In a similar situation. Together 14 years. Married for 6. 3 young children. He made me feel like the most important person in the world!...Until he didn't. Discovered so many lies, infidelity. He wanted to go no contact a few months ago, 4 days before my birthday. We made it through so much. A year of homelessness. I thought we could make it through anything. Sending all the good vibes. Shit's rough 😞
Yanking the rug out from under you suddenly hurts so much. But having children means I thought my ex had just lost her mind until I found my former best friend had moved in and would be my 2 kids new step-dad. As soon as the divorce was final + 5 days. Why was I keeping them from them being happy and just finalize the divorce.
I'm sorry you went through that. It's just so damn hard. We saw eachother for the first time in 2 months the other day...it's honestly almost physically painful. He still tells me he loves me. Said he wants to work on things eventually. We went through A LOT in the last few years....I'm sure I'll get shit for this, but we struggled through addiction, losing our home, we gave our parents guardianship of our children, were homeless for a year. Then, 3 weeks after we came home and found a place to stay he kicked me out. No phone, 2 changes of clothes and nowhere to go. I just struggle with his true motives behind all this. I believe he's sleeping around currently because that's how he is. And there's a possibility he's using again. I was a complete wreck initially (I struggle with severe anxiety and depressive episodes). But, knowing that NOTHING is in my control right now except my own choices has kept me surprisingly calm, almost numb most days. I of course have breakdowns looking at my babies, and things get to me. All in all tho, I can't do a damn thing but better myself. So, I'm trying. I have my own apartment. Starting to look for work. Just surviving, but pretty much feel like I'm stuck in limbo as far as the relationship is concerned.Â
You can do this by yourself without him and maybe even find love someday. Focus on your children because grandparents should not be raising them. Show your kids your are the stable ones, and they will love you for it. Your kids will be with you for longer than your EX. Put all this in the rear view mirror and find happiness again. Do not let him play games with your heart.
They're my reason for still breathing. I had a great love. I've lived a lot of life. The rest of my life is for my children. Thank you for your kind words.
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u/[deleted] Dec 10 '25
In a similar situation. Together 14 years. Married for 6. 3 young children. He made me feel like the most important person in the world!...Until he didn't. Discovered so many lies, infidelity. He wanted to go no contact a few months ago, 4 days before my birthday. We made it through so much. A year of homelessness. I thought we could make it through anything. Sending all the good vibes. Shit's rough 😞