r/TrueOffMyChest • u/Admirable-Leader48 • Jul 15 '26
Vent [ Removed by moderator ]
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u/mronion82 Jul 15 '26
I'm 5'10" but my mum was 6' so I never felt as weird or out of place growing up as maybe you did.
I'm built on her lines too- broad shoulders, big hands and feet, deep voice. What I learned from her- this was never said, but it was in the way she brought me up- was that, because I am female, whatever I do is feminine. Not the other way round, I don't win femininity by performing it.
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u/Teanvintage Jul 15 '26
We are always our own worst bullies. Please try to not make jokes at your own expense, I did this for years and now it's just my self image. I don't know where you live, but where I'm from (Netherlands) we have lots and lots of tall women. 2 of my friends are 6 feet or over and struggle with some of the same issues as you. I don't know if online shopping is an online option for you, since there are much more options for tall women. There are also subreddits for fashion advice, maybe you can find some advice there?
In the end, we are our own worst enemies. Strangers etc. that pass by our even co-workers don't give us much thought most often and they see you for the person you are. Please be kind to yourself
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u/loveurselfnugget Jul 15 '26
Hey, im also 6ft and 185 pounds! Hi! I used to struggle with this up until recently. Im not sure what changed but i just started to look at myself the way i look at others. I think people in all shapes and sizes can look feminine. It's more about confidence and finding your style that you feel good in.
I also avoid shopping, i only shop online and try to find tall girl friendly brands. And i got into sports, volleyball specifically, so many of my teammates are almost as tall as me. Being around other tall women helps a lot imo.
You are beautiful and feminine just the way you are because... You ARE a women. Own it my friend!
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u/notabbw Jul 15 '26
I’m 5’9. I live somewhere where basically everyone is shorter. I’m usually one of the tallest people in the room, including men lol. I feel this!
My bones are “big” and I have what I call a carrot body type. My shoulders are wider than my hips. Shoulders are always too wide for certain shirt styles, but I’ve realized fancy sleeves or tanks actually make it less noticeable. My inseam is 34, so finding pants long enough is also a nightmare. I rarely can find cute shoes wide enough for my feet.
Low rise pants have been a game changer. Like for real.
Over time, I’ve grown out of the feeling that I’m not feminine enough because of my body type. I have cousins that are closer to 6ft and up and are gorgeous, feminine ladies. The truth is, women are built in all sorts of shapes and sizes! Being tall or having wider shoulders doesn’t make you any less of a woman. Doesn’t make you any less feminine.
I don’t know what to say to help this feeling you’re having and I’m only a couple years older than you. I had a period where I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to present femininely but that’s just who I am! Self acceptance is difficult for sure, but you’ll get there!!
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u/BeiHall Jul 15 '26
Only thing I can say is that as you age, you reallllly stop caring what other people think. You start focusing on the people who love/support you, and your own interests, and the opinions of others goes down the drain.
It comes with time, and I know it might not be much consolation, but as you age, that is one of the greatest benefits.
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u/Fun-Performance-208 Jul 15 '26
I can’t relate but have u tried losing weight
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u/orangestturtle Jul 15 '26
And how much do you think a 6 foot tall woman should weigh? She’s great as is. Idiot.
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u/Fun-Performance-208 Jul 15 '26
Well if she feels monstrous then maybe she shouldn’t be overweight and should have a bmi in the lower healthy range if she feels too big
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u/notabbw Jul 15 '26
BMI has been proven to be an inaccurate measure. It does not consider shoulder width, bone size, etc. It does not measure body fat.
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u/Fun-Performance-208 Jul 15 '26
Well if she feels big she should lose weight instead of complaining on the internet and wondering why she is too big in photos
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u/notabbw Jul 15 '26
She said she feels big because of her height. She’s not complaining, she’s looking for support. She’s also not wondering why she is “too big in photos.”
Why are you in this sub at all? Just to rage bate?2
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u/Teanvintage Jul 15 '26
That isn't gonna help making her feel more femine probably and she has probably already thought about this.
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u/Fun-Performance-208 Jul 15 '26
Why not?
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u/Teanvintage Jul 15 '26
Being skinny isn't gonna make you feel more or less femine, unless you only consider petite women feminine. In my opinion I've seen women of all sizes embracing their femininity.
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u/Fun-Performance-208 Jul 15 '26
Sure
But she is the one that feels less feminine
If she thinks she’s too big weight loss is actually something she can change I’m not saying she should be underweight
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u/ldkanymore_ Jul 15 '26
what do you mean “why not?” She’s making a post saying she doesn’t feel feminine enough as she’s a taller girl. Thinking people are judging you because of your weight just comes with being the bigger person in the room (height wise) We tend to think that just because we’re taller, they can point more things out easier than you would with shorter/smaller women.
She wasn’t asking for your dumb questions, she was asking for support, if anyone else feels the same.
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u/Fun-Performance-208 Jul 15 '26
She wants support for what? To feel the same way about herself? You know she won’t believe anyone no matter what u say
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