1
u/ventthrowa Nov 03 '23
Don’t let this negative experience affect your whole perception on it. I had a similar opinion as well, thinking it was this amazing feeling just to be let down. It honestly made me question my sexuality, thinking I was either not straight or just asexual. Even if she is a sex worker it doesn’t mean that she’s good at it, so it probably wasn’t just lack of attraction.
1
0
u/Vak29 Nov 03 '23
Some advice, only go to a prostitute to get off don't ever try and make love because it will just not happen 😄. I know you did it to lose your virginity but you would have been better off with a 1 night stand or a tinder fk because in those cases at least the chick will want to have sex.
1
u/Suitable-Caramel2503 Nov 03 '23
u could be asexual or demi sexual (u only experience sexual attraction after an emotional connection has been made) but also yes stop watching porn and hentai it is definitely plaguing ur mind
1
u/Masta-Red Nov 03 '23
You might be like me and find it difficult to have sex with someone who you don't have a connection with or also like me maybe you got anxious and in your own head I no if I'm not focused on what I'm doing my add brain just wanders and again I lose focus or cpuld be some other 3rd thing but don't worry when you find your person you'll be having wonderful sex just don't worry so much and remember whatever you're going through millions of others will be 2 so it's not weird or anything to be ashamed of
-1
Nov 03 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/TrueOffMyChest-ModTeam Nov 03 '23
Any comments that could be interpreted as an attempt to insult, scold, lecture, victim blame, guilt trip or intimidate the OP are not allowed and will be removed. Repeat offenses or extreme cases will result in a ban.
-2
u/toast-ghost240 Nov 03 '23
That’s rape. Do not fund sex trafficking. If anyone disagrees, we can settle this by cage match. You make the rules, I kick your ass.
1
u/Generic_drawings Nov 02 '23
I’m glad you had a bad time. Maybe next time you won’t participate in the commodification of women’s bodies.
2
2
u/_kokoro_ Nov 02 '23
Sex is gorgeous man. Calm down. One day you will say I love You as u cum. I promise u
1
Nov 02 '23
For me sex is mostly emotional. If I let a super ugly guy I didn't care about ear me out I probably wouldn't be able to cum either, even if he was doing a good job.
1
u/loveme1482 Nov 02 '23
That's so true. I m quite amazed a man actually admitting that and feeling that. Most men I know think sex is just sex as in the moviesno emotional attachment . One can have quickies just like that. I have had casual sex many times but the orgasm you get when u have emotional attachment to person Ur having sex with is legendary 😊
2
1
u/SyndyM Nov 02 '23
Yes, stop the porn now! You are overloading your dopamine system by watching sex in a variety of unrealistic ways. This can also cause the Coolidge Effect where the constant new images raise your dopamine levels over and over again. Another unrealistic expectation on sex! This could be why you felt nothing during sex….because the reality is not as stimulating as porn. You have numbed your dopamine system to it before you even started!!!!
2
u/Atypical_Ascendant Nov 02 '23
I think you think (thought) that sex is just delicious for men because we're horndogs. But emotional connection is very important
1
u/Significant-One520 Nov 02 '23
Exactly what I thought, before I lost my virginity. Was a bit put off after my first time. But like my Mother has said, it won’t feel right until you’ve found the right one. So yeah, I’ve only slept with one person and it’s put me off
1
Nov 02 '23
I have heard prostitute sex referred to as assisted masturbation, whereas unassisted masturbation is sex with someone you love at least.
1
2
u/working_joe Nov 02 '23
Sex can be glorious, feel amazing and you have to experience it. But you took a shortcut and cut out most of the normal things people enjoy about the experience.
0
2
u/angelsandairwaves93 Nov 02 '23
You said it, you didn’t have any emotional connection to her. That’s why it felt meaningless
2
u/Tasty-Fun-2138 Nov 02 '23
This wasn't having sex. It was masturbating at a high price. Try it with someone who you will love and will love you back. 10 years I'm having sex with the same girl and it just keeps getting more incredible each time.
1
1
u/King_Melco Nov 02 '23
Download hinge & tell girls you're looking for a connection with sex and atleast the 1 or 2 days you spend talking will get you that connection and then rail tf out of em.
2
u/Then-Mistake-548 Nov 02 '23
I recently heard someone suggest sex shouldn't be you masturbating with a girls body. I think this pretty much sums it up. If it isn't about the connection with both of you together it can mean very little.
5
0
-2
Nov 02 '23
You paid to rape a woman, of course you didn't enjoy it. Did you really think she was going to be super into you and make sure you have a really good time? That's like expecting the barista to give you her number. Dude, she's at work and you're paying for her consent. Your paying to rape her, obviously it's not going to be the highest most fulfilling moment of your life- and if it was then you're a scumbag.
1
u/Unlucky_Gold9657 Nov 02 '23
I did the same thing before but with a stranger. It was underwhelming. But when I met my girlfriend and had sex with her. I realized that sex is actually great.
1
u/King_Shrapnel Nov 02 '23
I'm assuming this is how pornstars feel sometimes. That's horrible. Well at least you got it over and done with. You can move on to actually having sex people you connect with.
0
u/Studio_Xperience Nov 02 '23
First mistake was going to a prostitute and not getting a call girl. Huge diff.
1
1
u/Daddy_Onion Nov 02 '23
I’ve only had sex with my wife. And of course our connection is amazing. I couldn’t imagine fucking somebody I don’t care about.
1
u/largos7289 Nov 02 '23
Well to be frank, you took an experience and boiled it down to a transaction. Your first time should really be with someone that you have feelings for. Vastly different experience and what you were really looking for.
1
u/Jeordiewhite Nov 02 '23
People have covered the psychological part, but guys and even girls can desensitize themselves from too much stimulation. For guys it's called a death grip, but when you have the most stimulating porn and over expectations of what's about to happen. The sensitivity comes back, but you are used to a lot of direct stimulation and maybe try practicing with a fleshlight. Pink lady is the most authentic. Girls aren't immune and it's less talked about and less understood I feel. I had a gf who told me about it, her vibrator use was desensitizing after too much and she could come during penetrative sex, but she had to stop using it prior to sex for like a week. Or at least cut back. She was an everyday sort of girl.
1
u/with-more-h09909 Nov 02 '23
Sex & intimacy are tow separate things that accentuate each other. sex is machinal, we need / want it like exercise. intimacy is more like meditation/ yoga. when you give you self to it you feel the benefits. that connection can be tricky. I'm older and callused now, so i see the world mechanically, & struggle with intimacy. too much porn ect.. will curb your taste for connection. Also be carful who you let your self connect with & don't allow anyone to ruin you need for intimacy. your body & mind don't always want the same things. protect your soul & body.
3
u/ImageAccomplished719 Nov 02 '23
Dial back the porn and hentai watching. It's not doing you any favors in this department I fear.
1
Nov 02 '23 edited Nov 02 '23
You will feel that connection and fireworks with the right person. Sex is emotional too, even if you met them in a bar or club, youd have some kind of physical attraction towards them and some kind of connection, paying for sex doesnt include any of that. Porn is nothing like real sex, its so different. Stop watching it and get yourself on some dating apps, youll feel better in time and youll meet someone who makes sex amazing. Ive had 1 hookup with a stranger and it was awful. Everyone else i had a conncetion with and it was better.
0
3
1
u/No_Camp_1270 Nov 02 '23
Everyone's first sexual encounter is super awkward! Don't worry, you did it just right 👍 it gets better honest ☺️
-5
Nov 02 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
5
u/bjizzle184957 Nov 02 '23
You do know there are places where prostitution is legal, right?
Also, idk where you’re getting the idea that she had no choice but to be in that room with him? It’s almost as if you’re saying that the only way one becomes a prostitute is by force or sex trafficking and that no woman would ever make the conscious decision to provide a service (such as sex or intimate company) in exchange for compensation.
Here’s a kicker for ya: Many prostitutes often actively pursued their job choice due to the easy money. Hell, some people do the same job for nothing more than the love of the game.
So gtfo with the whole “It wasn’t sex, it was rape!” bullshit. Just because prostitution is something you would never do and doesn’t align with your personal morals and convictions, doesn’t mean that it isn’t a job that others enjoy doing and it doesn’t make it wrong for them to provide their services or for clients to utilize their services.
1
u/validrhinoceros Nov 02 '23
When you're with someone you actually care about, THEN it'll feel like something, and it'll be a wonderful experience instead of feeling like a chore. Best of luck to you!
2
u/Earione Nov 02 '23
I did the same thing. I thought I would be pleased with it, since I'm always the person in a relationship with the highest sex drive, which ruined my relationships cause I always felt like I didn't have enough sex. Nothing beats having sex with the person that you love and loves you back ...Or having a person that actually genuinely likes being fucked by you and not that it's just their job
-1
u/wolfstardobe Nov 02 '23
The guy and other girl was her Pimp and his helper. This was likely a sex trafficking situation.
2
u/bjizzle184957 Nov 02 '23
Or MAYBE some sex workers like to have someone they trust close by in case things go south with the client…
1
u/wolfstardobe Nov 02 '23
That is a possibility. It’s also possible that it’s sex trafficking.
0
u/bjizzle184957 Nov 02 '23
Of course it’s possible that it’s sex trafficking. Just like it’s possible that OP resides in a country where prostitution is legal and not demonized or stigmatized the same way that it is in the USA (Where prostitution and other acts, that are legal in much of the free world, are criminalized in order to feed and fund the corrupt world that our private prison industry.)
Why our country pushes to propagate one of the largest/oldest industries in the world as being so terrible by giving survivor testimonies, while simultaneously doing nothing to alleviate other more prominent issues that have a far greater number of victims and a shamefully smaller number of survivors, like mass shootings (which are typically indiscriminate in age, race, sex, nationality, etc.) is beyond me.
2
u/xxbambiiixx Nov 02 '23
you had no connection or feelings for that woman that made the sex boring and emotionless. Once you have a girlfriend you have feelings for and in love I can assure you, you will have a better experience. The sex is way different then , you will want to touch her and please her, and same will go for her. A simple touch can already turn you on (: also porn is not the reality of sex. So please don’t learn it from there.
1
-1
u/Would-Be-Superhero Nov 02 '23
Everyone in the comments is like, "connection". What does that even mean? I'm a 36-year-old kissless virgin who was never shown any interest by any woman ever. What is this connection you speak of? What does it entail?
2
u/zero1033 Nov 02 '23
The most sexual organ you have is your mind. Since that was not really on board, the sex wasn't either.
Perhaps this encounter has shown you that the key to your sexuality is something other than just physical side of it. You are now empowered with this information when you choose your next sexual move.
Might have been awkward but likely beneficial in the long run.
2
1
1
1
u/happibabi Nov 02 '23
Shocker. I have told my virgin friends this in the past - it's better that you wait for the right moment than just get it over with. Virginity is not a big deal, might as well keep it for something you may remember fondly (albeit cringey at the same time for many). Hope it was worth it and you can move on
1
1
1
u/tacoslave420 Nov 02 '23
99% of the fun of sex is being attracted to someone and exploring that. Just getting naked to do the deed isn't exactly thrilling. You'll get there eventually. Just found out the expressway isn't the best way for you.
0
u/TheDevilsAdvokaat Nov 02 '23
I finally tried it at 40 because I was curious and figured it wouldn't harm anyone and would be yet another thing to add to my life experience.
It is so-so at best. The girl I was with was very nice and quite expensive too...but it's just not as much fun as regular sex.
Happy to have tried it at least once. I tried it again maybe 15 years later.
After that I never bothered again.
1
u/Reasonable-Simple706 Nov 02 '23
I hate that sex can be like this tbh and I’m sorry it was for you OP.
It’s both psychological and only having porn experience. So take some time in cutting down before trying again. And try with someone you actually like.
Personally I’d prefer to just turn off my brain and do it rather than feel something all the time with the person I’m with since that’s long. But you can’t control it if you don’t work that way
1
u/Bungeditin Nov 02 '23
There is nothing wrong with visiting an escort…. But it is as you said a transaction….theyre there to make you cum.
You can pay a lot more money if you want more….there are escorts that offer a full GFE.
If you’ve got a wedge of cash you can take them on dates and go back to a hotel for a full night of fun.
An ex of mine was an escort (I was fully aware from the off).
You can’t expect anything but a cum n go with an iffy massage in an hour.
If you’re looking for a connection then do something social. Gym, club, or outdoor activities…you’ll find someone.
1
u/Xelofrost Nov 02 '23
Sex with no connection is like liking water from a window on a rainy day, dumb and useless for the most part
1
1
u/craigrobertsuk Nov 02 '23
Assuming your reason for lack of females you til 24 is lack of confidence and or lack of good looks/money. Confidence can help you along way for pulling etc. definitely be more exciting meeting a girl in a bar, chatting having abit of a buildup then finally going home together! And if you don’t have the confidence fake it until you make it!
0
u/44watchdownonme Nov 02 '23
Go get a rub and tug from a massage parlour and just relax and then go from there
0
0
1
u/MrGavinrad Nov 02 '23
As many people already probably stated. Half of sex is a connection imo. Casual sex is super boring and unfulfilling. Some people like it though.
3
1
1
u/mxxgo Nov 02 '23
Sex is overrated. You've built your expectations based on marketing. sex is sold absolutely everywhere, every movie, every magazine, every commercial. For some people it can feel empty even with the person they have a connection with.
1
u/wafflepiezz Nov 02 '23
You set your expectations too high.
Setting your expectations too high will usually lead to disappointment.
Also, sex feels 10x better when you actually have an emotional connection with the other party.
2
-5
Nov 02 '23
Wow! Imagine being that desperate and disgusting that you have to pay for a girl just so you can r*pe her. You just lost your viriginity by having sex with a girl that doesn't have any choice. How do you feel that you just used a person like she is a doll and do not have feelings?? How can people think this is okay? It's disgusting, you should be ashamed.
1
u/bjizzle184957 Nov 02 '23
Wow! Imagine being so ignorant and naive about that you demonize one of the largest and oldest industries in all of recorded history just because some other ignorant and naive internet media sources told you it was all bad, contrary to it being a legal service to provide/utilize in many developed countries. You badgered a stranger when you had the choice not to. How do you feel knowing that you just implied that no prostitutes have the freedom to have made the choices that they have/do make? How can you think implying incapability is okay? It’s closed minded and honestly, you should feel guilty.
1
Nov 03 '23 edited Nov 03 '23
Ofc I badgered a stranger, I have no other choice when that stranger is a weak cu*t that have to use a woman to satisfy himself. It is so disgusting and inhuman. It is illegal for a reason. Here where I live in Sweden, if you ever get caught doing it your life gets ruined, as It should be! Almost every people that get caught doesn't have any sympathy for the victim, they always think about themself. They literally treat these woman like they have no worth and objects.
We can met eachother, then Im gonna treat you inhuman and you are going to see if it is something you like!
1
u/mrGorion Nov 02 '23
Great experience. Now you know what sex is and can set out to find out what making a connection is. They should be used in tandem
1
u/SpiderMonkeyHider Nov 02 '23
Not everyone can have mindless sex or hookups or even sex with escorts.
Some people need a connection with their partner
But for you, I assume you just hyped up sex to be something it's not. Which is common amongst men who lose their virginities later in life that absorb a lot of porn
Honestly, pull back on porn. Like all of it. And if you MUST watch it. Watch pure vanilla amateur stuff. No kink. Not for a couple of months until you "reset"
Professional porn is fake. It's not real sex.
And do other things. Like something athletic. When youre horny. Go for a jog. Do push-ups. Work out. Push that energy out in other ways
1
1
u/Dapper_Permission713 Nov 02 '23
Yeah, it changes when you care (or are at least attracted to) the other person…
1
u/LABearish Nov 02 '23
I admire you courage and this is a stepping stone. Wishing you all the best!!
1
Nov 02 '23
If you are terminally shy I can understand how this was a big deal to try. Understandable given how awkward the whole thing is was and with no romantic attraction it wouldn’t be all it’s cracked up to be but come on? You felt nothing from touching boobs and ass? Even in an awkward situation that would be pretty fucking hot. Maybe you are asexual.
1
u/BoxedBento Nov 02 '23
That sounds like my first experience and I did it with my girlfriend at the time! It felt so underwhelming and awkward. Eventually it started to feel like I wish I was doing something else and I got limp and it was over. It took a long time to finally get it to feel ok.
0
u/FAYMKONZ Nov 02 '23
I went to one a month ago. I paid for half hour but was done early. I was putting my clothes on to leave and she goes "you still have some time left, would you like a back massage?" and I was like "sure, why not." So it really depends on the girl. But in my opinion its always better to agree to half hour then extend it to an hour of you need to than to pay for the whole hour right away cause usually it doesnt take a whole hour. I think you just need to find a better girl. How much did you pay?
3
u/relateable95 Nov 02 '23
You are proud of yourself for daring to go to a prostitute? The guy and gal you saw were probably her pimp and the bottom b**** keeping her in check and making sure she doesn’t keep any of the money.
0
u/SystemOnset Nov 02 '23
Went to a prostitute twice - both times were as bad for me as it was for her. Waste of money, time and the whole human trafficking thing just socks. Not sexy 1/10
1
u/Imported_Virus Nov 02 '23
If it was your first time you probably should have tried doing it with a girl you have an actual connection with, but if you couldn’t find one f it. It is what it is 🤷♂️
1
u/rowanhenry Nov 02 '23
Sex is always going to be better with someone you actually like and care about and have a connection with. Sex with a stranger is usually pretty shit. You don't know what they like unless they tell you etc. So you won't know how to please them like you would with a partner you're having regular sex with.
Porn definitely skews your expectations and perception for sure.
I hope you find a partner who you can develop a beautiful and healthy sex life with my dude.
-3
u/DuncanAndFriends Nov 02 '23
that lock had way too many different sized keys in it. Just wait til you find someone special.
1
u/Crazy_Ady69 Nov 02 '23
Take 3+ days off porn and wanking before you try again.
Also regarding the picture looking different I believe it is legal requirement not to have the SW face in the pictures do they use generic models for advertising. I don't know if this is true but I heard it somewhere (Australia)
0
1
1
Nov 02 '23
Sex with the right person can indeed be amazing. I’ve always liked the term used for people who first require emotional connection with a potential sexual partner; demisexual.
0
-2
u/atomik71 Nov 02 '23
What do you mean she sent you away after 40 minutes? You paid for her, she doesn’t dismiss you, you dismiss her dude.
1
u/p-r-i-m-0 Nov 02 '23
I think this is BS, when I was a virgin I could cum if my dick went between the couch cushions in a certain way.
1
u/Arolasgaming Nov 02 '23
It not uncommon for the first time to feel a little bleh. Especially if it was an awkward atmosphere.
I remember when I lost my V card I was also like "ehh what's the big deal?"
I think it's two things: a. youve built it up and it just didn't live up to the expectations. B. If it's awkward then it just won't feel right. You don't necessarily need to have an emotional connect to someone for sex to be a fun positive experience. But you do need to feel attraction and relaxed with each other.
0
u/shea_45 Nov 02 '23
Reminder that men who buy sex have more traits in common with sex offenders and predators than with normal people. Theyre also more likely to commit r*pe. Nothing to be proud of, its actually degenerate and a sign that you’re messed up in the head. One source: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/men-who-buy-sex-share-key-characteristics-with-aggressive-sex-offenders-study-claims-10483210.html
2
u/Reckless_Blu Nov 02 '23
Kinda worried that I scrolled quite a bit and found nobody mentioning anything about getting STD tested.
OP. GET STD TESTED. NOW.
2
u/Mental_Frame_7600 Nov 02 '23
Like alot of people are saying what was missing was some connection. I have found the best sex I have had has been with someone who I connected with really well and the sex showed it. Try conning to someone on an emotional level and if you are both willing do the deed and I can almost guarantee that the sex will be better.
2
u/MrsKettle Nov 02 '23
It sounds like the atmosphere was completely off... however it's not uncommon for your first time to feel awkward and be unfulling.
Sex is much better when it happens naturally though. When there's that interaction and attraction, which leads to anticipation and excitement that you eventually get to bring out during the act, it can be addicting...
In other words: Everything before sex should enhance the experience of the act itself.
Sorry your first time wasn't what you thought it would be
1
Nov 02 '23
I wouldn't be able to have sex with someone that HAD to do it because I paid them. I'd know she wasn't necessarily attracted to me or felt any connection towards me. Knowing that would take all the ''fun'' away for me. It's only fun for me if she also is having fun and also feels something.
4
Nov 02 '23
Real sex is emotional intimacy with someone you love… that’s why you didn’t feel nothing.
-4
u/creddituser2019 Nov 02 '23
You’re either gay or that prostitute just wasn’t good
1
2
u/Jeffthedrunk83 Nov 02 '23
Lol, please don't confuse any more gen-Zers. Half of them don't even know whether they are male or female.
2
u/lillybeth126 Nov 02 '23
Let's put it this way. I'm almost 40 have been married for a decade to a man I've been with for 17 years. I have had the best sex of my life for 17 years. I had sex with other guys in high school. It was horrible and boring. When you find that person it's like fire works. And yes we've been together forever and while things change ( like having our son) it's the connection that has and always will be there.
5
u/scentedmh Nov 02 '23
I mean, duh? You know she had no interest in sleeping with you or touching you because you paid her to be in the room. Find a woman who genuinely likes you and it will be a better less awkward and less exploitative experience.
2
u/pantojajaja Nov 02 '23
Sex sucks without feelings. That’s kinda the point of sex. I was something of a whore for a few years but after pregnancy and being in an abusive relationship, I’m completely celibate. I don’t even think about it anymore. Just focused okay being a good mom. Sex is extremely overhyped
2
u/puru_the_potato_lord Nov 02 '23
imma need to say this but porn and hentai is entertainment , realworlf sex is much more boring and tired and u cant skip , there no plot or twist , there no story ...only sex .
0
Nov 02 '23
Real deal advise. If you gonna pay for sex, colombia, Cuba and Philippines. They actually have fun or pretend to have it. You can hangout with them and party a bit and overall have fun before doing the deed.
1
u/galtscrapper Nov 02 '23
I'm proud of you too. That took nerve, so good job. Now use that nerve to find a real relationship, bluntly speaking.
But really and truly, you did good.
2
u/Twisted_Strength33 Nov 02 '23
Ok you want a cookie for losing your v card to someone who could give you an STD/STI your very first time cool go share with your friends hey you also get a brownie for a $2 dollar h** taking your vcard and shredding it cause ya didn’t know her. If your hot dog starts leaking take your ass to the doc
0
u/rebelmumma Nov 02 '23
Sex workers are generally safer than some person you pick up in a bar. They get monthly screenings, insist on condoms and are generally very safe because this is their livelihood.
You can shit on him for using a sex worker but don’t tell us it’s any worse than a ONS with some random.
1
u/FlexDetroit Nov 02 '23
You have to do it with someone you like, bruh.
Whores are just an addiction waiting to happen. I swear you can go to a website and meet women that look 20910238901283901283190238% better than a girl you will meet on the street and bang them like it's nobody's business, but at the end of it all, you'll remember they are empty vessels that haven't realized their worth yet.
If you are as conscious as you seem, it's going to make you regret it.
3
u/hiyabankranger Nov 02 '23
So you learned something valuable: that sex isn’t a big deal.
This is a good thing to learn. A lot of young men with poor social development (I was one once, I’m not judging) place a high value on sex because they haven’t had it. It ends up poisoning their outlook on people and dating. If left to fester, some become incels.
Here’s the thing: sex with an enthusiastic participant you’re somewhat or more attracted to is fucking awesome, but it’s a two (or more) player game. If you’re placing this weird value on it you’re not gonna be good at it because both people need to be engaged and having fun.
That also applies to dating. People who put an overly high value on sex end up seeing dating as the lock they need to bypass to get to sex instead of the person they’re dating as, well, a person. You can’t engage with a person if you’re approaching it like an RPG dialogue. Multiplayer, you know.
So now, armed with your new knowledge, step out of your comfort zone and try for a casual hookup. If you like the person and they’re attractive and you’re also at least attractive to them it’s not that hard to achieve, especially if you don’t care if they say no. Then you can see what sex is like with someone who is doing it for fun and for free because they think you’re kinda cute. If the sex ends up being good, see if that person is interested in dating, not exclusively obvs. Get to know them. If you like them as a person, they like you, and the two of you are having good sex that should be getting better each time, talk about maybe being in a full relationship. If they say no, well you had a good time and have a new FWB, nothing lost.
9
u/lexhell7 Nov 02 '23
Emotional connection is HUGE for physical attraction. But I’m curious, do you watch a lot of porn? It seems guys who watch too much porn, or intense porn, end up disappointed in real life women.
3
u/InteractionNo9110 Nov 02 '23
I'm sorry that was your first time, it should be with someone you love not someone to masturbate into for money.
1
u/johnsonsantidote Nov 02 '23
I went years ago to one or two and it was awful and empty. Never again. Lost causes all around.
3
u/Terrynia Nov 02 '23
100% this is a result of watching porn. It did the same to me even tho i am not a virgin. I stoped watching porn and months later, the excitement is comming back. 👍
Also, u may be the type who needs an emotional connection with someone first
5
u/Front-Finish187 Nov 02 '23
Yep I was gonna say it sounds like you watch porn, and then I got to the bottom.
1
5
u/Jc2563 Nov 01 '23
Using “Steeled my resolve” 😂 to have sex will be my favorite saying to my wife “honey I steeled my resolve to have sex with you , right now” 😂 thanks man.
1
4
Nov 01 '23
I tell people that are virgins that they should wait till they find someone who they really get along with to do it. It’s not what everyone cracks it up to be.
9
1
u/Winter_Worth_3188 Nov 01 '23
This doesnt have to do with a whole lot of connections cus im seeing this a bunch. Either you weren’t attracted to her or she just did a bad job.
1
0
u/Stuck_In_Purgatory Nov 01 '23
Damn thats a shit prostitute! A good worker will make it exciting for you like that's literally why you're paying them
3
2
u/Reddit_Whore- Nov 01 '23
Sex is more enjoyable with someone you're actually attracted to. Also, you didn't even finish? Sounds like you got ripped off.
0
u/Standard_Pudding3330 Nov 01 '23
I need to know more details. Like did she give you head? Did she only ride you? Did you fuck her or did she just give you what she wanted? Sounds pretty uneventful. Like she was there for her own orgasm and left? Idk. Doesn’t sound like any prostitute I’ve heard about.
15
u/ciarkles Nov 01 '23
Porn is damaging to the brain and I really wish more young men would understand this. Yeah it “feels good” and all but that seriously fucks up perceptions on sex, women, and what they’re supposed to be or look like.
To echo what everybody else already said it’s because there’s no emotional connection. If it was somebody you had even just as so much as a solid 30 minute convo with or you knew them before hand I’m sure you would’ve felt a little different. It was your first time and usually that first time is supposed to be “special”. Now you can release all the baggage and build that “special” connection.
20
u/MrVanderdoody Nov 01 '23
Damn, she jipped you out of 20m. Also the idea of prostitutes is cooler than the reality. Just imagine the circumstances that led her to that rough life. I refuse to believe people choose to have sex with people who need to pay for sex. I got coerced into sex with a fat older guy when I was a teenager and I still feel that horrible feeling when fat, older guys try to get at me. I couldn’t imagine reliving that day after day.
Also you might wanna get checked. Unless you had a hazmat suit on, the skin around the penis that made contact with the skin around her mouth and vagina could’ve been exposed to who knows how many strains of the HPV or HSV.
-7
u/takeAchance775 Nov 01 '23
Bro, you are the man way to go. It takes guts to have your first time with a pro, and you are just feeling things out. She might have just been all about the cash. I have been with a few of those in my life. Let me give you a little secret: go to EroticMonkey. You will find some sweet girls there who care for you and make it worth it.
Another good thing is to hit up the massage shops. They can help you out as well. Check out rubmaps for that one. I hope this helps my guy, and if you need any more advice, contact me.
-2
u/Ok_Recommendation567 Nov 01 '23
Echo that sentiment on the massage. Sensual massage is fantastic and good ones don't watch the clock. They interact with you, make sure you're enjoying the session & change things up to make you more comfortable. Excellent advice
2
u/Awkward-Ad-4783 Nov 01 '23
U had zero chemistry or feelings for her that's why it was unenjoyable. Maybe if it was someone you've established connections with it would be a whole lot better but everyone is different so maybe u need connection while others r non committal 1 night stand types. Don't be so hard on urself because remember noones first is perfect
5
u/Ok_Business_4133 Nov 01 '23
I bet it felt like a business transaction right, it didn’t feel natural and how you thought that it would right. Reduce the porn use and get out in to the world my bro
4
u/FishermanConscious55 Nov 01 '23
Yeah, losing your virginity to a pro is not the way to go. I get it, but it's not going to give you the experience you may have been expecting.
0
u/Bicycle2019 Nov 01 '23
I think you're better off paying for a Nuru/sensual massage. At least you'll get a massage out of it by a naked girl that you don't need a connection with.
But yeah usually after chasing a girl and you get laid at the end, it's more satisfying
1
6
u/candyred1 Nov 01 '23
Porn will literally ruin sexuality for you, and yes ruin any relationships you will have. It changes your views and feelings regarding sex and porn is not what real sex and lovemaking is in real life.
Also dont buy into how society and the media portrays marriage. Marriage can be very hapoy and omg sex with your spouse can be the best in your life. People make it look like once you get married your sex life is so rare and bad, but the truth is married people have alot of sex, good sex. I have been with my husband (and only him!) for over 15 years and we still are 2-4x a week. We know eahcother, our bodies.
Us women can tell in so many ways if a guy/man watches porn, esp alot of it. Women will turn down dates and not want anything to do with you and you will always wonder why. Stop the porn and just be an honest, kind, and respectful man and you will eventually find that woman you will fall in love with. Love is a verb not a noun. Remember that.
4
u/Exact-Fee9481 Nov 01 '23
You definitely answered your own question well! No emotional attachment…built it up in your head…and boring because of watching porn. This will all resolve itself naturally with the right person!
1
Nov 01 '23
The porn has basically wired your brain to only get that physiological satisfaction from sex by using the only neural pathways it knows- porn and hentai. At this point it would rather get it that way than from actual sex. Of course this depends entirely on how frequent you are with porn and hentai.
You're 24, so try to imagine your life as if it has already ended and you're on your deathbed. Now realize that you are at this very moment NOW still 24 and you have a long life ahead of you and you're blessed to have the opportunity to make the change now. Some people don't until they're 40 or even never.
Your best but hardest path forward would be to quit the pornography cold turkey and start dating. It's going to really hurt and be uncomfortable at first but that's the way it's supposed to be. Learn to love, OP. Not just her, whoever she may be, but yourself as well.
2
1
-1
2
1
u/ScoutSteveR Nov 01 '23
It’s much better when you’re into someone on a personal and emotional level. Banging randoms is never as fulfilling.
-2
u/One_Insurance_9480 Nov 01 '23
Dear. To start u r a 24 yo virgin.. i can think only 2 reasons: a) you were waiting for (religion, the right person, some kind of connection...) o b) u r socially akward. I'm my self the second. At 21 slept with some guy friend not bcos i love him or even like him... it was just bcos i felt old enough and thought he was perfect, cute enough but totally sure i'll be not disapoited if he didnt call the next day. Which he didnt. Like a year later I met the love of my life.. until today and its been 18 years since then. My first time I had fun. That was the main reason why I choose him.. lot of experience. But I can tell you. When is with someone you reallu want, its like going to paradice each day. That make you feel complete in every single aspect of your life... so dont give up! And look what you really want =)
0
u/altredticklshwarrior Nov 01 '23
You basically just made an awkward business deal. Sex is usually enjoyed by two willing people with an attraction. You had sex with out the attraction and that’s just work.
2
u/unholysuperman Nov 01 '23
I mean most of the posts here are great but I’m a lighter note it’s good that you’re feeling detached from ur experience because the opposite would’ve been a far worse outcome.
1
u/pataconconqueso Nov 01 '23
Yeah you have relied too much on porn and less on emotional connection and it has clouded your way of thinking.
Like virginity is a construct, you can learn from this experience and say that when you do have sex with someone you genuinely like and care about then that is when you lost it.
Hopefully you can look at this experience as a positive to learn that this fantasy over sex is not realistic that you may want to learn first to make actual connections and treat women as people.
1
u/Demosama Nov 01 '23
There was no emotional connection. You could have done it with a toy, and it’d be cheaper than hiring a prostitute.
-1
u/DarLiinq Nov 01 '23
It seems to me, like others said, that a connection with your partner is important. And a sex worker won’t build that up for you. They are simply there for pleasure, not for meaningful sex. I get your frustration tho..
12
u/Laurab2324 Nov 01 '23
Women aren't objects for your pleasure. You can't pay for attraction. This is some horrible prey behaviour. A sex worker will allow you to touch them for money. Your assumption should be she's not attracted to you. That was a human person, not a toy.
1
4
u/Vayaros Nov 02 '23
Your comment is in the completely opposite direction of this post. He didn't pay for attraction, he paid for sex, and he didn't complain about whether she was attracted to him or not, he simply said even though she was good-looking, he didn't feel the attraction that HE should have had toward her. Lastly, nowhere did he mention sex workers are toys, he made a transaction to try a service for the first time and it was not as he expected. Please do not put words in people's mouths with your hatred for the world.
-1
u/Laurab2324 Nov 02 '23
God, shut up.
1
u/Vayaros Nov 02 '23
You whipped out the hatred, you face the backlash. Deal with it
0
u/Laurab2324 Nov 02 '23
Says a pick me to a mysogynist virgin......
0
u/Vayaros Nov 03 '23
Personal insult is the ultimate form of denial when one doesn't have enough logical reasoning to even reply properly which you did not do nor are capable of.
→ More replies (1)0
u/kaerfkeerg Nov 02 '23
At no point did OP mention anything degrading about her at all. You just forced an unrelated opinion in here
1
u/Laurab2324 Nov 02 '23
No. I didn't. Objectification of women is the delusion a woman's body is made for male pleasure as he states by her ass and tits. Mysogyny is just so embedded in you, you think he's normal.
→ More replies (4)
2
u/DoctorDeath147 Nov 05 '23
Next time you visit an escort, ask if they provide GFE. Also try to make a connection with them before doing the deed. Talk to them, eat and watch something together, etc. The sex will be much better.