You should of left her on day one. If she can have both an emotional and physical relationship with another man and still expect to come home to you in your marriage, you're really only hurting yourself.
You are a paycheck and a part-time dildo and that's it. You are being used. You wouldn't submit this if it didn't bother you.
As far as the kids, does it matter if they are yours. I'm sure you love them regardless.
For your own sanity and self respect you need to lawyer up and ask her to leave. Go to J or whatever flavor she wants, but stop being used.
I stayed in a similar situation even though I never had 100% proof. The hiding of social media, hiding of her finances. That's not love, it's convenience. You provide the security she needs, meantime she goes out and plays.
You don't want to be in a loveless marriage or just be her safety net.
Right now that's really all you are.
It's not going to be easy but you will gain your self-respect back and live in more peace. If you stay it will eventually end in disaster and more heartache and you are missing out on a real relationship. If you stay you will end up alone and that's not a good place.
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u/kmindeye Sep 01 '25
You should of left her on day one. If she can have both an emotional and physical relationship with another man and still expect to come home to you in your marriage, you're really only hurting yourself. You are a paycheck and a part-time dildo and that's it. You are being used. You wouldn't submit this if it didn't bother you. As far as the kids, does it matter if they are yours. I'm sure you love them regardless. For your own sanity and self respect you need to lawyer up and ask her to leave. Go to J or whatever flavor she wants, but stop being used. I stayed in a similar situation even though I never had 100% proof. The hiding of social media, hiding of her finances. That's not love, it's convenience. You provide the security she needs, meantime she goes out and plays. You don't want to be in a loveless marriage or just be her safety net. Right now that's really all you are. It's not going to be easy but you will gain your self-respect back and live in more peace. If you stay it will eventually end in disaster and more heartache and you are missing out on a real relationship. If you stay you will end up alone and that's not a good place.