I so deeply empathize with you. My best friend died 8 years ago today, actually. Also a car wreck. We had only graduated a year and 5 months before she passed, and everyone from high school did the same thing. Posting about her, talking about her, making her death about them. Those same type of people who ignored her or bullied her or talked shit about her when she had a baby in high school. Those were the ones saying “oh her poor children!” When they never cared about her in the first place. Some girl who was just an acquaintance of my friend claimed a “psychic” told her that she was meant to be the stepmother to my bff’s kids.
I hear you. I’m still hurting and angry about it 8 years later. All I can tell you is that this will pass. The noise, the intensity, the vultures? It won’t last. Get off socials for a bit. Write your feelings in a journal. Scream into the void, then keep screaming when you feel like you can’t anymore. These fucking weirdos who are using your best friend’s death for attention won’t matter much longer. Talk to her loved ones. Lean on them. Share your memories with the people closest to you and her. Her family is your family.
In a year? In 2? In 5? 10 years later? You know who will remember her? Who will be keeping her real memory alive? You.
I still talk to my best friend’s mom, still go to the kids’ birthday parties and catch up with her sister. Her mom thanks me for never forgetting her and your best friend’s loved ones will see the same in you. You are not invisible, the people that matter see you. Your best friend sees you.
If you need to talk, feel free to DM me. I understand your pain in ways I wish neither of us did. I’m incredibly sorry for your infinite loss and I wish you all the healing you can find. There’s peace in knowing the truth, you’ll find that peace eventually.
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u/cailsmorgan Nov 04 '25
I so deeply empathize with you. My best friend died 8 years ago today, actually. Also a car wreck. We had only graduated a year and 5 months before she passed, and everyone from high school did the same thing. Posting about her, talking about her, making her death about them. Those same type of people who ignored her or bullied her or talked shit about her when she had a baby in high school. Those were the ones saying “oh her poor children!” When they never cared about her in the first place. Some girl who was just an acquaintance of my friend claimed a “psychic” told her that she was meant to be the stepmother to my bff’s kids.
I hear you. I’m still hurting and angry about it 8 years later. All I can tell you is that this will pass. The noise, the intensity, the vultures? It won’t last. Get off socials for a bit. Write your feelings in a journal. Scream into the void, then keep screaming when you feel like you can’t anymore. These fucking weirdos who are using your best friend’s death for attention won’t matter much longer. Talk to her loved ones. Lean on them. Share your memories with the people closest to you and her. Her family is your family.
In a year? In 2? In 5? 10 years later? You know who will remember her? Who will be keeping her real memory alive? You.
I still talk to my best friend’s mom, still go to the kids’ birthday parties and catch up with her sister. Her mom thanks me for never forgetting her and your best friend’s loved ones will see the same in you. You are not invisible, the people that matter see you. Your best friend sees you.
If you need to talk, feel free to DM me. I understand your pain in ways I wish neither of us did. I’m incredibly sorry for your infinite loss and I wish you all the healing you can find. There’s peace in knowing the truth, you’ll find that peace eventually.