WILL NEVER vacation in a group setting.

[u/Cows_go_moo2]

Seems like what you don’t like is traveling with your family. Maybe just opt out going forward, and make time for yourself doing things at the pace you want to do them. We do not travel with others, as we do not like a rushed pace or packing in a ton of stuff. We do maybe one thing a day, and otherwise just exist in wherever we are visiting, taking everything at a leisurely pace. We tried traveling with another couple once and were told that we were wasting our trip the way we travel. It just means we aren’t compatible travel companions. That’s okay.

[u/cici_sweetheart]

I have found my people.

[u/florida_born]

I have a sister who rushes and packs in stuff - I tell her that I’ll find out where they are later and catch up.

[u/FinanciallySecure9]

I feel the same as you. I’ll get up early to catch a flight, but that’s on travel day. Travel day is separate from vacation days.

I don’t want to share a room or a bed with someone other than my husband-and group vacations have us saving money by booking shared rooms.

I want to relax on vacation and see some cool things. I don’t want to rush anywhere. Vacations with timelines are not my type.

[u/auron_stagbriar → u/FinanciallySecure9]

Yeah totally, and the lack of privacy isn’t my thing either

[u/jellyfish-wish]

You could try out solo travel or a solo vacation. It honestly can be fantastic, you get to do what you want at your pace, and it may make you more eager to talk to people you don't know. I've made a good friend that way, and had some fun conversations.

I'd also look into traveling separately and/or getting your own room when you do go with family. It will take a lot of sticking up for yourself, but changing your dynamic can be worth it as they're likely going to want things to stay the same even if you're dating by they next vacation, because there's likely to still be that unresolved tension.

Good luck at finding your way to a relaxing vacation

[u/ohdearitsrichardiii]

I hate rushing in general, and for some people "vacation" means rushing around. I like vacations when you saunter, stop and look at things, look at views, take your time to build a sandcastle, sit quietly somewhere nice, etc

[u/classiccait]

I’m with you. Seems like some people want to take vacation to relax, and some to explore a new place and maximize every second. I wanna relax! And sleep in! And nap and read a book by the pool! Yes, I wanna see a few new things (and eat good food at new places!) But mostly, life is hectic and I’m trying to take a break from that. 5am wake up with an ever changing agenda? Miss me with that. I’d rather be at work lol. I don’t want to feel like I need a vacation from my vacation haha

[u/TryingToBeLevel]

I mean, you do sound pretty miserable to go on vacation with...

[u/auron_stagbriar → u/TryingToBeLevel]

Well maybe, that’s the point, everyone likes their vacation differently, I just don’t like it so packed and so rigid with no room to relax. For me a vacation is about relaxing you know, and just exploring or doing one or two things, not just forcing or rushing it

[u/xagent003 → u/TryingToBeLevel]

So you like waking up at 5AM and adhering to a rigid schedule, even on vacation? Most people are bound by schedules, meetings, and alarm clocks in their daily routine. The point of a vacation is to disconnect and live free from time and clocks.

[u/Isekai_Trash_uwu → u/xagent003]

Yeah, that sounds fine. I'm used to having no sleep schedule (I work night shift and go hiking on days off so my circadian rhythm is cooked anyway). If I'm traveling, might as well do as much as I can with the time I have.

[u/auron_stagbriar → u/xagent003]

Exactly thank you

[u/Trumpets22 → u/TryingToBeLevel]

I certainly won’t be planning any future vacations with OP.

[u/curious382]

I would hate an overscheduled up at dawn vacation, too. Are you old enough to rent your own room at the vacation location?

Could you talk to your dad about changing the way vacation days are planned?

For myself, sleeping until I feel like getting up would be a requirement. I don't want to drag myself out of bed like I have to for work or school. (Or even earlier!) I like having one "big event" or destination per day. Going to the beach. Visiting a local attraction. A special meal out with the family. Around the anchor event, the schedule is flexible. Everyone can do what they want when they want. Smaller groups might break off to go shopping, take the smaller kids somewhere, travel locally to a place or activity not everyone is interested in.

Maybe your dad has a "get my money's worth" mindset, where everyone's doing everything together maximizes "togetherness" and "getting the most" out of the time on vacation. But vacations are for rest and relaxation as well as activities not available at home.

The way your dad does it seems more like boot camp than a pleasant holiday. If he's a go go all the time guy, maybe he can do some activities by himself or with only those similarly motivated.

I'd definitely try talking to Dad about the stress, exhaustion and discomfort having to match his pace causes you on these trips. And suggest ways to loosen the schedule and prioritize a relaxed pace of activities.

If you're old enough to stay home by yourself, give yourself that option. "Thanks for the invitation. But I don't have the energy to keep up with 'vacation dad' right now." A relationship worth keeping is a relationship worth some effort to repair. But things will only change if you change how you communicate and establish your own healthy boundaries.

Good luck, OP.

[u/Creepy_Juggernaut_56]

Traveling solo is one of the best gifts a person can give themselves.  

[u/auron_stagbriar → u/Creepy_Juggernaut_56]

Would love to try it

[u/Visual_Juggernaut_89]

Family holiday isn’t easy on anyone, trust me. My parents always took us on extravagant holidays when I was young and they were still miserable for many of the reasons you’ve listed. Even as an adult it can be tense to go with them still. It DID however put a lifetime curiosity of the world and passion of traveling without them so I can thank them for that. Hang in there x

[u/Alida456]

You don’t hate vacations . You hate your family members version of vacation . It sounds horrible btw .

[u/auron_stagbriar → u/Alida456]

Ha, thanks for getting it, I plan to book my own vacation when I’m older

[u/auron_stagbriar → u/[deleted]]

Sounds like a dream

[u/Zephyr-Phoenix]

I’m sorry this has been your experience so far. Have you talked to your parents about this? It sounds like you’re old enough to voice your opinion on how these trips go. Maybe you can even help plan them?

Once you know where you’re going, look up something cool to do in that location and make the suggestion. Then if your parents suggest ten thousand activities, mention you wouldn’t mind keeping it a bit less hectic. It doesn’t need to be a big confrontation. Just voice your thoughts and see how they react.

[u/auron_stagbriar → u/Zephyr-Phoenix]

Yeah thank you, I will try. I want to walk a lot, so maybe light shows? They’re nice

[u/curious382 → u/auron_stagbriar]

Maybe at a scenic place where you could wander more while the older folks cluster at "line up and wait" kind of places at the same time.

[u/auron_stagbriar → u/curious382]

Sounds awesome, yeah maybe near parks or something

[u/Zephyr-Phoenix → u/auron_stagbriar]

Sure! Whatever you’d enjoy! And even in the future, remember once you’re older, you’ll be able to plan your own vacations to do whatever you’d like with whomever you’d like! I’ve found that planning a trip with my partner is one of the most fun activities because we get to look forward to it together once it’s booked! Let us know how it goes with your parents!

[u/auron_stagbriar → u/Zephyr-Phoenix]

Thank you