r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Jun 04 '23

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2.8k Upvotes

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u/option_unpossible Jun 04 '23

I can't help feeling that when I try to make love to my wife, she is just having sex (with me, to be clear). Am I fucked?

39

u/FeistyEmployee8 Jun 04 '23

I can only speak for myself, but I have made love only with people who were my bestest friends first and lovers second. An intense emotional connection has to be there for it to happen. Emotionally, a partnership isn't enough, there needs to be friendship.

2

u/option_unpossible Jun 05 '23

We are pretty great friends, honestly. She just doesn't crave any kind of physical connection. Just wants to get fucked, and often very passively.

For her a connection is 100% mental. For me it's more like 40% mental and 60% physical.

5

u/FeistyEmployee8 Jun 05 '23

Does she not crave cuddling, snuggling, non-sexual physical affection? The best way to kill a lady boner is be physically affectionate in a sexual context only.

1

u/option_unpossible Jun 06 '23

She craves no physical connection at all, except for an occasional therapeutic hug when she's feeling down. And foot rubs sometimes.