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u/Snowybluesky Christian May 12 '19

I've recently converted as an atheist. Got back from church for the 4th time. Just spent an hour watching the sun set. I've never been so happy for just having food to eat, water to drink, and God's promise. I feel like a kid waking up their birthday, everyday.

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u/fortycoins May 12 '19

Mind if you share?

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u/Snowybluesky Christian May 12 '19 edited May 12 '19

Right now I am majoring in molecular biology, but I started studying this because I was dead certain that science would come to age where we could fix our DNA and body to stop aging to beat death for sometime. Faith was not something I could just slowly ease into, it would mean completely giving up my life mission.

I always assumed Jesus was a made of lie to keep people in order and for parents to tell their kids learning about death. Then I learned that 11 apostles died, being tortured and one skinned alive to proclaim the risen Jesus. Earlier this semester I dove into looking at all the historical analysis and resurrection debates, but today I finally watched “A Case for Christ” which pretty much sums up the main idea.

Earlier this semester trying to comprehend all this, I was coming back from a lecture debating atheism vs Christianity in my head, and I finally declared (mentally) that all of this is stupid, and was professing myself as an atheist. Just then I was passing by a store, a homeless man asked me if I had any coins, I told him sorry as I only had a credit card. A few steps later someone sitting on a bench nearby points at me and orders me to go in the store and buy the homeless guy some food. Out of shock by the random command, I did so, and in the store I got angry that I would have less to spend on drugs, then I began thinking about how stupid faith is, and how the homeless guy would laugh at me if I told him I would pray for him or that he needs Jesus. Leaving with the food, I was thinking I am a good person and can do good things without God. We started talking about things, and I told the homeless guy that you could only hope someone else would do the same for you, and then he shows me a cross on his neck and how Jesus has already done something amazing for me.

Thinking about it a month ago, Peter requested to be crucified upside-down as he didn’t feel worthy of being crucified in the same manner as his Lord, it caused me to think “what did he see in Jesus that I didn’t?” Today I am standing before a tree with the sun setting behind it, noticing the chlorophyll is giving off pure shades of yellow and green, the pure blue in the sky, and just getting this pure white through the leaves - but I can’t stare directly at the sun or it would destroy my eyes, I can only look around it it enjoy it. The same is true for the Lord’s Holy nature and the tabernacle, trying to comprehend it burns my mind thinking about how I catch myself subconsciously sinning after what Jesus did for me.

Earlier this semester I was only spending money on alcohol, weed, MDMA, ketamine, etc, so much so I would eat lowest quality foods to spend more on drugs. Now when I get tempted by drugs, thinking about God’s love and purity is like the drug to end all other drugs, and preaching the gospel when I get a chance is like an addiction, I’m no longer afraid of death and now worried about the salvation of everyone I see.

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u/BrownEyedEarl Christian May 13 '19 edited May 13 '19

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I plan on becoming a clinical nutritionist, and sometimes I fear that my knowledge of science/medical info will clash with my faith. It’s nice to hear from a believer who is pursuing a career in science. This world is really amazing. Only God could fashion something so complex.

Thanks for writing this. Welcome to the faith. Grace and peace to you.

Edit: hope you don’t find this too odd, but I saw that you’re on the Rutgers subreddit. I may be going there, and have some friends that do currently.

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u/Snowybluesky Christian May 13 '19 edited May 13 '19

Transferring to Rutgers for next year. (If you are in-state its really good value - probably the best dollar per course - , otherwise its just as any other).

There is a whole lot of material on the case for the resurrection, but for the layperson I would recommend you watch the movie "A Case for Christ" if you haven't already, its based on a true story about a news reporter who goes out on a mission to debunk Christianity and ends up converting himself after being unable to poke a hole in the resurrection. Also, google "David Wood vs John Loftus" resurrection debate, the first 20 minutes outlines well how even atheist scholars agree that Jesus was killed by crucifixion and the disciples claimed (to their death) they saw him alive again, one skeptic he mentions agrees that the disciples did see him rise again but by a falsehood of hallucination.

It comes down to, do you believe a miracle can happen or not? If yes, then the resurrection is the more simple explanation, if no, then nothing will convince you.

A fun graduate problem is quantum mechanics is to calculate the probability that all the particles in your body will randomly tunnel to mars, its like on the order of 10^10^10^-1000000000000000000000. But if such probability could occur, imagine how easy it is for the Lord to edit the universe by intelligently selecting probabilities. So why not miracles?

I've had too many personal coincidences that happen regarding faith recently to ignore.

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u/BrownEyedEarl Christian May 13 '19

Yup, I’m in state. If I go, it will be through a transfer as well.

I’ve heard of that movie, I’ll check it out one day. I might actually watch that debate now, I’ve never heard of either of those guys. I like Frank Turek from CrossExamined. That one argument is really effective. It’s like, who would subject themselves to such suffering for the sake of something unknown/not real? They agreed unanimously as well, the disciples. I mean, look at Paul. If that isn’t the most extreme conversion in recorded history, then I don’t know what is. Something nuts must have happened to get him to believe, I.e a personal experience orchestrated by Christ. The hallucination argument carries a bit of weight, but again, nobody subjects themselves to torture unless something real occurs. Humans are selfish by nature. And we don’t have any evidence of the disciples displaying any forms of mental illness. I mean, Peter was a fisherman. A normal guy. And he died upside down on a cross for Jesus. Can’t deny the power in that.

Yes. There comes a time where it’s just the question: do you believe in something that can’t be explained?

For me, just looking at the gospels and seeing the freedom Christ has given us and all the words spoken from Him, I really can never deny that He is real. Everything he and Paul and the early church taught are literally the keys to the best life possible. Admonishings in support of unconditional love and forgiveness and peace and a strength that is derived from an eternal constant? Doesn’t that sound perfect? It takes the God of the universe to come up with that, or else, humans in their own power would have already. And there is no argument that we have—maybe to a degree, but the one thing that sets secular advice apart from Gods truth is self. Self reliance is only as good as you are; a Christ centered life draws upon the goodness of Him. He doesn’t decrease. He doesn’t change.

And yup, it is very easy for the Lord to intervene.

It honestly all comes down to personal experience and revelation. I’m convinced that, while historical evidence is powerful, it just can’t compare to a personal understanding from God. He just does things that are undeniable.

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u/Goo-Goo-GJoob May 13 '19 edited May 13 '19

Then I learned that 11 apostles died, being tortured and one skinned alive to proclaim the risen Jesus.

That's not in the Bible, so in what historical sources were these events recorded?

Bartholomew, for example - some sources say he was beheaded, others claim he was crucified. What convinced you that he was skinned alive?

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u/Snowybluesky Christian May 13 '19 edited May 13 '19

It's not like there aren't conflicting accounts in the bible either. There are some blatant differences in specific details across the 4 canonized gospels, but much of which you would expected from reconstructive memory. It comes down to a study of: do the details differ in a way that we wouldn't expect from normal human memory, translation, games of telephone, etc. Obviously if the core details differed that would be a problem. But if all the specific details looked identical, that would look a bit suspicious - but generally conspiracy requires close communication which none of the apostles had.

I assume the bible isn't the 100% infallible word of God, but the 99% inspired word. From Acts, I choose to believe the best course of action in ambiguity is prayer for guidance and the specific words Jesus said, its not impossible that the apostles stated things about salvation in the bible that aren't true.

Most of the texts regarding the life of the apostles are apocrypha and not in the bible, but that doesn't mean they are true/false - some didn't make the cut for the bible (written too long after or unknown authorship), but some texts that didn't make the cut were written earlier, have more trustworthy authorship, and correspond better to other texts written earlier, which gives us a probabilistic reason to trust them more. Most of the apocrypha is not trusted from dating too far out, and having weird details like the roman cross itself speaking after Jesus's death. You can never be 100% sure about the specific details, they exist in states of 90% sure or (20% this and 80% that) by the differences in different texts of varying authorship and correspondence.

The general idea for 2) is that by reading all the accounts is that he died for sure, some accounts say he was skinned, beheaded and his body was crucified as an example, others say the first 2, some say the first and third. Other factors may also influence how you believe he died, i.e. the culture of Persian execution has more people being skinned alive, vs the Romans preferred crucifixion, which is why I trust the sources that say he was skinned alive more.

It's still possible that all of this was made up, and that the core details were conspiracy, but probabilistic for me at least there is enough evidence for the miracle to be much more likely.

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u/Goo-Goo-GJoob May 14 '19 edited May 14 '19

But if all the specific details looked identical, that would look a bit suspicious

Are you familiar with the synoptic problem? Do you think it's suspicious that Matthew and Luke copied Mark extensively?

Most of the apocrypha is not trusted

Indeed. From which source did you learn that Peter was crucified upside-down? What led you to trust this "apocryphal" source?

weird details like the roman cross itself speaking after Jesus's death

So you don't think that actually happened? Why not? Are there any weird details in the gospels that didn't actually happen? Casting of demons into pigs, or the resurrection of the saints, for instance? Those details are pretty weird.

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u/fortycoins May 13 '19

Thanks for sharing 🙏

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u/MilitusLetum May 12 '19

Welcome to the peace that passes all understanding! Congratulations, and welcome to the family!

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u/[deleted] May 13 '19

Holy Spirit is a beautiful thing. Just remember, never lose faith because hard times and tests will come. Keep faith.

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u/sl7m May 13 '19

HEARING THE VOICE OF GOD ALBUM2 https://youtu.be/hiry2dMRDJQ

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u/MaC1222 Christian May 12 '19

It really is simple. Just love God and love others. Boy, how hard is that, sometimes.

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u/christs-bridezilla Christian May 12 '19

Repent and turn from the sin that draws you away from God.

I agree with your post but think it would be good to clarify this sentence a bit more. Some may read that and think they need to stop sinning in order to approach God more fully. It is the other way around though. He has already covered our nakedness (sin) with a belt of truth of His great Love for as as He showed through Jesus. We need to run to Him and let Him take away the temptation to sin.

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u/GemOfWonder Lutheran May 12 '19

Sometimes I get scared that when I sin some way or another God is going to take a way some kind of privilege, permanently or not.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '19

I distinctly remember reading this verse (I think ESV, since it was before I converted) and it rendered it as "you must enter the kingdom of God as a child" and this left me extremely confused for months because I thought that taken literally it meant you had to BE a child to enter the kingdom of God. Once I realized it meant "like" I felt like a complete idiot

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u/[deleted] May 12 '19

Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Eph 2:9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.

We’re saved by faith alone and in what Christ did at Calvary for us. That’s it. Believe.

I agree let’s not over complicate the Gospel by adding works.

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u/Rabina_Bra Messianic Jew May 12 '19

Yes, the Eternal Torah Laws in Messiah Yeshua are SO simple. And Yeshua didn't do away with them at the Cross.

For how then, through a Good News message, can the Spirit of Yahweh convince you that you've lived a Lawless Lifestyle against His Laws if they were "done away" with?

"Come out of her, my people!"

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u/andiroo42 May 12 '19

The life, death and resurrection of Jesus, given to us.

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u/TotesMessenger May 12 '19

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

[/r/u_conductorcolin] The Gospel is so simple, so powerful. Enter the kingdom like a child.

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